It’s Monday, you could use some motivation (25 Photos)

  • Paula_

    Being ffFFFfJjjJjJjiIiIiIIIiIiIiIIIIIiiIiIIiIIiIIiIIiIIiihhHHHHAAAaaaARRRSSTTTHH!!!1111!!!!! motivates the crap out of me!

    Ahhhhhhh….. was it good for you too John?

    – Fan testimonial: "Go away! It's not Norma stitz – JSJ"

    • savagecabbage

      So when we going out paula?

      • Paula_

        What's this 'out' thingy?

        – Fan testimonial: "Now I hate Paula as much as the next guy, but you gotta admit … this one was funny."

        • savagecabbage

          It's whatever you want it to be… If you want it can involve getting my thingy out. (Sorry that was the height of distaste)

          • Cecil

            Double win man. Double win.

            Who the hell is Paula?

    • BlueLizzardGame

      Try activia like #24.

    • Vent187

      You are a douche Paula

  • SteveMcQueen1

    #24 hilarious! What was this lady thinking?!?!

    • MMM

      You'd be surprised where people do it. Having worked in retail for many years it's more common than you'd like to think.

      But every time I've heard it happen it's always been: What? The? Fuck?

    • @Slave2anMG

      Something like…."URGH…CRAMPS. GOTTA….DUMP….NOW…"

    • Emily Celeste Gosling

      I watched this like 10 times trying to figure out wtf she was thinking! Who does that??

      • AdamBaldick

        To think you have to go THAT BAD.. that must have been one of her worst days

      • Pancho

        …Chivettes do…

    • Legion

      That's going on the bucket list.

    • jr.

      Don't shit where you eat. I guess now we need to start reminding some people to not shit where you buy the food you're going to eat? Fuck these people!

    • savagecabbage

      When i worked in a supermarket years ago, two 80 year old dudes jacked eachother off in the drinks aisle… True story.

    • hoonyar

      she forgot to place the li'l flag in it

    • Biggus Diccus

      I've never had to do a clenup out in the store but I've come accross some horrible bathroom damage. The worst was a shotgun blast of shit all over the toilet, walls and floor. Not as bad as the shit 'writers' I've heard about.

  • nvi


    • Paula_

      Do! Not! Call! Steve McQueen! A! Troll!!1!

      Meow you look RETARDED!!1!

      – Testimonial of a fan that doesn't get it: "It's too bad that you're so hated that even when you make a good comment you get thumbs down. That should tell you how awful you really are. – Buck"

      • JWoeBMoneY

        I would've bet my eye sight that you were driven back into the Gates of Hell and perished in it's eternal flame. Yet, to my surprise you're still here among the living. It seems that the only way to vanquish the pure evil that you embody is to cast your lifeless carcass into the fires of Modor. That being the case I propose establishing a fellowship in order to destroy this evil incarnate. Who's with me?
        Fuck You,

        P.S. What, if any, is your position on anal? For or against?

        • Paula_

          I'm beginning to think we'd make a nice couple. I've actually been to Mordor once, came to see Sauron but he quickly put out the fires and shut the curtains pretending not to be home. Bummer. Did buy a nice shirt at the gift shop:
          <img src=""&gt;
          As far as my position on anal goes: I prefer to be behind.

          – Fan testimonial: "It seems that the only way to vanquish the pure evil that you embody is to cast your lifeless carcass into the fires of Modor – JWoeBMoneY"

    • nvi

      god damnit I wasn't 2nd. Now I look retarded.

  • Jon

    It is about time this got posted. I have been waiting all day to get motivated. Now work is almost done for the day and I can finally get started.

  • r1rider

    #20 declicious!

    • theBoognish

      two-can sam?

  • janeyqueen

    #7 I don't think that dog feels eating bunny poop is a problem.

    • Kp1000

      You mean those weren't chocolate covered raisins?

    • Gonasiphaherpalitis

      He look's like he got into the owner's stash.

  • I_am_golf_c0m

    #2 included with the Iphone5

  • KCO617

    #20 Sign me up.

  • Poop

    #24 Pooped in a grocery store… Alrighty then

    • Needing a Trollop

      Didnt even wipe..she does what she wants

  • savagecabbage

    #24 wow

  • Intensemasterdebater

    #24 We just witnessed the birth of a new TLC show

    • Gonasiphaherpalitis

      Honey Poo Poo

    • Cecil

      You sir. Are approved!

    • Dayumm

      TLC = "Taking Large Craps" ? I'm sure thats what you meant? lol

  • ShouldBeWorkin

    #21 and #24 should be in a post titled "Click here for can't be unseen" o.O

  • Justin Cider

    #2 who needs a penis

    • Justin Cider

      Ment #4 i'm an ashat

    • BigOtis

      and here i was imagining you stretching your dick to play air guitar with it…lol

  • thefauqur

    Love the Monday Motivations!

  • General

    #25 "trust me all the Hollywood stars do this!"

    • Tom


      • RakishLass

        My brother can do this. This more weight.

  • Lisa

    #24 My daughter and I sat here going "Whhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaattttt?" Then my kid about fell off the couch laughing…lol

    Good gawd. What has the world come to?

    • Whale

      I guess it's come to watching a woman crap in a grocery store on the internet with your daughter.

      • abaffuto

        haha..I laughed.

    • Captain Planet

      First of all…why aren't you at work?…second, why aren't your kids at school? I guess we know what the world has come to, you showing your kids pointless shit on the Internet instead of watching something educational and probably getting welfare and food stamps from my paycheck. So watch away, those kids have no chance.

      • Lisa

        I'm not at work because it's my weekend…I worked 60 hours at two different jobs last week…so kiss my ass. And my daughter is 18…she graduated High School last May and will be going to college in January. She happens to have epilepsy. It's bad. We're lucky she's alive. So laughing is important. REALLY important. That's why we chive. πŸ˜‰ Chill out.

        • BuckOwens

          And that Captain Planet, is why you don't fuck with a Chivette. They'll hand you your ass on a fucking platter.

        • Fan of Lisa's

          I like your style Lisa, right on!

        • Chiver_Sammy

          Well said Lisa…

      • Lisa

        And I have NEVER taken welfare or food stamps. So SERIOUSLY KISS MY ASS. Jeez. :p

        • chicago

          Please keep chiving and laughing with your daughter. maybe that guy isn't house-broken and doesn't get the crazy-humor of that 'crappy gif'.

          Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

        • Osgood

          Ignore the idiots Lisa, they jump to conclusions for NO good reason. Heck, I was imagining your daughter being a kid, which would still be alright with me. Chive on/laugh on!!!

        • OhioChiver

          Lisa, You just made my day. What an awesome mom and crack commenter if I may say so. πŸ˜‰
          Rock on girl.

          • Lisa

            Glad I can be of service OC. πŸ˜‰

            I don't let trolls get to me for the most part. Hell, everyone needs a hobby. If they choose to focus their dorky attention on me, ok, I can handle it. Then they're leaving someone else alone. πŸ˜‰ My life is really quite mellow…challenging but mellow. So long as she hasn't had a seizure, I've had a great day. Today was a great day. πŸ™‚

            I hope y'all have peace in your lives. πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

            • Mr. right.

              Marry me Lisa.

            • Chiver_Sammy

              You're one of the best reasons Chivettes are so awesome…

      • William

        CP. Lisa just made you her bitch.

        That was a beautiful little slice of chive.

      • Captain Planet

        Sorry, still waiting for the drugs to kick in. I have a really bad case of cranial excrementitis.

  • LeftFlasherOn

    #19 Amen brother! Not like there's anything interesting in history that you could air on your network.

    • Beaker

      Exactly. Air some actual reality like history!

      • @Slave2anMG


        • Cecil

          Ghosts. Or should I say, fake night vision and poor camera work.

          • Gnole

            you forgot static…lots of static.

  • Stick

    #24 Find her and shoot her in the fucking face.
    No excuse.

    • Turd Ferguson

      Ok, so I definitely think the lady should have found a restroom if she could, but seriously Stick? Tell me you've never had to shit so bad you knew you were on a 5-seconds-or-less timer. I feel bad for her, I know I've had bubble guts something fierce before. Fortunately I managed to shit my pants in the bathroom so I could at least ditch my underbritches in the trash can.

      • Stick

        If that's truly the case, she would have known about. Either a condition she has or something she ate, she would have been aware that it was the possibly.
        Even then, she could have run outside, or kept her pants on.
        No one does that unless they're a selfish fucking animal.

        Nice name, though.

      • bryanole27

        She had enough time to find an empty aisle though didn't she?

        • Vent187

          I bet an employee pissed her off, so she did it to get back at the store.

    • Cecil

      let's face it, half the men in America would forgive such behavior in return for seeing her tits.

    • Argon

      Good Idea. Tosh is disgusting.

  • Tiber_Septim

    #21 You can't explain that

    • Dr_StrangePants

      You really can't

    • Gonasiphaherpalitis

      Bath salt's

  • steve

    #13 how about actual rocks?
    #17 calling a 3 year old an idiot is pretty weak

    • True Story

      I would hate to see you when you lose monopoly.

    • dragon2777

      yeah I would have just gone with something like " Don't listen to him, he doesn't know that Internet Explorer sucks yet" something like that

      • tralfaz

        It makes perfect sense that Grandma would only have what was pre-installed on her computer.

    • Gnole

      There is no excuse for using internet explorer.

      • Karl

        Except for downloading another browser.

  • sfb101

    #24 Don't girls wipe!?!

    • The_Dood

      They don't need to. They don't poop. This is a man in drag.

      • abaffuto

        This is along the lines of women farting rose petals too, right?

    • Notknowing

      Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

    • jerky

      right next to a large display of T.P., none the less…

    • dragonsmashed

      different isle for that

  • Dan

    #2 this manufacturer also makes my favorite kind of condoms.

  • MigraineBoy

    #24 Cleanup on isle 7. Sanjay to the entrance with the windex.

  • Lunch_Box

    #25 Can only end horribly.

  • EvilDungbeetle

    #10 I though it was a freshly cloned Sontaran.

    • EvilDungbeetle


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