Daily Morning Awesomeness (31 Photos)

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  • Jake

    Good Morning America!!! USN!!

    • MindiSue

      Hoooyahhh!

    • http://www.facebook.com/stroudpd Paul StroudSmash Stroud

      well played!!!

    • Eat this, fatso

      America will disintegrate in less than 100 years.

      • chesterdrawers

        Since when has thechive become exactly what the 'merca posts made fun of?

      • Kristen

        If that's the case, the rest of the world will disintegrate in less than 10.

    • Troll

      Shut up you dumb squid

      • chesterdrawers

        Squid can't type… Probably not a squid…

  • Still_Counts

    #6

    Pretty sure he was thinking to "tap-out"

    • Frank M

      FIND HER NOW!!!

      • Slartybartfast

        I think that might be Natalia Rogozina … not entirely sure though…

    • varlotto

      I would have sex with her

      • dumdumdum

        Noted.

      • The Dark Knight

        How charitable of you!

    • 3dzer0

      I'm pretty sure he was thinking to "tap-that"

    • Kevin

      20 bucks says he lost the fight…….

    • GuinessHangover

      He is now trying to figure out how to fight with a half chub…

  • redsolocup

    Dat Ass! #6

  • http://Thechive.com Mitt Romney

    #2 Wow, Ron Jeremy has really let himself go.

    • _DoC_

      "Ron Jeremy" is synonymous with "lets himself go"

    • this

      My first thought as well.

    • Specialized

      And still gets more ass than I do.

    • Dr_StrangePants

      So was this little critter hiding in his pants all these years as an undercover johnson?

      • Notme

        nothing little about his critter

    • gma

      Hah thought the same thing!

    • Tyler

      Died with his hand forever in the "rock on" position. That's how I want to go out.

    • Long live NY

      holy fucking shit! that guy is my tattoo artist! his name is dozer, he works at island tattoo in staten island NY

  • Lower

    #21 This man deserves a medal.

    • asdfghjk

      i dont know whats going on…

      • Dr_StrangePants

        Its an old trick that many a restaurant across Asia uses. Cover the plate in plastic wrap, Serve Food on it. Eat food. Then throw away the wrap. The restaurant doesn't need to keep more plates handy or hire a dishwasher for the next customer.
        —-that said, if you do this in your own home, man the fuck up and wash your plate.

    • asdfghjk

      is it a trashcan he is putting it into?

    • Captain Obvious

      How sterile is the outside of that bag?

    • thechevron

      yes he does
      and fuck you planet, have some more plastic

    • then you're screwed

      Until you need to microwave your meal.

    • HLe

      Yeah why don't you just eat out of your hand

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      Or the can it came in?

    • KFAD

      Not to mention the price of oil going up

    • http://rgplayer.blogspot.com/ RG Player

      You know there was such an invention called paper plates and bowls. They also got plastic forks and spoons. You know, for you lazy fucks.

    • Ispeakchive

      for being lazy and stupid?

    • Amigo

      disgustingly wasteful

    • Guest

      Successfully managing to pollute the environment because 2 seconds to rinse a bowl is too strenuous…

      • Tree

        C'mere and gimme a hug, li'l buddy.

    • Derek

      Because rinsing out a bowl is so difficult and time consuming?

    • JHL1

      I'm typing a reply.

  • LaurenGoMeow

    yesssss , #35 i need it. a pink tank would be nice for girls too

    • ouch

      HURRY WITH MEN'S TANK TOPS, ME BUFF, ME WANT TO SHOW OFF MERCLES

    • Woof

      Why is John holding a teddy bear?

      • OhioChiver

        Its actually a bear beer can cozy…in disguise. 😉

    • 6655321

      And for the gents.

  • Davilanonymous

    I love that you post these at midnight pst

  • Rusty Shackleford

    #27 He was practicing driving like an asshole like all Benz drivers and got carried away

    • Pops

      ***She was practicing*** A man would never do this to his Benz

    • backseatchiver

      I was in a car, screaming at my friend, while he did this exact same thing. It was like he went blind, did not see the post until he hit it.

      Best part, a cop was pulling into the lot behind us when it happened. One field sobriety test and 2 brethalyzers later, and the cop asked "Seriously, you're sober, WTF happened?"

      We still make fun of him for it. Just sent this off for another week of emails rehashing this stupidity. Thanks Chive.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brandon.beardslee Brandon Beardslee

    WTF is up with #19 getting kicked in the balls each time you sit down…not cool.

    • Frank M

      Pussyfoot?

    • lol

      i don't get it either

    • misschris

      Is it a tiny chair specifically for the cat? Maybe cause they like to attack feet? That's all I can come up with, and it sounds retarded…

  • big A

    #6 who is this!!!???! My gawd….

  • Jasey

    #21 not sure if genius or a slob. #27 definitely not a genius.

    • Ispeakchive

      Lazy and stupid

      • Kristen

        *chiver

        • http://emzilla.blog.com Emzilla

          Why are you here, if all you do is say mean things? You've called me a whore twice, and now you're calling all Chiver's lazy and stupid?
          <img src="http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/001/144/titsorgtfo.jpg"&gt;

          • KristenIsADude

            And here comes his "whore" insult again in 3..2…1….

            • http://emzilla.blog.com Emzilla

              Don't strain yourself, honey. I can wait. 🙂

          • http://emzilla.blog.com Emzilla

            I wasn't talking to you, dude. Scroll up a little bit, please. I was talking to Kristen. Who, actually, has replied to two of my comments with "whore". She said Chiver* to your post of "lazy and stupid".

            • Ispeakchive

              I sincerely apologize Emzilla, although I'd like to blame the pain meds, there is no excuse for my harsh response. I should pay more attention and will strive to do so in the future.

              • http://emzilla.blog.com Emzilla

                Shit happens. 😉 KCCO.

  • Catalyst

    #6 chive would you be so kind and find her I would really really appreciate it, thanks and KCCO.

    • Gav

      and a view from the boxer's angle would be greatly appreciated!

  • JustinFL

    #20 Duck Face Part Deux: Horse Face! Somewhere Sarah Jessica Parker rejoices.

    • wellduh

      OMG!!! OMG!!!!… Saying SJP looks like a horse… Never heard that before…Genius!!!!

      • Yep

        Obama Must Go!!!
        Obama Must Go!!!!

    • 6655321

      Whoa! That shit was so funny…well, never.

  • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

    #21 The environmentalists will like you.

    • Gonasiphaherpalitis

      For throwing out a plastic bag every time he eat's? I think not.

    • matt

      im far from an enironmentalist, but thats taking things to an extreme. i dont go out of my way to safe the planet – but thats almost going out of your way to harm it. just wash the dish.

      • AnthonySyl

        most people throw them out once they empty the contents of the bag out anyway, so he is getting an extra use out of it.

  • FarmBoy

    #20 find her

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Sarah Jessica Parker.
      I don't know about the short one, though.

      • http://www.facebook.com/erich.backhus Erich Backhus

        Comment of the day.

  • _DoC_

    #6 Oh my dear hubbity…

  • JustinFL

    Oh and #35….White Logo T + Water = Burn Your Bra Perfection

  • bwaggger

    #31, you think little man is watching michelle jenneke?

    • Captain Obvious

      I have some information about your son you might find interesting…

      • KFAD

        Bahahahahaha!

      • Jerry Sandusky

        Ummm…what's that?

  • Seldi84

    #1 Advertising done right.
    #26 Damn you Briantopuss
    #34 I know what i'll be doing Thursday night now.

  • Will

    #7

    HOME! I"M WALKING HOME LLOYD!

  • http://www.facebook.com/zack.mcnew Zachary McNew

    #24 awesome dog is awesome

    • Doug

      REEEAAALLL original

      • https://www.facebook.com/DannoRules Danno Maurer

        And you followed it up with that? How about something more clever like "clever chiver is clever"

        See what I did there?

  • Tiber_Septim

    #24 a self entertaining dog!, it doesn't get any easier than that #27 She must have been putting her make-up on

    • Bill57

      hey stan. yeah mans best friend would be awesome with makeup on in that racecar with racecar parts. that would be entertaining to myself cause i entertain myself by keeping ralaxed and chiving on with my favorite chiving chiverinos.

  • Mr. McGibblets

    #35 Is that your girl now dude??

    • tralfaz

      This comment will be deleted by the administrator.

      • Gonasiphaherpalitis

        whatcha say? watcha say?

    • backseatchiver

      Well done.

    • PDiddily420

      Nice super stalker binoculars Mac! They look like something out of a Naked Gun Movie.

  • kigero

    #9 "I swear I total changed once"

    • Suths5

      what is this from?

      • Markruffalo

        A little indie flick called "Avengers". He's constipation man.

      • NotReally

        Hellraiser.

        • kigero

          How has that not got more thumbs! Just spent five minutes laughing. You sir are a genius

  • Shadow Chiver

    #20 Still cute…

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