All in favor of quarantining Scottsdale, say I (39 Photos)

  • steelers4385

    I live in Glendale. Used to enjoy going to old town for drinks. Now…..well… all see why we dont go now.

    • FunKiller

      Cause all the douchebags from the west side are coming over here?

      • scottsdalenative

        hahah exactly

      • toogeekyforyou

        I hope so, that way I can stay on the west side of town and avoid them too.

        • lowercase

          You guys are all wrong, Sunnyslope is the place to be.

          • toogeekyforyou

            If you want to get shot….

    • toogeekyforyou

      Haha, same here, I live in Peoria and stay the hell away from Scottsdale. But they are starting to infest Westgate.

    • Derp

      Yeah man, Glendale for sure.

    • fabio

      Are they douchebags? Yes they are.
      Is it a crime? No, it's not.
      This post, proof , one more time, that this site is just racist.

      • real

        wait, a douche is a race now?

        • Dick Bearcat

          Mutha fuckin Orange people man….

    • ChandlerCanyoneer

      @steelers4385 – I'm in Chandler.. and have to stay away from there at all costs. The douche factor has become too great..

  • bringbacktheboobs

    yeah buddy first

    • Chiven


    • Sean David Rotter

      You would fit in well with these douche bags.

      • bringbacktheboobs

        I'm originally from SI, NY – these douche bags make the ones at the jersey shore seem tame.

      • ChiverMD

        Hats off to you, the anonymous tough guy via a comment section. The Internet is your playground

    • Crowley

      Your the only one that does not know your gay!

      • Kristen

        Wow, you should put that on a shirt…fuckin' unoriginal cunt.

    • Sam Fischer

      everyone hates you

    • man hands

      I'm pretty sure that these people are where the majority of the comments on the chive come from.

    • Name

      must be from Scottsdale.

  • meturkeysta

    I !

    • Spelling Police

      It's "aye," not "I." Kind of sad the Chive doesn't know that either.

      • someguy

        Agreed, but seconded nonetheless.

  • goldengekko1

    #39 best picture ever lol

    • Teders

      Hahaha Mac is fucking hilarious

      • ladderzombie

        and probably the only one in this gallery that isn't a douchebag.

        • HEEHEEMAN

          "I"? FAIL IDIOT FAIL IDIOT!!

    • hark1985

      #25 Patrick!!


      is that a shaolin munk way in the back?

    • man hands

      Mac is a douche.

    • man hands

      Mac is a douche!

    • JESSE

      Notice that this and #25 are in LOS ANGELES. Its basically one town just cut in half by desert.

  • stuff


    You…Yes You…are a douche.

    • just me

      Who's the biggest douche… You are!

    • Urethra Franklin

      My brother came all the way from Scottsdale Arizona, and you're not gonna sing for him??!!! Sing, like a bird

      • FunKiller

        It's Jimmy's brother!!!

    • 340Swinger

      I never understood why guys will wear their boxers and pants down that low. Pull them up goddammit.

    • Stian Mescudi

      those are some strange looking abs..

  • M-Shizz

    my eyes hurt

    • Juan

      Not now chief! I'm in the fuckin zone!

    • Levian

      I can't stop making that squinty face I make when i'm disgusted

  • Shannon Coverdale

    #6 Still would

    • davidhendu

      Im pretty sure you have herpes from just thinking about it.

    • Tom

      What would you do if you had a million dollars?

      • dmatthew12

        2 chicks at the same time….classic!

        • Silver

          The kinda chicks who would double up on a dude like me…

          • pedro

            I'm pretty sure you just called yourself a douchebag.


            • OfficeSpace


  • RhinosAreUnicorns

    #16 When did nicolas cage get a lip ring?

    • suds

      Douche bag definitely took a right hand to his face, look how crooked that nose is.

  • JT777

    Thank you good sirs for an excellent laugh …

  • keep it real

    How to look like a douche 101.

    • zgl

      some of these guys teach the advanced courses.

    • PoopSandwhich

      how to comment like a douche 102

  • CLTChiver

    Kill them with fire!!

    • terrified

      nuke the entire place from orbit. it's the only way to be sure.

  • Trez83

    So many douche-capes…..

  • I_am_golf_c0m

    I a resounding I 1,000,000x over!

    build tall wood walls around the city soak them in gas and light these douche's hairspray on fire!

    • Christian

      You wouldn't need gas with all that hairspray

  • BuffaloJustSayin


    • omgh4x

      why are people saying "I"

      the word is "Aye"

      learn to colloquialism

  • RhinosAreUnicorns

    #27 And how did Hitler's mustache get under that guy's chin?

    • NewMex

      I think you get one of those from licking the balls

  • Mr. T

    great post, kill em' with fire!

  • Chiven

    Man these guys look sweet

  • Admiral Ackbar

    Was this in Scottsdale or Russia?

    • borisborov

      My thought exactly.

    • Yeesh

      I thought it was Scottsdale, NJ

    • Sundevil81

      Must be Russia…I live in Scottsdale, AZ and we have nothing like that here…maybe on the southside…ha

      • smallchinaman

        Liar. You can't throw a breast implant in Scottsdale without hitting one of these people.

  • Rachel

    #18, #22, #28, #37 – WOW!!!!

  • M4jestic

    #39 .. you're just being modest xD

  • Anthony Danger Zavala

    Their shirts have bigger dicks then they do!

  • Bean

    Alot of Christians in Scottsdale

  • General

    Napalm it.

  • FunKiller

    Ok, WELL over half of these aren't even taken in Scottsdale…..sorry I have to defend my city. Granted you'll see these fine specimens at places like Blue Martini, or Shotgun Betty's…..there are great down to earth people here, and a shit load of great bars.

    • Chiven

      I'll give you that, plus you can find these jarbonis just about anywhere..

    • Ken

      And a shit load of douche bags!

      • FunKiller

        Apparently you'd fit right in, Ken!

        • Ken

          Don't be a hater FunKiller… every city has its douche's… Scottsdale just has a shit load of them!

    • Canman

      Looks like its full of douch-baggery level 1000

      Just sayn

      • pirate

        its clearly over 9000.

    • elboberino

      I have to defend Scottsdale as well…as long as you don't go to Old Town on the weekend, you really don't ever see these folks. I think they get bussed in from the rest of the Valley.

      • ScotchScotchScotch

        To answer your question, the buses come over from the West Valley.

        • toogeekyforyou

          The lightrail doesn't come that far west….

      • smallchinaman

        BS – I see these Assholes every time I go to Scottsdale regardless of the time or location. If phony was a liquid I would drown there.

        • Nick

          100%, they are every where.,… in pheonix the term "scottsdale douche" is a very known and understood term

    • Heather Curry

      Thank You!!!
      I've been thinking of moving there.
      You just gave me hope.

      • FunKiller

        It's a ton of fun….summertime is all about the pool parties. One thing I love about AZ is it's people from all over…..rarely are they actually from AZ, it's a melting pot!!

        • Maude3

          I'm a native to AZ and Snottsdale sucks. Just like all of the douche bags pictured here.

          • FunKiller

            That's funny cause there's about 4 pictures here that are actually taken in Scottsdale. Not saying there aren't any douchbags here….there are, just like any other city! I've met some of the greatest people from living here.

            • 15yearsAgoItWasCool

              There are at least 21 pics that were definitely taken in Scottsdale. Yea, there are some cool people, but there are way more douche bags, and it's only getting worse. The place has gone down way down hill. Scottsdale is fun during the month of March. the rest of the year it sucks

              • FunKiller

                Meh, I have fun here!

        • smallchinaman

          It is full of dbags, but have to agree with FK. Tons of fun can be had if you go in with the right attitude. Just know that every building you go inside of is going to be full of people wearing sunglasses.

          • FunKiller

            I have yet to see anyone wearing sunglasses inside a club at night….maybe it's just the places i'm going though.

    • meantux

      come to Jersey u won't find any of those here!

    • Almoney13

      I'm from the Toronto area and my parents are looking for a place in Scottsdale so I'm psyched to meet some fellow down to earth people and have a time! KCCO from Canada

      • FunKiller

        One thing I love about AZ is it's people from all over…..rarely are they actually from AZ, it's a melting pot!!

        • lowercase

          I am born and raised here. I'm a minority.

          • lowercase

            I mean, I'm white, but yeah you get it. I love when innocent stuff sounds racist.

            • FunKiller

              You are a rare breed lowercase…….shit, that kind of sounded racist too huh?

    • emu90

      how has this got so many downvotes?

      • FunKiller

        Seriously, I'm getting killed here!! Hahaa

        • emu90

          haha i copped a downvote just for questioning it!
          … there's some weird shit going on!

    • gUSTAVQ

      Give me ONE good place to see some LIVE music, not some "turntable remixed bullshit" with god damn bar monkeys running around with a bunch of nasty overdone bitches in heat fixin for some easy cash.


      • FunKiller

        Martini Ranch? I go to open mics around Scottsdale (good acoustic). It's cool man, you have your places and opinions….I have mine, I'm not pushin them on anyone……be my Fonzy, how does Fonzy act?

        The answer is: Cool

  • Ed Jones

    Somebody tell me those were staged shots, please! I thought Jersey Shores was just a bad acid trip. Quarentine won't work. It's gonna take a nuke.

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