Children’s books that will more than likely destroy their childhood (26 Photos)


  • Children’s books that will more than likely destroy their childhood (26 Photos) | Infomormed guy | Only what matters!

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  • asssde




  • Trav1121

    #2 Oh yeah? I just thought he was fat. See, Ladies? The mistaken rounded belly can happen to men too and this book is proof!

    #19 … it can eat for a day, but if you teach a cyclops to catch a kitten… haha

    • Sad Panda

      … then there are no more kittens?

  • Harry Sidhu

    #10 gold!! Hahaha

  • Troll slayer 9000

    #1 – where's Pauls fat ass to save the day?

  • @sambeauch

    My best friends wife gave me a book. Weekly reader books presents The muffin muncher written by Stephen cosgrove illustrated by robin James. It's a childrens book

    • loves sammiches

      I think your best friend's wife was hitting on you, dude. Just sayin'.

  • abakala

    #15 He also wouldn't have any rhythm.

    • Mikey

      No if he was Asian then he'd be good at the violin.

  • MrBala

    I can always depend on the CHIVE to give me a good laugh! Thanks!

  • ricky bobby

    Go the fuck to sleep by Samuel l Jackson

    • FatherOfTheYear

      I own that book and it's the FUNNIEST shit you will ever read, Samuel J didn't write it though.

    • Matt
  • Oh well

    So, when did pedophilia become funny? I guess I'll get a lot of thumbs down for this, but some things aren't funny and go a bit too far.

    • Topher

      suuup guys im Topher…..

    • jewels

      I agree!!!! Especially as last week… a creepy pedo was watching my son and his friend have a water fight. Thanks to the police for quickly responding to my call and he was arrested!

      • Not a pedo

        Was he doing something lewd? 'Cause if not, remind me never to walk by your house if you son is playing outdoors.

        • jewels

          yes, actually he was… hence, he was arrested!

      • Josh

        i agree with not a pedo and help me understand how u got pedophile out of any of those pics im thinkin if u look at a pic of a kid and the first thing u think of is pedophile something aint right in your head

        • Oh Well

          I dunno, maybe because of #9, #10, #14, #16, #20, and #22. Did you even look at the pictures posted? You may not agree with my point-of-view, but don't make it seem like I'm the one out in left field. It wasn't just one or two innuendoes, but the main theme on this posting. I love the Chive and love to laugh just like everyone else who comes here, but I am finding it crazy that I'm getting negative feedback for not laughing at child molestation jokes. I even like dark humor at times, but is nothing sacred anymore? Eh, I don't know why I even bother…

          • iChive

            @Oh well, I am shocked that you write humor yet fail to understand the deeper meaning of humor in terms of morality (I apologize to the rest of you for killing the joke with a tl;dr buzzkill):

            1. It's satire (i.e. comedy gold). Read the website. He is spoofing the "everything is 'Leave-it-to-Beaver' swell," theme of 50's/60's era children books. That generation bred Jeffrey Dahmer, Charles Manson, the Cold War, and [shudder] hippies.

            2. It's funny in its irony–children's books forced into pertinent adult themes is an "out-of-place" humor that is in the vein of the "wow, didn't expect that" comedy of Will Ferrell (et al.).

            3. Comedy takes the sting from charged topics. By laughing, none of us are expressing agreement. We're condemning the ridiculousness of it (hence, cartoons). Wouldn't the world be a better place with more belly laughs?

            4. When you censor your jokes, you underestimate the intelligence of your audience (you really think Chivers are ambivalent about child rape?) and limit the range and ethical scope of your humor. You want to stick to talking puppets and g-rated one-liners? Fine. Meanwhile "risque" comics will bring light to the underbelly of society in a way that allows people to examine those issues without fear–because they're laughing.

            5. By challenging people to disagree with you ("thumb me down for this"), you're welcoming negativity. That doesn't invite humor, positive discussion, or even amiable banter. It kills the topic and effectively silences your intended "anti-pedophilia" point.

            Sorry to take you to task, my friend. I concur that very little is sacred anymore, but I strongly disagree that humor should suffer as a result. KCCO, and I appreciate your taking a strong moral stance. Let's laugh about it sometime.

    • Way Too Serious

      Everything's funny if you have a sense of humor. It's a joke? You's on the wrong site.

      • Oh well

        I actually write comedy for a living, thank you. There are some things that just shouldn't be made into a joke, but that's just my opinion. It's kind of sad that there's nothing sacred in society anymore, and comedy has gone to the lowest common denominator. Oh well, just my thoughts. I didn't expect any different from the crowd here, and by the looks of the negative votes, I was right. Not gonna lose any sleep over it or anything, but it's just a sign of the times. Peace.

    • Sweet Caroline

      Did you by any chance attend a football clinic at Penn State?

    • dave

      Much of the best humor deals with the darker subjects of life, it's how we cope with it. You've never heard of "gallows humor"? You obviously don't watch much comedy, dark humor is everywhere.

    • dirtysteve99

      Denying the holocaust is ok with you though?

      Chimps make everything better.

  • temujin1234
  • @PaulSkoney

    #22 Can I get a copy?

  • DrWar


  • Chris Cross

    #7 laughed loud enough for someone to be staring at me right now.

  • 29er

    #13 and #14 I laughed hard at. The small print on the bottom is priceless.

    • saltytrey

      I had an old copy of #14. It's a "Leave it to Beaver" book.

  • miles Philpott

    This is one of the funniest posts I have ever seen

  • Canucks_Rule

    #5 – oh lil zippy, that rapscallion!! lol!!

    chiver or chivette from bc?? join the twitter group that's for you!! –>

    • Oil

      Yeah help join the cause to trash the city when they lose a hockey game

    • Notknowing

      It should have been titled "Zippy-bum-fucker is not a Homo".
      Agreed. Canucks Rule! from a Victoria Chiver.

  • crustybubblechunks

    #17 That's not creepy at all :S

    • Beev


    • ThatGuy

      I immediately thought of The Green Mile. Which sort of reverses what the title was intended to mean.

  • Verbal_Kint

    Dont forget these Dr Seuss classics…

    1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch

    2. Who Shat in the Hat?

    3. Horton Hires a Ho

    4. Fox in Detox

    5. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert

    6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax

    7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day

    8. Your Colon Can Moo–Can You?

    9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil

    10. The Cat in the Blender

    11. Are You My Proctologist?

    12. Yentl the Lentil

    13. My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket

    14. Aunts in My Pants

    15. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff!

    16. Horton Fakes an Orgasm

    17. The Grinch's Ten Inches

    • Notknowing

      Wait. Aren't some of those porn flix?

  • KCO617

    #23 is fucking incredible

  • Steve Grenier

    These make my childhood books seem lame in comparison.

  • @shiteattinggrin

    I love it!!!

  • Needing a Trollop

    One i dont get is Clifford the big red dog…If i was a little kid and seen a dog the size of my house id be scared shitless!

  • Logs

    Everyone poops… On my chest

    Cloudy with a chance of throbbing cock

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