I wish they weren’t, but these things are all just too true (31 Photos)

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  • Anonymous

    #31 i hit it at least 5 times a day…

    • The_Ger

      I have to set my alarm super early because I know I will hit that fucking thing at least a couple times before my brain starts functioning, and lets me know that this little contraption making all that noise is in fact doing so for a very important reason.

    • the dude

      7:30? Shit, that's sleeping in. Get a real job, son.

      • Anonymous

        5:20 is when mine starts. And i probably won't get up until a little after 6.

        • ay jay

          you lack self control

    • Shawn

      Missed 2 classes today. No regrets.

  • back2worknow

    #12 That is an awesome fog filter. I can hear the hipsters running in their Crocs to go check and see if Instragram has been updated!

    • jim thorton

      hahaha, dude, hipsters don't wear crocs! They wear shoes that you probably haven't heard of yet.

      • back2worknow

        You know you're right! Douchebags are the ones wearing Crocs. Hipsters would recycle some old trash to cover their filthy feet! I stand corrected.

        • sleepysteve

          What's wrong with Crocs? Perhaps I am comfortable in my masculinity….and virginity.

        • crusher44x

          I wear Crocs.. Not for style (of course), but for functionality. Very very easy to clean mud off, plus, they float! Double win!

          • inigo montoya

            Huh, it's like they took the animal, made it into a rubber product, and took the teeth out.

            • quailman8907

              Swing and a miss.

  • Rufio

    #2 not completely true. life should have shit on het chest. Than it would be more believable.

    • ZachBob


    • MylesofStyles


    • socalmarti

      Where did I put that true story meme?

  • Quisp

    #1 right from my driveway into the recycle bin

    • the credible hulk

      this may come as a shock to some of you but phone books are still used by some of us. I can look up a number in a matter of seconds as apposed to screwing around booting up and pulling up the net. Of course where I live is remote enough to not have cell service yet so maybe that makes a difference.

    • Renoob

      At least you move yours from the driveway. :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/anthony.daugherity Anthony Daugherity

      My dog gets mine before I do.

    • Guest

      Recycle Bin

  • Verbal_Kint

    #1 Seriously… Maybe at least drop a slip of paper you could check "deliver" or "no tanks" to leave on the door on delivery day…

    • Draiden

      I don't know…… I think them delivering a tank would be kind of cool. But "no tanks" is probably a good rule…

      • Verbal_Kint


    • Matt

      Is that the same Pete Holmes that went to Gordon College?

    • MylesofStyles

      I just like to count the Chins in the Chinese ones.

  • SOhioChiver

    #17 add a volume control and I am sold!

    • George Zip

      Replace the AUX with Bluetooth and, yep, there you go.

  • Cracka_ass_cracka


  • Yerp

    #11 every fucking time

  • SomeBeans

    #5 I like to smear lots of different things on my face to clean all the stuff off of my face

    • UhHuh

      Such as semen?

  • wkdfrog

    #8 pornstars

    • Lawrence

      Two chicks at once.

      • mhmm

        Every gorgeous chick in the world… (you two ^^^ aim too low)

        • Magoo

          Every gorgeous chick in the world… At once? Challenge accepted.

  • ScottishScott89

    #31 The person who invented it is sitting on his big pile of cash! Saying sucker I will never have to use that again!

  • OU Drew

    #27 anybody else tired of this pic?

    • scaggnettii

      NOPE! This meme is legendary.

    • DDD

      would have been better if you used the pic with your question on it.

    • glenco

      sick of all of them, i feel like i am being tortured with 9gag and their childish jokes. meme's need to disappear, we have been absolutely smashed with them worse than gangnam style.

    • Houston Pizza Dude

      I'm not tired of it but that woman should know that many women don't actually put on pants when I take their order to their house.

  • sfb101

    #23 All the way!

  • DDD

    #9 The Crazy/Hot Scale by Barney Stinson

  • robbie

    #8 But a lottery ticket

    • robbie

      *buy. Damned you auto correct. You have become my worst enema!

      • johnny

        Are you saying that you have failed at buying a lottery ticket? Life gets a lot harder than that my friend.

  • Luke

    #7 And No matter how many thousands of times ive used it I always pull the light chain first

  • Lukeatmacok

    Shes a Whore….

  • Darrell

    #1 I must be the only one who takes one just for the retro factor

    • Hunting

      You and the doomsday crew that thinks they'll need to find a dry cleaner when the world comes to an end and there's no internet.

    • Wisti

      I still take mine because I actually have to use it occasionally…

    • guibombe


  • SmokeyTheBear

    #3 True for men
    #9 True for women

  • Kato

    #31 I normally pull the plug on my alarm once this happens. Sure I'm late for work but IDGAF.

  • Stick

    Don't forget it flipping out of the tube, on to the floor, and picking up all the gross shit that somehow magically appeared just to fuck up your day.

  • Bee

    #22 ALWAYS

  • Anon

    #28 Too true. Woke up to an unusual sound to find my son peeing in the bath tub.

    • bob

      as a child (i think i was about 9) my mother woke me up from a sound sleep as i was peeing on the front door.
      she always told me it was a sign of things to come, i never understood till college.

  • AllTaco

    #20 is what a really old Heath Ledger might've looked like.

  • Hunting

    #13 If you don't know why this is, there's a clear reason why you are looking for work.

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