There’s a genius at work here. A wonderful, wonderful genius (30 Photos)

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  • Static

    #30 is genius! lol

    • ICryWhenIPoop

      Until someone else comes along with another one and puts it right under your bike, effectively locking your bike up the pole…

      • Static

        touché

        • Hunter_BZ

          Or carrying a device that probably weighs at the very least 10lbs.

      • TrueDatStory

        I'd try to find a way to steal it, just to erase that smug smile off his face.

        • Josh

          just shimmy up the pole

    • MonkeyMadness

      It's genius until 4 or 5 other guys decide to use the same device and park under you making it impossible for you to get your bike down.

    • Jeffybaby

      It's genius until 8 or 9 other guys decide to use the same device and park under you making it impossible for you to get your bike down.

      • Thatguy

        Yeah…It's genius until 12 or 13 other guys decide to use the same device and park under you making it impossible for you to get your bike down.
        Read more at http://thechive.com/2012/09/18/theres-a-genius-at

        • Kyle

          Ya it it's genius until 30,000-40,000 people try to put there bike on the same pole and then riots break out in the streets, your tv is stolen, and you can't find a bathroom to shit in peace.

          • some guy

            That escalated quickly

    • FunKiller

      Yea genius until about 20 – 25 people use the same thing and put their bikes under yours, making it impossible to get yours.

      • BlueLizzardGame

        It is only genius if you are the 26th person and you put your bike right at the bottom so that no one else can get their bikes down.

        • Crazy_Jake

          Great till a truck comes along and crashes in the pole and takes out 26 expensive bikes.

    • bma

      Yeah, until someone else comes along a puts his/her bike below yours.

      • BlueLizzardGame

        Haha, then your bike wasn't right at the bottom now was it?

        • loves sammiches

          But then someone comes along and steals your bike because it was too low.

          • BlueLizzardGame

            If you wanted to screw people over by putting your bike at the bottom, you deserve having it stolen.

    • Boomer Sooner

      Honestly as a straight man, I am too. The internet is full of free porn, and when I am feeling like a fap, I utilize actual porn sites. I don't need to be forced to be horny all the time hah.

      • BlueLizzardGame

        Who stole your bike?

    • a-nom

      Ya, until someone comes and comments about the fact that someone else would come and put there bike below yours…and so on…and so on…and so on…..

    • Visitohr

      Or the battery is out of juice.

    • McSerious

      Thing is though I, like any good chiver, am not a thief… But if I see someone's done that my mind would just say "Challenge accepted!" and I'd try soooo fucking hard to get that down haha

    • Steve

      What happens if you lose the remote?

      • Peasoupdoughboy

        What's a bike?

  • christiantf9

    #18 ahhhhhhh college

    • Cory

      yeah, but it looks like they forgot the most important thing- you should wrap the iron with aluminum foil. cleans up easier and you don't have to worry about the chemicals from the dress shirt you ironed being cooked into your sandwich.

      • christiantf9

        mmm this is true.

    • Michele

      What college student owns an iron?

    • Adam

      Oh SIU. . . . . . you do me proud. . . . . . .

    • Yeah

      Mr. Mom?

  • LOLwhatamidoing

    cool! not to be party popper, but thank goodness no practically naked women in this post

    • yourespellingbadly

      i didn't come to the chive to not see practically naked women

      • Elmer Beck

        thats you'respellingbadly

        • John

          What are you even trying to say?

  • Jdlr

    #24 the nightmare before christmass….
    is that how you do it?

    • Spelling Police

      Except you spell "Christmas" correctly.

      • ddd

        poop…ass…

      • 6655321

        That would be called a joke.

    • Beev

      Lord of the Flies

    • http://thechive.com/ bkfrijoles

      Green Mile

    • BuhBacon

      Sea biscuit

    • Tiber_Septim

      Broke Back Mountain

    • J. D. Rage

      the blob

    • AllanA

      Hellraiser

    • crustybubblechunks

      Splash

    • Eze_Kiel

      Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

      • upy3rz

        My Best Friends Wedding…Am i doing this right?

    • loves sammiches

      Oh God, You Devil

    • Brian

      Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

      Shocked that one wasn't on the board.

    • assman

      Unbreakable

    • not now

      The empire strikes back

    • qmpion

      127 Hours

    • random

      The Day After

    • Haw

      Here Comes The Boom

    • Goldfish

      The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

    • tipsybitch!

      I did this before,except i wrote describe your sex life wuth a movie title

    • Piman

      Children of the corn

    • jack

      The Longest Yard

    • KISSmyLUVGUN

      Twilght! Original and all the sequels, the bowl is full of them.

    • An0nym0u5

      There will be blood

    • Work from home

      Hairy and the Hendersons?

    • Mighty Joe

      Mighty Joe Black

    • kevguy

      Up

    • Stupid is

      Finding Nemo

    • M.C.

      28 Days Later

    • damaged

      paranormal activity

    • JayC

      Gone with the wind

    • 6655321

      The loss of sexual innocence.

    • C-dog

      Apocalypse Now

    • Holden McGroin

      Gremlins

    • damag

      flushed away

    • flute

      friday

  • HOOK^ ^ ^ ^ ^

    Genius is a tranny with a HUGE COCK

    • Where's HOOK

      I think this dude ran off the real HOOK.

  • johnny

    #21 i'm in college, and this might change my life

    • DeepFriedBacon

      This post has a big theme…geniuses are really fat and like stoner food

    • Dan

      you're in college….and this might change your life?? you really need to get out more.

  • poop

    #5 Oh Asians

    • bmak

      So instead of holding up your arms…you have to read backwards?

      • Alt3

        I think you need to rethink how you think mirrors work.

      • ps86

        lol not so much backwards as upside down, but yea, wouldn't work

  • DethPwny

    #12…Already exists, about 100 times…sorry bro

    • chiver

      that was "Bare Naked Ladies" marketing strategy

    • Bpooch

      Tried to get my buddy to put up a sign, "free golf tomorrow" at his golf course. Free golf is always tomorrow when someone asks for it. He doesn't get it.

    • meat.

      Free Beer & Chicken

    • heppy

      Yeah, that was one hilarious in 1984 when I heard it for the first time.

    • Gutter

      Or "Everyone Gets Laid" from PCU

  • LOLwhatamidoing

    #30 omg i want that! yess for once no almost naked women on a post 😛

    • Steve

      You shouldn't be here if you don't want to see almost naked women.
      You should probably go play Wii tennis or jump off a cliff.

    • Yep

      omg…Obama Must Go.

    • Crazy_Jake

      Then why are you even here? Isnt there some rainbow website you should be looking for?

      • cambo125

        On Chive and don't like scantily clad women. There's another site you might like. Theberry.com check it out.

    • Alicia

      I'm pretty sure that everyone knows that there will be half naked women in every post and if you have a problem with it, maybe you should just go check out theberry. Usually only half naked men over there.

  • dannyb

    Fuck the cop from fridays Dar!!prick!!

  • barefootjourney

    #3 Until they set their computers to keep calling you back anytime or all the time because they already have your phone number…

  • Dan

    #25 would literally solve my everyday problem at work…plus it would save wawa some money from me taking about 5 forks a day when i got it to just hit the ATM machine or buy a drink.

    • Dan
      • Dan

        thank you…from one Dan to another.

    • p.rock

      Wait but if you'll keep these at your desk and not lose them or throw them away, why don't you just do the same thing…with actual utensils?

    • Holden McGroin

      Why you say machine twice?

    • Paul from the gump

      Big ups to WaWa from a transplanted Philly guy.

  • Masturbating Monkey

    What kind of F'ed up rig is that????

    #17

    • Kristen

      Black

    • Work from home

      Jerry Rig

    • guard

      Lol. Almost got me.

  • runswithbeer

    #20 I have got to have one of these!!

  • Shepard Wong

    #28 Shouldn't that one fade to black……

    • Elmer Beck

      not cool

      • Alex

        too soon?

    • Lucky ducker

      It's like they put a camera inside his coffin. how creepy.
      sorry heaf

  • Cornrow Wallace

    #22 Way better things to dip in chocolate than orange… never understood the chocolate-orange combo.

    • Alex

      BLASPHEMY
      To be fair only good with 'Terry's Chocolate Orange' not sure if they have it elsewhere ('m from the UK)
      But it is HEAVENLY

      • Yeah

        Alex, you said heavenly as an adjective. I hope for you nuts sake you are a woman.

  • BEANS

    #24 The Great Escape

    • Haw

      There Will Be Blood

    • jimmyjames2

      Fast and Furious

    • Work from home

      Cannonball Run

  • Carl

    #25 Because real plastic cutlery is so expensive.

    • discofarmer

      take your plastic cutlery and go fork yourself… this is brilliant

      • Pretty Smile

        Nope, gay……

        • John

          These utensils, on a scale of 1 to gay, are at the same number you are.

    • A.B.

      Not expensive but not always handy. I remember a friend not able to save her leftovers because she'd been put on a plane leaving at 5 in the morning, so she scarfed down her food (it was either Mexican or Italian, can't remember) with a pen.

  • NobleChive

    #1. I've been doing this for years now, apparently society has decided to ketchup.

    • I see things

      I see what you did there

    • KCCO410

      that there that you did, i seen it…

    • HatBomb

      I see what you did there.

      • Kristen

        You are all retards.

        • ZigZigler

          Eat shit, Kristen.

    • Blahblahblah

      Be a bit humble, no need to relish in your idea.

      • Eric_Le_Awesome

        I wish I could think of something as clever as you guys, but I mustard after my large meal.

  • Klyph

    #7 Forever Alone

    • caleb

      This wasn't funny the first 4 times I saw it. AND, it's ridiculous. Just get a goddamned hand held mirror and stare into the bathroom mirror to see the reflection of the handheld. I've been doing it for 20 years and am what some people call, mentally retarded.

      • mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

        Is that some kind of ad? Cus its been on every post including FLBP…

  • Forest

    #6 postulate confirmed! frustrates me every single time.

    • Vay

      Even MORE Schrodinger-like: Werewolves of London ad that damn Kid Rock song.

      • Dead cat in a box

        EVEN MORE Schrodinger-like: "Livin on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi and "Is this Love" by Whitesnake

    • _Moose_

      An angel already loses its wings every time Ice Ice Baby plays; now a cat dies, too.

  • IrishInNJ

    #2 is obviously fake right? #7 can be retired please. Seen that one WAY too many times. #30 I am currently searching to buy one.

    • HatBomb

      I'm currently searching for one to put under yours… uh oh…

      • Crazy_Jake

        Well played..

    • John

      How would that be an obvious fake? I would think it's common sense to use the sun's heat to cook meals where electricity probably doesn't exist.

      • IrishInNJ

        The concept I have no doubt is real but that picture is fake…the grills are hovering about 6" off the ground, there is shadow behind the grill and yet no sun (or shadow below the women) the smoke goes left from one grill and right off the other. The women were given twigs to turn food on a hightech solar powered grill? Come on…

        • Paul from the gump

          Wow. How long is your lunch break?

    • _Moose_

      #2 they were developing something like this to curb deforestation in sub-Saharan Africa when I was in country there. That was – holy shit – over 15 years ago. Makes sense that they looked more like metal boxes then.

    • kashakesh

      #30 isn't on the conrad site – must be the good ol' fake lure trick…

    • Sam

      #1…why would it be fake?

      #2…oooh…sorry to hear about that lag man.

      #3…yeah, gotta admit, thats pretty awesome.

  • Brother Maynard

    #9 I just came.

    • billy2hats

      got to try this

      • HatBomb

        Maybe with two Rolos, chocolate and caramel…

  • TubularTom

    #24 Blood Sport….. c'mon man!

    • Verbal_Kint

      Dude, maybe lay off the Taco Bell…

      • Idk

        It's chipotle not taco bell. Haven't you seen south park?

  • Pretty Smile

    #7 Or you could just pay 20 buck for a haircut

    • I don't know

      Why the fuck would you pay $20 for someone to use clippers on your hair?

    • fun with drugs

      this is too much work and effort. plus haircuts are only 10 $ where i go and the asian lady does a good job

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