Admit it, you know all of this to be true (22 Photos)

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Via Sadanduseless

91 5
  • momo


    • dagg nabbit

      fuck your mother

    • Jared

      to show how stupid you are.

      • anony

        you really showed him jared…

        • Kristen

          You misspelled your name, annoy.

  • SuperiorTo8

    #11 Best point out of all of them

    • dagg racist

      wait till they try to watch a movie at a theater with Mondays

    • Ugh

      As whitie you feel compeled to say that don't you?

      And …

      That's a typo ….. He meant Nips…

      • davo

        people really need to get over the subject of racism. who cares what race anyone is.

    • bkfrijoles

      Someday he'll learn that Naps are amazing

    • Pokepoke

      I miss naptime, that shit was the best when I grew up. Wish we had those at work still. I mean like planned naptimes that bossman knows about

      • AnyoneForCoffee

        Move to Spain.

    • bolweevil

      It's true. I wasn't born racist. I had no problem with white people until they started singling me out starting in grade school for not being white. So I tried hard as hell to prove I was a real American and made fun of other people who looked like me, you know, the fucking foreigners! Then I found out what racism is and that seriously pissed the hell out of me for life.

      • Hey, you...

        …back of the bus.

      • What's the point

        So…you're racist?

  • F16Chiver

    I completely underestimated how much milk was left in the carton when I went to go kill it just now.

  • Squelch

    #18.. You son of a bitch!!

    • dan

      it got me…..again

    • Tim

      Rick Roll… Level… Inception…

      • 2Dogs

        rick roll level…Keyser Sozye

    • wait

      we've only rick rolled 21% of the world? this is madness!

    • notshoowa

      someone please explain this…

      • Big Poppa

        get a piece of paper write down the opposites of those words and sing them to your nearest friend

        • Mickael Duncan

          Don't actually do this. You will be punched by said nearest friend.

    • bob

      1 question, when was this EVER funny?
      or clever?
      or entertaining?

      isnt it time to let it die already

      • HUH?

        see, you tell a joke once and its funny, the next 999 times you tell it its old and lame. but then, after about 1000 it gets so old and lame you have to laugh, but you arent laughing at the joke, you are laughing at how old and lame the joke is.

  • B Dub

    Ugggg! #2 gets me all the time!
    My coworker knew it was Chive time when she heard me laughing. #13 got me. GAWD I need a life. …….. and on to the next post 😏

  • LaurenGoMeow

    #18 that's cute

    • Peanut3603

      So are you… actually you're pretty hot.

      • LaurenGoMeow

        Tee, hee…thank you, peanut. Would you like to put your penis deep within my velvet reccess?

        • Hunter_BZ

          I think Peanut fainted.

          • Shannon Coverdale


            • Jawbone

              Because the man posing as a woman spelled it "reccess"?

  • bacon cheese fries

    #8 It is now!

    • AssHaterson

      This came from Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

  • Gus

    #22 Its either no ice or all of the ice

    • jim

      yes that was the joke, thanks for pointing that out

      • Tom

        Leave Gus alone. I didn't get it until he commented.

  • Happy Salmon

    I see what you did there!

  • Trav1121

    #7 Exactly! Except for the jewelry and dancing part. That is just kinda weird…

    • Ali

      It's talking about wedding rings and your first dance

      • Shit Shit Shit

        Really? I had no fucking idea. Are you sure it's not talking about you being a fucking moron?

    • Danno Maurer

      If you have to explain the joke then….oh nevermind. Bring me ALL THE BOOBS!

  • Trav1121

    #12 Haha Yep. On a related note, the wife and I are expecting! Twins! Say yay for us dumb folks! :D

    • Underbaker

      Congrats from one dumb guy to another. <img src="; width="200">

      • davo

        you should have got a dog. You only ruin your carpet, not your life!

    • Definitely

      Unlucky, man…just playin lol congratulations!

    • Maury Povich

      Trav, you are NOT the father.

  • Tiber_Septim

    #11 is freakin awesome

    • 2Dogs

      is Bill Hicks

      • Underbaker

        His kids are still slow learners though, mine hated veggies and being told "no" by age 2.

  • billhicksforever

    # 11 You know what else isn't born but taught? Stealing jokes. #billhicksshouldvebeentheonetolive

  • Pants

    #19 The truth, it burns!

    • HydrogenBond

      Fundamentalist until you get educated
      Conservative until you get a heart
      Sexist until you have a daughter

    • FloppyRocks

      I hate to tell you kid, but this is far from the truth…

    • James

      Let me correct it for you.

      Poor until you get rich.
      Single until you get married.
      Atheist until you want an invisible magic father figure to fix the stuff you screwed up.

      • partysauce

        Since I've never been on a falling plane, I'll give the picture the benefit of the doubt. I'd like to believe that it's wrong, but it's hard to say.

    • The Oldar

      All wrong. And there are in fact plenty of atheists in foxholes.

      • Mike Page

        Everyone in a foxhole is an atheist.

        • thedude325

          Every athiest is in a foxhole.

  • DaddyD

    #21 is an awesome strip. Cyanide and Happiness.

  • Canadastani

    "Large Black Coffee"
    No added douchiness.

    • Emucratic

      Until you add "Like my wo/men."

      • davo

        walking into a Starbucks gives you enough douche points

    • Civil

      And they'll repeat is back as a "Venti Pike", which you will agree with, resulting in implied douchiness.

  • Meertnnn

    #20 This is very confrontational…

  • science rules

    # 19
    Ever recoverd from a stall by praying? No, thought so. +1 for Atheism/science

    • Tom

      How do you know he didn't say "Oh, please God, no!" or "Help me, Jeebus!" before recovering? Hmmmm?

    • dusty0601

      Science is not the same as Atheism. Ask Einstein.

  • sexyzombiegirl

    No…CHIVE..No-ho-ho…please…don't make me read! :'(

  • drbman

    #21 love the briefs in the last segment!

  • supersport

    #2 Same for texting
    #18 I hope this isn't true.

    • Beeker

      If that's what you think about 18, then you are one of the 79%

  • Spelling Police

    #11 Not necessarily true. In my case racism was learned.

    • Spelling Police

      -through experience, that is.

    • unfortunate but true

      Agreed! Southern blacks are the most racist people you'll ever meet! I moved to South Carolina a few years ago and it's amazing how ignorantly ghetto and racist they are towards everybody! Yet they are the first one's to cry racism and expect to be treated special and better than everyone else!?

      Doubt me? come visit anywhere in the south east US and see for yourself.

      • amrith777

        Funny how that happens,isn't it?

      • dagg racist

        thats why I say: fuckem

        • Aristotle

          Y'all are some ignorant, racist motherfuckers.

  • Will Claire Pothier

    OMG I just got rick rolled #18

  • Master_Rahl

    #20 Somehow, my boss probably wouldn't find as much logic in this as I do. Apparently, the boss is wrong.

  • @Meggerz6971

    #11 is funny everytime.

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