Corn on the cob in just four minutes?! (6 Photos)

  • human06

    Testing. Testing. Is the internet on for everyone else. First 4 times in a row

    • Pants Pudding

      It's on, but we aren't self-important ball garglers like you.

    • that one guy

      the chosen one. you, human06, are a god among mere mortals. the ancient stories depict a tale of a man with the ability to claim first with little to no resistance 4 times in a row, a feat unachievable by any non celestial, this deeming him immortal. the power is now yours, and we your humble servants. mercy, human06. mercy.

  • gclark

    Mind blown.

  • TNchiver

    ^ Guess that makes u 4 times as gay as you were earlier! On a brighter note

    • Bryan

      What does the person being an idiot have to do with their sexual orientation? When you insult someone, try coming up with something clever instead of ignorantly using the word gay.

      • Big Gay Al

        Yeah, try using Homo, or fag, this way you won't offend all the gay people out there by using their word out of context. Get over yourself Bryan.

        • Bryan

          I'm not gay myself, and am not offended, I just like to think that the Chive community is more tolerant than having to rely on gay slurs as insults.

          • SouthernRebel18B

            Why don't you just police yourself and not worry about others – just a thought.

            • OneClownShoe

              i know for a fact that Bryan is gay, aka butt pirate, aka pillow biter, because I saw him sucking dick in the back alley earlier today..

      • Andrew

        Agreed with Bryan. The Chive comments are really getting heavy on the homophobic slurs. Use better insults that don't include slurs about someone's sexual preference. It's not that tough.

        • Guesty McGuest

          Gay Chiver; not offended.

        • douche

          don't get offended when someone isn't implying a strictly homosexual reference, its not that tough

        • Pants Pudding

          The dynamic here isn't a desire to offend peope based on their orientation. The enjoyment is derived from how antsy it makes an insecure, straight male when you call him gay.

          • Andrew

            As a straight man who doesn't get antsy being called gay I think it's just a lazy way to put down someone. It's easy enough to make someone feel antsy without using words like that.

            • OneClownShoe

              faggots are gross period! but if it is two hot chicks that is okay, but a dude fucking a dude in the ass is just gross! fucking pillow biters…

            • Pants Pudding

              I'm all about efficiency

  • MohawkJon

    I'm going to get some corn and probably forget about it until I get a craving and realise that its no longer good…
    I'm so lazy I just talked myself out of 4 min corn.

  • Yup

    Anything cooked in a microwave usually ends up gross. Ill pass on being such a lazy ass American.

    • NHale

      But I guess you decided to not pass on being a self righteous condescending ignorant knob.

      • Andy Valentine

        Self-righteous and condescending, possibly, but ignorant? I don't think he is. I mean, has anyone else actually studied what happens to you food when it gets microwaved. Have you looked into all the reasons that your microwave is killing you? Do you know why Russia still bans them to this day? When I became a personal trainer and nutritional therapist, I learnt some scary stuff about them.

        Alongside the bollocks that we get fed (both in the mouth and through the media) from dickwads like the Sugar Association, Coca Cola and McDonalds (amongst many others who openly tell us that our diet is fine, even though we have NO handle on the obesity crisis), microwaves are up there as one of the prime causers of our (in a global sense of the word 'our') expanding wastelines.

        I wouldn't allow one in my house.

        • Alex Haschen

          I'm PRO microwave…. not fat either.

        • dafuq?

          lol Russia

          • Richard

            Might I remind you knobs, you ALL clicked on this post, just saying…

            • bottom

              …said the knob.

        • Jared

          Im sorry, but " Russia still bans them to this day" made me laugh. Fuck Russia. People are Obese all ove the world, yeah we have a problem with it here, but its not just americans. The Microwave doesnt make people fat, being a lazy cunt and eating to fucking much makes people fat.

        • TheSimonizer

          Yeah, 'cause obviously Russia is known for their common sense.

          Microwaves doesn't introduce calories to your food. The waistline problem isn't the microwaves.. it's the peoples using the microwaves.

          • Pants Pudding

            So I should stop cramming it (and myself with Hot Pockets)?

        • assman

          I bet you are afraid of buttons too you wannabe amish choad guzzler…all microwaves do is excite the water molecules in whatever substance you want to heat up. It's called science tool box. And if these people were all healthy as you try to come off as wanting to happen you would be out of a pathetic excuse for a job that really contributes nothing to society….keep your technology hating to yourself.

          • Andy Valentine

            a) Eduction: get some
            b) I'm not a PT any more, I was much younger when I did that. I'm now Head of Technology for a design company
            c) Go fuck yourself. You don't know me, you dick-wizard.


            • cdnalor

              "a) Eduction: get some" You should put this on a T-shirt

              • ERMAHGERDLOL

                hahaaaaaaaa I came back for the trolling, and now I want this tshirt with somethin merica and an explosion on the back. this shirt is to die for. Chive, make it happen

            • Frank M

              This thread had me at dick-wizard!

            • prune

              since I am from Merica and therefore have no education please explain to me what this "dick-wizard' is. I am quite curious as to its meaning.

              • Rej

                Imagine Harry and Hagrid on a cold winter day… lol

    • matt

      im canadian and i will often cook corn in the microwave. its good. get over yourself. and get off 'merica's back. other than bogus womens soccer wins, theyre pretty good neighbours.

      • Puffy

        Fuck you Canada nobody asked for your opinion on the situation.. Back to your cubby hole!

        • matt

          ill let nbc let you know how many fucks i give. youll have to wait 6 hours to find out though.

  • james

    #6 yes those worms and bugs you cooked in the corn are going to be so good

    • asdasd

      Sounds like someone's been deprived his whole life of fresh corn on the cob. I assure you, they check it for that kind of stuff before it gets on the shelf….

      • AmBushSteve

        Joking right? How in hell can they check every ear of corn for worms and insects? That notwithstanding, the freshest corn comes from Farmer's Markets. Little or no inspections there.

      • bbb

        Grew it on our farm since before i was born….Without husking the ear, no way you can tell for sure it's a clean ear.

        If you don't have the decency to take 15 minutes or so to prep your own meals at home, you deserve buggy rubbery microwave corn, bleh bleh blah

    • FarknChiveon

      Bear Grylls would agree. Proteins, bitches.

  • george w

    thats cool and all, but i'll stick with taking my time on the grill, hairy mess and all 🙂

  • das_mikey

    Amazingly, this works really well. The corn tastes great (unlike many mincrowaved meals).

  • OtherRob

    Hmmph. I'll take my corn outside to the grill and cook over fire like a real man.

    • amplidudes

      Real Men doesn't eat corn dude 😉

      • downtime

        you're right, real men grow their corn and then eat it.

        • Pants Pudding

          No, no, no. We want to grow nachos.

      • Matt

        Come to Nebraska and say that shit, I'd love to hear what happens.

        • matt

          come to essentially anywhere in the world and say that shit

        • SouthernRebel18B

          I was just thinking that, Matt! We were always taught to respect corn-fed boys and fear corn-fed girls!

    • Simon

      WARNING NOTICE: You shouldn't cook corn for the same time as you cook a real man.

      If you're cooking somebody, you need to make sure they're done all the way through.

  • hurp

    i'll drink my corn out of a can and eat it with my sugar intake thank you

  • Dr_StrangePants

    I'll pash.
    Corn on the cobb simpley isn't one of those foods you'd want to rush

  • saltygary

    Skip the microwave. Just cut off the top and throw it on the grill on low. Once the outside husk is nice and toasty (10 Min) the inside will be juicy and killer. It will be freaken hot as hell so let it sit for a few.

    Microwaves suck.

  • Reginald Black

    We've been doing this at home for a while now. I never realized it was something mindblowing.

    Although I prefer them grilled, this does work quite well. It tastes the same way as if you boiled it.

  • Right On

    Favorite way to make corn besides grilling. Picked some up from the dude selling them on the side of the road and froze em. I usually shuck half the husk before microwaving though. Better than boiling and a great snack.

  • Dr. Mantis Toboggan

    Microwaves can cook food?
    Mind brushed by a gentle breeze.

  • JohnD

    #6 That is the most random pattern of bites I've ever seen on a cob of corn. There's still half left!

    • Frank

      It only say Nom Nom Nom. It would take like 2 more Noms to have eaten it all.

  • rach

    you forgot a blob of salty butter nommmmmmmmmmmm

  • Underbaker

    So which end do I cut off? <img src="; width="100">

  • Lisa

    This works…better though? Open the husk, get the fuzz off (fuzz free is better don't you think?), butter it up, put the husk back up, dunk in water, wrap in tin foil, throw in camp fire coals. Add elk steak and good beer? It just doesn't get any better than that. 😉

    • map

      I love you Lisa…

  • Rubes27

    Like Cars? German Ones?

    Come visit my blog!:

    All Cars. All Awesome. All of the Time.

  • freddy boy

    Bob, you're my hero.

  • TubularTom

    Just because it's quicker doesn't mean it's better. Ain't nothin' like some good old-fashioned grill marks on a sweet, succulent ear of corn. Gives you that old-fashioned romantic feeling where you'd do anything to bone it.

    • Pants Pudding

      That's a special feeling, Lloyd

  • The Franchise

    This is oddly coincidental I was just listening to Dane Cook…

    "My dick feels like CORN!" ,,, "Gimme the butter baby, gimme the butter"

    • smallchinaman

      After listening to Dane Cook I would want to put my head in the microwave for 4 minutes.

  • Freddie Ray Sturdivant

    #2 how come when someone shows you something cool ,you've always got knuckle heads saying their way is better? What if I want corn on the cob but ain't got time to grill or its raining ? They didn't say do it this way everytime you cook. Damn people take a helpful hint and move on

  • azc9a7

    The only good use for corn is to make Burbon…and feed cows to make steak.

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