August 20, 2012 |
In: Funny, Interesting
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Category: Funny, Interesting
to show how stupid you are.
you really showed him jared…
You misspelled your name, annoy.
fuck your mother
#11 Best point out of all of them
Someday he'll learn that Naps are amazing
I miss naptime, that shit was the best when I grew up. Wish we had those at work still. I mean like planned naptimes that bossman knows about
Move to Spain.
It's true. I wasn't born racist. I had no problem with white people until they started singling me out starting in grade school for not being white. So I tried hard as hell to prove I was a real American and made fun of other people who looked like me, you know, the fucking foreigners! Then I found out what racism is and that seriously pissed the hell out of me for life.
…back of the bus.
wait till they try to watch a movie at a theater with Mondays
As whitie you feel compeled to say that don't you?
That's a typo ….. He meant Nips…
people really need to get over the subject of racism. who cares what race anyone is.
I completely underestimated how much milk was left in the carton when I went to go kill it just now.
#18.. You son of a bitch!!
it got me…..again
Rick Roll… Level… Inception…
rick roll level…Keyser Sozye
we've only rick rolled 21% of the world? this is madness!
someone please explain this…
get a piece of paper write down the opposites of those words and sing them to your nearest friend
Don't actually do this. You will be punched by said nearest friend.
1 question, when was this EVER funny?
isnt it time to let it die already
see, you tell a joke once and its funny, the next 999 times you tell it its old and lame. but then, after about 1000 it gets so old and lame you have to laugh, but you arent laughing at the joke, you are laughing at how old and lame the joke is.
Ugggg! #2 gets me all the time!
My coworker knew it was Chive time when she heard me laughing. #13 got me. GAWD I need a life. …….. and on to the next post 😏
#18 that's cute
So are you… actually you're pretty hot.
Tee, hee…thank you, peanut. Would you like to put your penis deep within my velvet reccess?
I think Peanut fainted.
Because the man posing as a woman spelled it "reccess"?
#8 It is now!
This came from Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
#22 Its either no ice or all of the ice
yes that was the joke, thanks for pointing that out
Leave Gus alone. I didn't get it until he commented.
I see what you did there!
#7 Exactly! Except for the jewelry and dancing part. That is just kinda weird…
It's talking about wedding rings and your first dance
Really? I had no fucking idea. Are you sure it's not talking about you being a fucking moron?
If you have to explain the joke then….oh nevermind. Bring me ALL THE BOOBS!
#12 Haha Yep. On a related note, the wife and I are expecting! Twins! Say yay for us dumb folks!
Unlucky, man…just playin lol congratulations!
Trav, you are NOT the father.
Congrats from one dumb guy to another. <img src="http://hc.xikar.com/images/cigar-angle2.png" width="200">
you should have got a dog. You only ruin your carpet, not your life!
#11 is freakin awesome
is Bill Hicks
His kids are still slow learners though, mine hated veggies and being told "no" by age 2.
# 11 You know what else isn't born but taught? Stealing jokes. #billhicksshouldvebeentheonetolive
#19 The truth, it burns!
I hate to tell you kid, but this is far from the truth…
Let me correct it for you.
Poor until you get rich.
Single until you get married.
Atheist until you want an invisible magic father figure to fix the stuff you screwed up.
Since I've never been on a falling plane, I'll give the picture the benefit of the doubt. I'd like to believe that it's wrong, but it's hard to say.
All wrong. And there are in fact plenty of atheists in foxholes.
Everyone in a foxhole is an atheist.
Every athiest is in a foxhole.
Fundamentalist until you get educated
Conservative until you get a heart
Sexist until you have a daughter
#21 is an awesome strip. Cyanide and Happiness.
"Large Black Coffee"
No added douchiness.
And they'll repeat is back as a "Venti Pike", which you will agree with, resulting in implied douchiness.
Until you add "Like my wo/men."
walking into a Starbucks gives you enough douche points
#20 This is very confrontational…
Ever recoverd from a stall by praying? No, thought so. +1 for Atheism/science
Science is not the same as Atheism. Ask Einstein.
How do you know he didn't say "Oh, please God, no!" or "Help me, Jeebus!" before recovering? Hmmmm?
No…CHIVE..No-ho-ho…please…don't make me read! :'(
#21 love the briefs in the last segment!
#2 Same for texting
#18 I hope this isn't true.
If that's what you think about 18, then you are one of the 79%
#11 Not necessarily true. In my case racism was learned.
-through experience, that is.
Agreed! Southern blacks are the most racist people you'll ever meet! I moved to South Carolina a few years ago and it's amazing how ignorantly ghetto and racist they are towards everybody! Yet they are the first one's to cry racism and expect to be treated special and better than everyone else!?
Doubt me? come visit anywhere in the south east US and see for yourself.
Funny how that happens,isn't it?
thats why I say: fuckem
Y'all are some ignorant, racist motherfuckers.
OMG I just got rick rolled #18
#20 Somehow, my boss probably wouldn't find as much logic in this as I do. Apparently, the boss is wrong.
#11 is funny everytime.
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