A few helpful tips to try while preparing your food (18 Photos & Video)

84 6

Via Buzzfeed

Via Buzzfeed

84 6
  • hpph00

    #15 This will probably save lives.

    • Chug

      Would have saved my filling if I'd known this a few years ago.

    • Penispuncher

      Who Ever thought of this is a wizard.

    • Daniel Tosh

      my fingers and teeth thank you

    • Phil

      What about the ones with no openings? Those are the hard ones to open.

      • Doctor


    • DrFunkenstein

      I got a Ka-bar for that.

    • ~(-_-~)

      and save nails nails for those who are undergoing chemotherapy

    • winning

      How do you get the first one open? :(

      • Shiftycap1


  • Awesome Possum

    The only thing this post taught me is that I'm hungry…

  • Juan R


    • FunKiller

      No, no you are definitely not "1st" at this or at life. Go back into your trailer in Texas and dream of a better time….if there even is one. You suck at this, and at life….now, go play in traffic, mmmk

  • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

    #5 If you have can afford a car with seat warmers, why are you picking up your own pizza?

    #18 Half the fun of dunking cookies in milk is licking your fingers afterwards…..

    • Phil

      Maybe he was able to save up for a car with seat warmers by not tipping a delivery boy for years, or just isn't lazy.

      • http://thechive.com/ GernBlansten

        Maybe you are over thinking this whole internet comment thing….

        • Underbaker

          I think he bought the car before Obama took office.

          • AnyoneForCoffee

            Here's your coat. There's the door.

            • Underbaker

              What? Is it time to vote him out of office already? But your right, at least that former executive found a job. Delivering Pizzas.

              • Guest

                Hope you are rich, otherwise Romney won't benefit you at all

                • Underbaker

                  That's a speculation, Obama not benefiting me is proven and no I am not rich, I would place myself at Lower-Middle to Middle income at around 70k for a family of 4.

  • Ben

    #11 or you could just use a knife?

    • http://www.facebook.com/stevecase21 Steve Case

      You don't get it do you?

    • Jamie

      The point of this tip was that sometimes knives smoosh soft food when you try to cut them. I've used heavy thread to slice cinnamon rolls for years. Slide the thread under the cinnamon "log", cross the ends over the top, and pull. Perfectly sliced without squishing the roll.

  • nowayjose

    #1 or just use a bag

    • Asolare

      This avoids the common slip-and-slide experience of bagels though!

    • Jonathan

      Ever heard of "reusable" containers?? Recycling? Saving the planet?

      • sean

        Recycling? dafuq is that?

        • guest

          what your Dad did, that night … you know?

  • Rich

    I just ate lunch and I want some more food now

  • KeepinCalm

    #2 Genius

    • Red

      Don't actual wine connoisseurs have wine coolers..?

    • http://www.facebook.com/shannon.coverdale.3 Shannon Coverdale

      Think I will start freezing olives for my martinis

      • KeepinCalm

        GREAT idea :)

      • Dr_StrangePants

        Reminds me of Whiskey-Stones.
        Only more covert and not sub-consciously announcing that you're an Alky.

        • KeepinCalm

          had to google, then had to buy

          • Dr_StrangePants


        • FunKiller

          Bourbon Cherries, even better.

          • KeepinCalm

            i like the direction this is going, my two faves – vodka and bourbon – just got better

    • Ummm

      Or just keep it in the fridge?

      • AnyoneForCoffee

        My thoughts too! You keep beer and wine in there, so why not spirits?

        • Dr_StrangePants

          Because your roommate may see it as an open invitation to take a swig of
          YOUR Cinnamon Bourbon.
          Until you get your own place, you just don't leave quality booze in the open

          • Indeed

            Cinnamon bourbon isn't quality booze.

  • blue_bronco

    I feel unclever

  • http://www.facebook.com/shannon.coverdale.3 Shannon Coverdale

    #7 WTF

    • thatgirldownsouth

      I want to go buy a bag just to see if this works.

    • Unfkngblvbl

      Yeah, guess I'm done eating Doritos ever again.

    • Tommy

      Get it? Now you can cook food so you can eat!!! Duhhhhhhh

    • Dr_StrangePants

      burn the calories in Junk Food to Cook Real Food!

    • Underbaker

      I'm pretty sure the cardboard box would have done the trick without wasting the doritos.

      • NeverseenDoritosbox

        huh, my Doritos come in a bag…

        • Underbaker

          Look at that white thing in the picture under the burning doritos. #7

          • Overbaker

            Maybe thats fiberglass tough guy

            • Dr_StrangePants

              Nope Cardboard.
              But Kinda TOXIC

    • Craig

      Fritos work even better

    • Matt

      How often would Doritos be easier to find than kindling? It's like saying "gold bullions re great for buying things if you can't find your wallet"

  • @lackofabetter

    #2 #9


  • Ryan M

    love these posts! don't always find each one useful, but somebody was thinking when they thought of these!

    • The_Dood

      I think just about everyone was thinking when they thought of anything…

  • WindyCityKid13


  • Derk3103

    #2 may be worth a try, but I'm not quite sure how well grapes freeze, it may be a little unsightly

    • Thrax

      They actually freeze really well. Frozen grapes are one of my favorite snacks in the summer.

      • Dr_StrangePants

        Imagine frozen strawberries may work just well

        • anon

          frozen strawberries are great in champagan. Or as most people call it, campaign.

  • Anonymous

    #7 That’s a little disturbing…

  • Bangerang

    #5 the people who can afford seat warmers aren't the type of people who would put pizza on their seat like that.

    • Stuyie Stuff

      Great idea … my 1962 Ferrari GTO has seat warmers. Now I know what to do with them!

      • Zerotolerance

        This d-bag just wanted to tell the Internet he has a Ferrari. Oh wow, ya don't say, a Ferrari! Holyshit——weak sauce bromie.

        • Sarcasm Perhaps?

          Hmmm…. I'm no Einstein, but I think he might have been joking. A 1962 Ferrari sells for approximately $3.5 million. Doubt s/he is bringing home pizza on the seats. Derp.

    • Buford_Justice

      sense when did seat warmers become these million dollar pieces of technology?

      • http://twitter.com/rivencleft @rivencleft

        Errrrrrmagerrrrd, Oldsmobile Bravada = $3,000 car, heated seats included.

    • sean

      you can get an early 2000s Caddy with heated seats front AND back for less than $4k…

    • Phil

      I do! I however don't have to drive an hour and don't worry about the pizza getting cold.

    • Poorguyw/richstuff

      I had a 2000 jetta vr6 for $4,000.00 that had three different heat settings for my heated seats. You don't have to be rich to have nice things, just persistent and optimistic.

      • Arby

        Lol, you drive a 2000 Jetta and call yourself poor guy with rich stuff. Should have just left it at poor guy, poor guy.

      • Hugh

        For a couple bucks just hire a homeless guy to ride with you to pickup the pizza then ditch him place pizza where is ass warmed the seat. Cheaper and easier.

    • FunKiller

      Dude, cars with seat warmers really don't cost that much more.

  • Sethiroth

    #7 those must be the new Flaming Hot Doritos

    • Jimmy

      ^ high hat

  • Banjo bob

    Spiral cut wieners = brilliant

    • Underbaker

      May try this with some sausages too.

      • DDD

        NEVER cut a sausage or brat, they have goodness inside!

        • wantomas

          True story

          • Underbaker

            If you ever tried Earl Campbell Hot links they taste great but have a little bit too much goodness inside and require a few holes to let some out, either that or wear safety goggles when you cut into them. Also think of that caramelized goodness it can create. Great tip on beans here, if you want to add some sausage rings to your beans, wait until the last hour of cooking then pan fry the sausage to get a good caramelized surface on them, then pour some bean juice in the pan to deglaze and pour everything back into the beans for 30-60 minutes more of cooking.

            • sean

              Bedder Cheddars are the same. filled with cheesy goodness, but if you dont pre-poke holes in them, the first bite is likely t oblind you lol

  • RhinosAreUnicorns

    #6 Then people will be wondering why I have a pants hanger in my kitchen when I'm not using it

    • kittygato

      Take your pants off first.

  • Really?

    Only a commie bastard puts ketchup on a hotdog.

    • WindyCityCHIver27

      That's the ULTIMATE sin. Ketchup never goes on a hotdog. In fact, there's a hot dog joint in Chicago that will take your picture and plaster it on their Wall of Shame if you are caught putting ketchup on your dog.

    • DDD

      why so many negative votes??

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Dah, Comrade Troll.
      That was Delicious

    • Really.

      I'm a conservative republican, and I love not only ketchup on my hotdog, but cheese, tomoatoes, and chili. Really.

      • sfb101


      • ???

        As opposed to a liberal republican?

    • Hugh

      Julia Child once remarked " mustard for anus and face meat only…never ketchup!!!". besides that red streak on a phalus symbol is just wrong.

    • yoursoul

      Must be from Chicago eh?

    • sudden impact

  • pump


  • Sade

    #4 Thanks!

    • DDD

      who the fack eats bologna, gross.

  • bacon cheese fries

    #13 That's a crazy-genius tip. Perfect for my wasp-the-coke-can phobia.

    • the franchise

      sure!… until you suck that wasp up right into your mouth!

  • http://www.facebook.com/cliff.bassett Cliff Bassett

    These were incredible!

  • Livin' Legend


    Traveler's Log, August 8th, 2012: This forest is never ending, and my supplies are dwindling. As I bedded down for the night I was overcome by a sudden chill. Unable to find kindling among these damnable tiny scraps of wood, I was struck by a sudden spark of genius: the Doritos! Using them as kindling, I built a roaring fire to drive away the chill.

    I'm so hungry.

    • https://www.facebook.com/Deniseopotomus De Decker

      This made me laugh harder than any of the pics so far today.

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