Everything on the internet is true (31 Photos)

67 4

67 4
  • nefer

    Not first

    • üäö


  • Svand


  • waga


  • Emucratic

    #27 lmao nailed it.

    • Ora

      I would have guessed shemale porn

  • A BiPolar Guy

    #6 what? because I sometimes wore "flip flops" at the pool, liked to lick the cake batter spoon, and frequently wore a belt?

    • Justin

      Sandals? Not a white parent's torture device, more of a redneck or an ebony thing

    • Kato

      I call BS on this one cause mop and a two-by-four were not included in the list.

    • Jimbo

      I got the razor strap a few times when I was younger, the spoon/belt were like pillows in comparison after that lol

    • http://www.facebook.com/javier.negron.549 Javier Negron

      For me it was always that PS1 cord… Damn that Cord!!!

    • mittens

      I'll take "Things you beat children with" for 400, Alex.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/naughtydawgp nathybaby

        Got hit by my dad 3 times in my entire life. Never dared phuck with him again!

        • FunKiller

          It's different when you have a dad that just seems to take life out on you and your brothers for no apparent reason!

    • Craigery

      Can't tell if you're joking or not getting the joke.

    • _DoC_

      You must have been a spoiled only child. All 3 items are for one purpose only…

      • jackson

        cause only spoiled kids dont get beaten with household objects

        • yesterday

          It's called a hiding you bone head. Nobody beats their kids with those kind of diminutive household utensils. We use golf clubs for that. Aggressive yet still classy.

      • beasty

        Ohhh, now I get it. Never had the flip flop. They left out the "switch"

        • FunKiller

          Yea, should've been a book instead of a flip flop…..flip flops don't hurt!!

    • He!, he...heeee

      Ha yes, my mother was a flipflop jedi; she used to throw those things and by; my love of lazy, that thing would turn the corner and land soal first on my ass. Love you mom!.

    • Hurts to Sit

      I got to wooden spoon and belt, but never a flip flop. It all changed when my Gramps passed down the wooden paddle, nicknamed "Betsy," to my Dad to help raise me right. Three generations have been whooped by old Betsy now.

    • Jared

      Anyone else get the Windmill ass whoopin, where mom has you by the hand, and your going in circles to try and avoid the smack, and end up with a red ass cheek and a twisted arm..

      I learned to be a good, responsible, honest, and respectful man, all due to a no bull shit mom, and a quickdraw flip flop.

      • BahahahaChivette

        Could not stop laughing!

    • Iceman2509

      I got the fly swatter without the end. That really hurt.

    • Lamememe

      My childhood was awesome, that is why i meet up with those things.

      • Rafael_RS

        so true
        don`t regret anything and I deserved when the beating took place

      • R J

        Oh so true, but really it was getting CAUGHT having an awesome childhood that caused me to experience those things, among others.

  • http://www.facebook.com/shaowei307 Krystal Shao-wei Young

    misspelled the title, me thinks

  • The Guy

    #16 So much truth! When ever thinking about wanting your ex back, a good FAP will straighten out those ridiculous thoughts.

  • A BiPolar Guy

    #10 and you can support the troops without having to support a particular war, or even war itself

    • common sense

      I agree with the pic but I don't think that it applies to what you said about supporting the troops. That is like saying "I support the Indianapolis Colts but I don't want them to win their football games, or I don't want them to play football." Clearly that person doesn't support the Colts. But it's OKAY. You don't have to "support" the troops in that way if it is against what you believe. Just don't be pressured into saying it and trying to justify it.

      • LawnGuyLand

        To use your analogy:
        I love the Colts, but they should stick to football and leave the basketball to the Pacers. When the Colts owners force them to play basketball it ticks me off. In fact they should just leave the game basketball game and go get ready for some football because that is what they are really meant to play.

        • The Troops

          Hey guys. What'd I miss? You talking bout me?

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      And you can be proud of America without having to believe it is a perfect country.

      • Fryy

        America is not a country. Check Wikipedia, for instance

      • Hugh

        America, are the people…the United States is the guberment.

        • Fryy

          America is a continent. The United States is a country. It has a government, composed by different representatives.

    • thatguy

      Sure why not start an internet fight…

      People who say that do not support the troops. You don't dislike the troops personally, you don't want anything bad to happen to them and in fact, probably hope they come home safely. This is not equivalent to supporting the troops. Supporting the troops means you hope they accomplish their mission which is to win whatever conflict they might be in. I can't say I support women wearing clothes while at the same time I am hoping their clothes fall off.

      • http://www.facebook.com/brad.irwin.921 Brad Irwin

        I'm a troop and I dont pick the fights we are in. I joined before any of the current conflicts, whether I agree with them or not it is my job now. I joined to serve you. If you cant support me trying to support you then you can GFY. You dont deserve me out there protecting your beliefs.

        • Fryy

          Third Reich soldiers followed orders as well

          • ygkh

            fuck off, all the way off..

            • Fryy

              did my manners offend you, madam? I don't think so. It is truth that hurts you.

              • JinGJ

                Go fry yourself on a power pole.

        • guest

          Brad, Thank you for your service, and may you return home safely!

        • agro087

          Sorry mate, I respect you as a person, but you're not protecting my beliefs. And I don't have anything nice to say about the people who send people like you to wars to catch some imaginary people. We all now why are you there. Sad but true.

      • brucelee

        So you're saying you can't support someones decision to become a soldier even though you might disagree with a certain war by a certain country?


    • Iceman2509

      Isn't this what they were saying at the DNC last night? We all belong to the government?
      That is BS. You don't have to love the government. Ones country is much more than the government.

      • Iceman2509

        It seems I read that wrong. My bad, I agree with that statement.

  • ChivetteKellie

    #13 ftw.

  • Verbal_Kint

    #31 if only this PSA started 20 years ago, before they all mutated into human form…

    • Jimbo

      Hooray for the participation generation! Giving kids rewards for losing! I wonder where the sense of entitlement came from…

    • GatOne


      • FunKiller

        Worked in my house growing up.

    • chris043

      I was thinking the same thing. Should have been an Afternoon Special.

      • tv_paul

        Great idea, at the end you would've had Corey Feldman come out and say "Kid's don't turn out like me".

    • Jared

      Would have a great generation of kids growing up if we were allowed to beat other peoples children when they act like little asshats.

  • Trav1121

    #22 Hockey is for real men. The other sports are full of pansies! Now… Let the hate flow through you…

    • Obviously

      Hockey has pansies too, they're called the Vancouver Canucks

      • MUpde

        Best. Reply. Ever. GO KINGS GO!!!

        • a-nom

          You're fans cheered for Bettman when he presented the cup…first time that's happened in ever. Congrats on the win though, definitely deserved.

      • Patches

        Possibly the best comment ever.

      • sucITphaneuf

        Canuck haters everywhere even on the chive, I guess it sucks looking up at our logo in the standings.

        • WhompWhomp

          and how many cups has that got you?

          • Notknowing

            It don't matter. My Canucks still beat your team… Dumbass.

            • lolololol

              2 girls, NO cup… Sedin twins//

              • _Moose_

                That's hilarious!

            • a-nom

              Not mine hahahahaha!!

      • Casucks

        Best. Reply. Ever.

      • Glove

        Thats gold

      • Mel_Gibson

        And Sidney Crosby

        • a-nom

          I can't hate his skill, but his skill is overridden due to the fact he cries like a b****h…constantly

    • Cap'n

      Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, not all of um' ! Rugby.

    • Boooo

      Real men glide across ice…while wearing all that protective gear? I'm kidding, I just really like bait.

    • Just Sayin'

      It's turf toe not toe turf.

    • a-nom




      • _Moose_

        Agree, except for the Bruins part.

    • jimjamma

      adrian peterson tore ligaments in his knee, he didn't have turf toe.. they're slightly different

      • Mel_Gibson

        http://www.sportstvjobs.com/resources/hockey-play… even though its baseball and not football it just proves how badass hockey players are

        • bczu

          Which sport has players shooting themselves in the chest to commit suicide only to keep their brains intact for scientific research?

          • Shockteck

            I am not sure but two Hockey players committed Suicide last summer?

            • wally

              dumb ass comment man and you bczu, there is no other sport that asks a man to go out and fight 82 times a year when needed by the team, even when he knows hes going to lose half of them. Basketball and Baseball are full of million dollar pussies that won't play through injury, football on the other hand like hockey will play through a bad injury unless its a head injury

              • WallysNoFun

                Well, that solves it. Thanks Wally! You can go ahead and shut down the Internet now fellas!!

          • bczu

            Oh and Byron Leftwich won a championship game in college with a broken leg. Had to be carried to the line after every play.

    • Cdn V smasher

      Bettman is a douche < we need hockey here in the North or sh*t is gunna hit the fan here in Canada

  • Epitomizer

    #10 Amen.

  • Wymann G. Prickmore

    My first time making the first page of the comment section… this is so much pressure…

    • Lefty

      You're doing fine. Just be sure not to write anything stupid.

    • brucelee

      Close enough

    • PDiddily420

      Way to make the least of your opportunity!

    • @lackofabetter

      Nailed it

  • Craigery

    #18 Giant shoe, tiny crocodile, or bad photoshop?

    • https://www.facebook.com/kmills.designservices Kevin Mills

      it's Shaq's croc

  • SolidusSnake420

    #31 is amazing haha no children haha

    • https://www.facebook.com/herecomesdan.thebadness.onemangoonsquad Dan Peterson

      I doubt the term "hipster" will be relevant by the time this kid is of age

      • Drew

        Neither is "yuppie" anymore but those bastards are still around.

  • OhioChiver

    #6 Yeah, I had my ass beat by all of these and more. And quite franky I think I had a great childhood and grew up just fine. :)

    • rob

      I agree, if you did things to find the uses of these and the matchbox racetracks, a willow switch or piece of rubber hose, then you did have a great fun childhood.

    • VFR dude

      I second that. Plus, the absence of these three elements, can sometimes lead to #31

    • Jared

      I laugh at parents who dont discipline their kids.

      There discipline
      " Im disapointed in you, now tell me whats bothering you, and then go have some quiet time "

      Kids Reaction
      says " oh im sorry, im under so much pressure" thinks " fuck you, I do what I want, I win "

    • Dutch

      substitute the back of a hairbrush for the flipflop, and it's pretty true. plus, kids that didn't get disciplined grow up to be worthless, disrespectful douches.

  • Craigery

    #22 It's called "turf toe". And unlike a cut on a hockey player's face, those other injuries WILL affect the player's ability to play.

    • joe shabadoo

      its called a joke, bro

      • Shockteck

        All sports have tough guys and divers. I live and breath Hockey but as long as we have shit hole teams like the Vancouver Canucks and players like Mike Reberio there will always be a black mark on the Sport.

        • Notknowing

          Obviously not a 'Nucks fan….Aaaaawwwww did the big bad Canucks beat up on your favorite team last year? Is that why you are so bitter?…….baby.
          Canucks rule!

          • a-nom

            Dude, how do you have so much gusto when all you won was the presidents trophy the past two seasons? gotta love the troll up-nucks fans…get over it. No one in Canada likes you…

            • Shockteck

              LOL I love it because I am Canadian from Sarnia Ontario and I have been a Kings fan for 26 years!!! I still got my little purple and yellow Luc Robitaille Jersey How did you guys do this year??? I forget because the first round of the Kings playoff run was over so quick. Enjoy your presidents cup Loser. Thanks for not Rioting this year! CANUCKS SUCK!

    • HopeMarie8998

      Haha, "No one in Canada likes you", that made me burst out laughing XP

    • http://www.facebook.com/mike.buchta Mike Buchta

      May I please slap a puck at your face, at around 110mph?

      • Craigery

        Sure, then let's see how well you can throw a 90 mph fastball with an open sore on your hand.

        • http://www.facebook.com/mike.buchta Mike Buchta

          I'm sorry Craigery if I offended you. I was kidding. I hope you can accept my apology.

    • aleksandur

      …because last time I got hit in the nose, I was just fine.

      • Craigery

        Last time I got hit in the nose, it didn't affect my ability to ice skate. But a blister on your hand will affect your ability to throw, a jammed finger will make it hard to dribble, pass and shoot a basketball, and a turf toe WILL make it really hard to run. The time the player is out isn't about the pain, it's about the ability to perform.

        • wally

          last time I checked you can still throw a ball with a blister, yeah it may hurt a little for 150 pitches but you pitch through it unless your a million dollar pussy. For a jammed finger in basketball you can still dribble, shoot, dunk,and pass with a bit of tape on some fingers, please million dollar babies now a days. Sounds like your the type of guy who gets a paper cut and not go to work because of it

        • dawgbone98

          Chances are it would have impacted your ability to see, which would also impact your hand-eye coordination (which is kind of important in hockey).

          • wally

            hes only ice skating

    • a-nom

      Just going to use this example "…Patrice Bergeron suffered a partially torn oblique muscle in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference first-round series against the Washington Capitals and said Friday that he had played despite a considerable amount of pain." That means he played 4 more games with this injury.

      • Craigery

        The picture in question shows a guy with a cut on his nose, not a partially torn oblique.

        • wally

          his nose was on his cheek

      • Moopy

        Every Sport has its tough guys who play through insane injuries. High school football player playing with a broken neck, NFLers with broken legs, CFLer with a burst testicle. I would have to agree with Craigery on this one, although he clearly takes things too seriously and i would not enjoy ever having a conversation with him.

        • a-nom

          And I agree with you, all sports have their tough players. Chive On brotha

    • Jared

      Pay me that much fucking money and Ill play with a freshly amputated limb.

      Football, Baseball, Basketball, all a bunch of celebrities, not athletes. Im not even a Hockey fan, but they are without a doubt tougher and more badass then all the rest.

      • bczu

        Byron Leftwich completed, and won a championship game in college with a broken leg. Had to be carried to the line after every play.

        • Beev

          Bobby Baun took a slapshot to the ankle, instead of getting it checked he wrapped it up tight, finished the game, refused x-rays, played the next game and won the Stanley cup. Then got his ankle looked at, which was badly broken.

  • tv_paul

    #4 Eating raw cookie dough is a God-given right, I fear not the wraith of salmonella.

    • a-nom


  • demt

    #6 that damn wooden spoon….

    • Red

      It was the belt for me.

      I got more than one red ass from it.

  • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

    How? #6

    Strolling the beach

    Stirring chowder

    wearing pants

    • Ukulelemike

      Sounds like a pretty sweet life, after all!

  • Mother Pus Bucket

    #6 – Words I never wanted to hear: "Go get me a switch!"

  • katastrophe89

    #17 ALL. THE. TIME.

  • Tillman61

    #1 Wow. I wonder how many Internet Travelers have actually tried that already?

    • Fred Flintstone

      I doubt they made it this far in the comments…

  • Matt

    #31 TRUTH

  • Versari

    #25 i just busted out laughing!

    • NotMe

      I was on a call with a guy with a thick Indian accent who claimed to be something like Bill Smith – l swear to God. He asked me my name and I said "Krishnan Patel". Got him to laugh out loud. We went through the rest of the call with me calling him Bill and him calling me Krishnan, or maybe it was Patel. Either way…

    • ben

      I still don't get it

      • Stupid Monkey

        wait "jeff" will explain it to you ….

    • Master_Rahl

      I was kinda hoping he'd say his name was Atmanand aka "Gregory"

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