I do what I want (23 Photos)

Do you do what you want? Send your photos to macthechive [at] gmail [dot] com. Or don’t, whatever.

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  • suck me dry

    suck me all the way off

    • Barack Obama

      I'm Barack Obama and I support this comment!!!!

      • djewh

        #2 "At attention private(s)!"

      • Crack

        So we meet again, Barry…

        • Barack Obama

          Please, not until after the election….. I miss you soooo much… I don't know if I have the will power to resist….

          • Larry Sinclair

            I'll suck you off for some coke, just like old times..

    • motherfucker

      some people have no sense of humor……

  • Unfkngblvbl

    #6 I think they just crossed the streams.

    • tv_paul

      #22 No these guys crossed streams.

      • Unfkngblvbl

        I was referring to the taco as a Ghostbusters reference. You NEVER eat a taco like that.

        • suck it

          Yeah, Paul is slow. You will have to forgive him.

        • Taco King

          No, it's okay we don't mind how you eat us.

      • FunKiller

        Definite sword fight going on there.

  • swedishchefborkbork

    Is it polite to take the dishes out of the sink before you pee in it?

    • Very interesting...

      Depends on if they've been rinsed off yet.

      • FunKiller

        Also depends on who's house it is.

  • https://www.facebook.com/luis.valencia.3785 Luis Valencia

    Pink KCCO shirts on sale!! Grab one for your girl/wife

    • peanut3603

      I don't have a gf…… forever alone….. who am I kidding I love the single life.

    • shirtnonsense

      you know how i know youre gay?……yes, i said that played out, funny but dud of a line…but fuckin A…get a life….if ppl WANT a fuckin shirt, they know when theyre fuckin going on sale!! we dont need to be reminded to buy the "real" shirts so you can be cool. this fuckin shirt you Chive Nazis are pushing and pushing is getting annoying. i come to this site to laugh, see some T & A and enjoy it. I DONT NEED A FUCKIN SHIRT TO TELL ME IM A CHIVER OR NOT!! fuck. and if you tell me to just relax and KCCO…… FUCK YOU……im a chiver, just dont need to brag about it

      • Shiguy

        wow…..good lord man…easy there douche nozzle…oh and KCCO

      • KCCO

        Definitely the result of not being able to get a shirt! Hahaha, still jokes.

  • Unfkngblvbl

    #22 Nailed it.

    • https://www.facebook.com/timothy.peverley Timothy Peverley

      pisses me off to see guys do that.

      • FunKiller

        Urine for some bad news then!

    • https://www.facebook.com/jessica.bacon.14 Jessica Bacon


    • B Dub

      You know what I hate? I hate when people type LOL. Seriously, who actually laughs out loud and has to comment…..BUT…. As I scrolled down these guys pics I thought no way they did the last….. Yup, I F'n howled when I saw it. My wife was like WTF is so funny. The guys in #22 are awesome. Oh yeah…..LOL.

  • dreamweaver

    #10 Austin Powers action.

  • I-NeeD-$$

    #22 awesome!!

  • mike

    #13 makes no sense at all

    • motherfucker

      #13 fucking noob

      • SaveFerris

        Obviously he brought it inside because christmas slippers.

        • tralfaz


    • RYNO!

      He left it exactly where it was? I am confused how he changed anything at all. OHHHH, MAYBE just MAYBE he turned on a fucking lamp! Look at you, harnessing the power of the sun in tiny, plug-in-able form. You are truely a boss sir.

    • Alex

      I'm pretty sure it's because he brought the bike inside his house so he could look at it all the time instead of just seeing a picture of it on his desktop? I'm a rider and find this to be GAY.

      • hugh.m@rshall.us

        If you're using "GAY" to mean "stupid", you may be just as "GAY" as the bike owner.

      • Bob

        wait, so are you a fag or just bike curious?

    • indosilver

      No no no, he's saying that he was going to make it his desktop wallpaper and instead he brought it into his office! Then he also points out that he is wearing xmas slippers and not gay-boy shoes.

      • Scotto

        Maybe it is not the bike that is the point at all! maybe we are suppose to be looking for something else! like a hidden treasure or a mystical pearl of some sort!

      • Otter

        But both pics are taken in the same room. I don't get it either. Unless he decided to use the pic with the lights on rather than the b&w pic.

  • tv_paul

    #2 Put some clothes on or I'll have to arrest you young lady…wha…oh sorry fella carry on.

    • https://www.facebook.com/frederic.purenne Frédéric Purenne

      I love how the blur on the ass makes it like it's soldered shut! XD

  • Hrdwood

    #2 I wonder it he's saluting anywhere else…

    • LowerCase McGee

      You know how I know you're gay?

    • mshark

      He's saluting and standing at attention.


    #22 these guys man! these guys are the winners

    • Barack Obama

      You sir are a fucking idiot!!!


        Man, go get a job instead of trolling theChive all day.

    • Wisti

      Everytime I rescroll theirs I have to laugh again…

  • tv_paul

    #4 A scene from the new PGA future apocalyptic movie "Mad Maxfli"

  • http://informedguy.com/2012/08/30/i-do-what-i-want-23-photos/ I do what I want (23 Photos) | Infomormed guy | Only what matters!

    […] View the original here: I do what I want (23 Photos) […]

  • drewdeze

    #22 is High Larry Us!!

  • AkChive

    #13 douche bagg!!!

    • SaveFerris

      Yes.. let the hate flow through you

  • Derp

    #9 He bolos because YOLO

    • RYNO!

      He bolos because Carpe Diem. Get it right or pay the price.

    • TeamVenture

      Is that Shane from Walking Dead?

  • Barack Obama

    You will all bow down to me next year……. and I will fuck your mothers…

    • Jen

      omg, you are so fucking annoying. not funny, at all.

    • FunKiller

      My mother is a SAINT!!

      • Joe Biden

        Your mother is a whore

        • FunKiller

          Suck it Trebek!

      • Aaron

        No, Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!

        • FunKiller

          I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.

    • Larry Sinclair

      I still love you BHO, wink wink..

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!
      Four More Years!

  • mrkerrdontplay

    #21 lmao. moving furniture on the subway is always hilarious.

    • Alex

      Definitely picked that thing out of the trash

      • Al Sharpton

        You're only saying that because he is black.

        • guy


        • Alex

          He's black??

  • OK Chiver

    does #12 seem off to any one else

    • Lucky ducker

      like the top half of her body is grossly out of proportion to the bottom half? looking at where her pants meet her belly, she suddenly decreases in size – type of off? or something else?

      • Alex

        I was thinking the same thing when I saw this picture…. I'd still hit though

      • OK Chiver

        glad you see it too

    • FunKiller

      If you mean off because she's not naked and in my bed….then yes, it does seem very off.

    • IL Chive

      It looks like she's wearing clown pants.

    • https://www.facebook.com/chasingsparrows Kaitlyn Reese

      I keep thinking she looks like someone copy and pasted her head onto that body. Or something near the sort. Looks waaaaay off, but she does have a kickin' body! 😀

  • omgmybffjill


  • Whoopi_G

    #12 She's hot, let's get some MOAR.

  • Rod

    #8 why is there tin foil on base of tree?

    • FunKiller

      You really don't know?

    • http://www.facebook.com/nick.pugh.127 Nick Pugh

      Thats actually gravel around the tree, does look a little like tin foil though

  • DB Conor

    #15 Every parking sign has an implicit provision: "Except for vehicles with .50 Caliber mounts."

  • Mike D

    #17 None of the Target's near me have escalators

    • Alex


    • Nicnac

      Amazingly, not only does a Target near me have escalators, it has an escalator for your shopping cart so you can move with it between the two floors…

      • paddywack

        Do you live in Narnia?

    • boltz

      that's the target in mission valley (san diego)

      • Tim

        Or downtown Minneapolis

        • clever handle

          Or anyotherdamnplace. It looks exactly like the SuperTarget near me in Albany, CA.

          That one, just like the one in the picture, and presumably all other multi-story Targets with escalators, also has the cart escalator.

      • Med

        Brea, CA has em too

  • Macro

    #12 I'd like to enter her underground area.

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