It’s Monday, you could use some motivation (28 Photos)

  • Cat Taco

    Hold my spot !

    • Get Mad!!!


      • Whale

        The motivation threads are getting less funny each time.

  • justme

    #28 It's hard to believe over 500,000 words were spoken.

    • Elvis666

      You know, the Twilight series was a set of books first.

    • Mike Hunt

      Look up on youtube "Twilight bad lip reading", it's pretty funny.

    • Big Dumper

      My morning shite tells a better story than the Twilight franchise.

    • curmudgeon

      and not a f$%k was given

    • Dr. Evil

      I can sum up Twilight with three words; sparkly neutered vampires.

    • Hughesy

      575,710 words withonly two facial exprensions

  • professor

    all glory to the hypnotoad

  • First

    First! Kcco!

  • thatguy

    #28 Haven't seen Twilight, but it was definitely better than 99% of movies in the past 10 yrs or so.

    • ston

      You're right , you haven't seen Twilight

    • Mike

      lol you must have not seen many movies then.

    • Livin' Legend

      I think he was talking about the animation in the picture. Ironically, he is "that guy" that may have made a valid point, but we'll never know due to poor sentence structure.

      • Plurp

        I saw Paperman before Wreck It Ralph. It was a beautiful piece of animation and romantic story telling. Wreck It Ralph was really good too.

  • Hey.Now.HEY.NOW.

    My boss is over an hour late and I don't give a fuck! Chive On, everyone!

    • Mike Hunt


    • Livin' Legend

      C'mon Pookie, let's burn this muthafucka down!

    • gimletmike

      This happened to me once. Three hours later the boss's administrative assistant came in and handed everyone a memo telling us that our jobs had been eliminated effective immediately. Then a private security company escorted everyone out of the building and locked it. True story.

  • Ponderous

    # those are the skinniest people ever. The proper name should have been stickman.

  • bill

    #28 we need some Paper "Fuckin" Man shirts!

  • joey

    #28. Which poor bastard actually counted how many words were in twilight? Hell even looking in words to tell you is caring too much

    • Brian

      It's called get the script and click the word count button

      • @IceLegatus

        you realize those 500,000 words are not the script but the books right. It's called a manuscript.

  • bdon

    #14 Why? Is the cat's name Vagina?

    • Frosty

      Who gave this thumbs down? That shit was funny!

  • Alex

    #16 HAH!

  • tv_paul

    #18 I guess when the coxswain called "Stroke" they took him literally.

    • Professor Squeegee

      OK, who presented the award?

      • Forty Creek

        Brazzer's did.

    • goatpunch

      "Dude we should all totally pop viagras before we get on medal stand, it'll be so hilarious!"

    • Kells Bells

      I'll take 1, 2, & 4 TYVM! And I know just where they can put those things!! Good LAWD I hope that ain't photoshopped!!

  • Like a fruit

    #16 third from the left looking ripe

  • tv_paul

    #1 I'll be an Organ donor …for #20

  • You're busted!

    The water looks cold.

    • Jason S.

      agreed, a horny gay guy shopped these guys because they're all well endowed! haha Still awesome though!


      a gay chiver.

    • bruce

      Nope look right about average to me

      • Jen

        Average for Africa maybe

  • Dr_StrangePants

    #20 Indeed, Anne Hathaway WOULD be an Epic Mount

    • SmokeyTheBear

      or epicly mounted..

    • Sean

      My thoughts exactly.

  • misschris

    #4 Yea.. please just get out altogether

  • Adam

    Unrelated Comment! Just Wanted to say thanks the Chivers! I figured now I have been frequenting the site for little over a year (Paulina Gretzky brought me here) and all the Chivers/Chivettes have made life a little brighter for me! You all kick ass and have given me a more positive outlook on life! KCCO everyone!

    • Jag

      Chive On brother

  • SomeDude


    That's an Enfield No. 2 Mk 1 British service revolver. Judging from the rarity of its ammunition, this guy is a collector not a criminal.

    • OMG

      Wow, you mean that's really a….wait, who gives a shit?

    • mr_brojangles

      Shut up Guy.

    • FNP90

      Good eye. Wasn't this Indiana Jones' gun?

    • Tim

      And spoons made me fat.

  • Tiber_Septim

    #19 truth FML

    • etcrrSUCKs

      truth is youre so old you have a pacemaker- stan.

  • svp

    #6 Mario is really a play that takes place on a stage!!!

    • Dalshepsut

      Thats just mario 3, with the curtains opening up.

  • ThePatriot

    #12 I am very pro gun and own many, but can't stand when other gun owners use this arguement. The difference is the gun is the only thing on this list specifically made for killing.

    • Ryan

      So is a rat trap. I think the point is to say people doing bad things is the problem, not the items they used to do bad things with. Do you honestly not get that? Or are you just being argumentative?

      • Dalshepsut

        Rattraps dont kill people, guns can kill things to eat, but how many people with guns use them to hunt? A lot of people have guns for protection, because they are a way to threaten people who would hurt you, and when people get panicky and scared they can make mistakes. Bad people can do bad things, but good people are just as likely to make mistakes, and a mistake with a gun can really hurt people.

        • guest

          There are about 80 million gun owners in the US, and about 30 million licensed hunters. So 3 of 8 gun owners are hunters. Most of the people I know who hunt own several firearms, while most people who have guns for self-protection only have one or two. If you are worried about firearm safety, take a hunters education class, even if you have no intentions of hunting. The class is 80% gun safety.

          • Dalshepsut

            I think anyone with a gun should take a hunters safety class, cuz its the panicky people who usually make the mistakes that affect everyone

        • Why?

          For protection against who? Agaisnt people with a lighter, or against people with a gun?

          • Dalshepsut

            Zombies, obviously.

          • Frank

            Someone with a knife, bat, spear, sword, or someone with a sheer size advantage. You know, like a 90 lb woman protecting herself from a 220 lb rapist.

        • Tim

          We should take the guns away from police too.
          You wouldn't want them accidentally shooting you when they are coming to save your life from an armed attacker.
          It's too dangerous.

      • ZPow

        Guns clearly make it easier for bad folks to do more damage is I think the point. Gun control isn't an issue I'm overly interested in one way or another, but I hate bad, illogical arguments. There isn't a single person in the world who think guns spontaneously activate through Skynet and just magically shoot people. Portraying that as anyone's argument is just creating a straw man and it is bad debating.

        Look at it this way: the Oklahoma City Bombing wasn't actually the bomb's fault. But something tells me that, if McVeigh's plan had been to just enter the building and try to strangle people one by one, maybe it wouldn't have worked so well.

        The planes on 9/11 aren't to blame, clearly, but they were a tool through which people were able to kill thousands.

        So now there's tight security on airplanes and if someone buys a lot of materials that could be used to make bombs, that activity is documented and investigated. I think it's fair to say, for example, Columbine or Virginia Tech or the Aurora Theatre Shooting would not have taken so many lives if unstable people didn't get guns, so I don't know why anyone would argue against some kind of measures and/or background checks on guns that obviously would not be reasonable on the other things in that picture.

        It's important to recall: the Second Amendment is "the right to bear arms." At the time the most advanced weapons available was the musket, so that vague terminology made sense. Today "arms" doesn't just mean guns: it includes biological weapons or atomic bombs, things every reasonable person agrees should not be sold to just any citizen. The whole debate isn't black and white, it's grey. We're just trying to find the best fulcrum between safety and freedom. (My personal opinion is that I don't see the point in selling weapons that aren't practical for either hunting or self-protection, which basically means assault weapons or something like an extended clip, the only real purpose of which seems to be to kill a lot of people quickly).

        • Frank

          I think it's interesting to note that the shootings you are using as examples could have been stopped, if there was a good guy there with a gun.

          Many attempted mass shootings have been stopped because of the off chance there was a good guy with a gun that just happened to be near by. Perpetrators love gun free zones, because they know that the good guys have no guns. Criminals will always have guns. You cant legislate them out of existence.

          Did you know that the theater in Aurora was the only one near by that didn't allow CCW in it? That the shooter lived closer to other bigger theaters, but specifically targeted that one?

          Guns are just a tool, and anything good or bad that comes from them comes only from the person with their finger on the trigger.

          • ZPow

            I don't think a "good guy with a gun" could've helped in the Aurora shooting. It was a tightly packed room full of teargas and a perp decked out in body armor. A second person with a gun could hardly breathe and would have pretty poor visibility and a pretty deafening movie in the background. The chances of them hitting another innocent person would've been pretty high, even if they had trained extensively. In that instance, it seems like it would be more a danger than a gain. Does that honestly sound like a situation where you'd feel comfortable taking a shot? Nearly blind, choking and with innocents outnumbering the bad guy, the only person who isn't being affected by gas and to be armored, by over 100 to one?

            The same is also potentially possible in other situations, I've read that a lot of gun training from low-stress times is basically forgotten in high-stress situations and aiming and firing become erratic. That's a bigger detriment to a would-be hero, trying to hit one or two people, than a would be killer aiming at anyone.

            The "another armed person could save the day" thing is kinda iffy to me for a few reasons, though. I've never actually heard of that happening, for one, I don't know of any examples of that happening. I do know that the Fort Hood shooting happened at a military base, pretty far from a gun free zone, and 13 were killed. It also lasted basically the same amount of time as Virginia Tech (10 mins), long enough for potential victims to have fled the scene if still alive.

            I'm also a bit wary of people who brag and say "if I was there, it would've have been different" (not saying you did this) because those people have been in a position like that zero times in their lives. A gun is a thing a person carries, but it isn't in and of itself distilled bravery, and most heroes don't brag about how heroic they are. Cowards brag about how heroic they are. I grew up in Littleton, and I know people who watched folks die in Columbine, and I guarantee it isn't as simple as a lot of folks think to overcome the fear you'd feel.

            But ultimately the problem with "if only there were another guy with a gun" is: the vast majority of the population, whether they own guns or not, whether it is a place that allows concealed carry or not, just don't carry guns around with them. I own a handgun (a Walther) myself but I never leave home with it. And the vast majority of the population never will either. There's never been any study linking right-to-carry areas, and from what I've read there's no real real difference in violent crimes caused by concealed carry laws.

            So, no, I don't consider guns the answer to any problem like some folks seem to. The upshot that pro-gun folks will like, however, is that any restriction that doesn't make things safer is obviously totally unnecessary, and since as near as I can tell from various non-partisan studies (that is, not from the NRA or the Brady Foundation) concealed carry and most gun laws don't have any real affect on crime rates, so there's no good argument not to let people buy what they want and carry it if they so please (though I still personally oppose assault rifles and extended clips just because I don't see what practical application a law abiding citizen has for those things).

            Anyways, I'm always happy to have a civil conversation about this topic. As someone who is kind of in the middle on the gun debate, I've seen a lot of meanness from both sides. Always fun to get some reasonable folks talking.

            • Frrank

              Of course you don't hear about it when a gun saves the day, very few if anyone gets killed or injured, it doesn't make anywhere near the headlines as a "successful" mass shooting.

              You seem to be making excuses as to why a armed good guy could do nothing in those situations, and I'd have to say: Why would people be calling the cops when s a gunman goes on a rampage? Because they have guns and can stop them! I'd agree someone else could get shot. It happens all the time with police too, but the alternative is to not try to stop a guy who is there to shoot as many people as he possibly can.

              And yeah, a guy may carry a gun and not use it, but at least he has the option to do whatever HE thinks is best at the time. You cannot tell me you have never heard of a good guy stopping a criminal with a gun.

              Violent crimes are going down. The number of shootings in the US are going down. Gun sales are at record highs. I'd wouldn't go so far as to say more guns = less crime, but I would say they are not as closely correlated as many think. Just look at Switzerland. Every household has a gun, and they have very little gun crime.

              I think it all boils down to the poster. Guns are an inanimate object and do not commit crimes.
              It's sad in this day and age where the average person more often will vilify a object like a gun, while finding every excuse for why the criminal committed a crime, and why hes not responsible.

              • Frank

                Here is one such story I'm sure you don't hear plastered on the news, and I assure you it's far from the only one:
                Oct. 15, 1999

                Vice Principal Joel Myrick held his Colt .45 point blank to the high school boy's head. Last week, he told me what it was like. "I said 'why are you shooting my kids?' He said it was because nobody liked him and everything seemed hopeless," Myrick said. "Then I asked him his name. He said 'you know me, Mr. Myrick. Remember? I gave you a discount on your pizza delivery last week."

                The shooter was Luke Woodham. On that day in 1997, Woodham slit his mother's throat then grabbed a .30-30 lever action deer rifle. He packed the pockets of his trench coat with ammo and headed off to Pearl High School, in Pearl, Miss.

                The moment Myrick heard shots, he ran to his truck. He unlocked the door, removed his gun from its case, removed a round of bullets from another case, loaded the gun and went looking for the killer. "I've always kept a gun in the truck just in case something like this ever happened," said Myrick, who has since become Principal of Corinth High School, Corinth, Miss.

                Woodham knew cops would arrive before too long, so he was all business, no play. No talk of Jesus, just shooting and reloading, shooting and reloading. He shot until he heard sirens, and then ran to his car. His plan, authorities subsequently learned, was to drive to nearby Pearl Junior High School and shoot more kids before police could show up.

                But Myrick foiled that plan. He saw the killer fleeing the campus and positioned himself to point a gun at the windshield. Woodham, seeing the gun pointed at his head, crashed the car. Myrick approached the killer and confronted him. "Here was this monster killing kids in my school, and the minute I put a gun to his head he was a kid again," Myrick said.

                • Tim

                  Hmm.. My other posts of students stopping a shooting has been deleted.

                  Anyway, there are many such stories, but they don't make the news. Secondly there are few mass shootings that do not occur in a gun free zone. Law abiding citizens don't bring guns there because the laws tell them they can't. Only criminals don't obey those laws.

                  When you see more people ccwing, and less restrictions on where they can, you will more and more of these stories. That is, if they get any news coverage.

                  • Tim

                    Nice chatting with you too, even if we don't agree.

                    BTW I live in a country where we have massive gun restrictions and many many more gun laws than the average place in the us. People are still shot here, there are still school shootings.

                    Gun control only keeps guns from those people that do not wish to be criminals. After all murder is already banned right? I wonder why it keeps happening then….

              • Frank


                FORT HOOD WAS A GUN FREE ZONE!!!!

                Look it up.

    • JTW

      You mean other than the lighter, it's purpose is to light cigarettes which kill people. So the lighter and the gun, oh, wait, and the knife. It's purpose is "specifically to kill people" as much as a gun's purpose is. So, yeah, what the hell is up with that USB argument, it invalidates the ENTIRE idea!

      • ZPow

        He said "specifically made for killing," not "specifically made for killing humans" (though the latter is the case for, say, an AK-47, which was specifically designed to be used in war).

        Personally, I use a knife almost every day to eat or open packages or even for carving things. A hundred other things too.

        I use lighters, and fire in general, pretty regularly too. Starting pilot lights, if I'm camping I can start a fire so I can be warm or cook. On the fourth of July maybe light off some fireworks. And dozens or hundreds of other things.

        A gun is useful as protection and for hunting, and people are entitled to those things, but in both those cases it is specifically because its only effective because its primary function is to kill or injure.When you're hunting, if I'm not mistaken, you usually are trying to kill something. When you are trying to protect yourself, you want to do so with something that can hurt or kill an attacker. A gun isn't a useful tool when it comes to home maintenance or preparing dinner (except, once again, if you kill dinner yourself).

        That doesn't inherently mean they need to be banned or something, they can be and often are useful objects, but they are clearly potentially useful objects whose basic function is either killing or hurting things. Knives and lighters are tools that can be used as weapons. A gun is fundamentally a weapon.

        • Frank

          A gun is a tool.

          You know for ridding pests, obtaining food, target shooting, Olympic sports, personal defense…

          A tool is a tool is a tool. A knife by definition is also a weapon. A weapon is a tool.
          Inanimate objects don't cause crimes. And to imply anything other is to deny the responsibility of the person using it.

    • Tim

      Guns were also made to save the life of the person that has it, and often do. They also feed people.

    • Frank

      You can't stand the argument that an inanimate object cannot commit a crime? That a person has to make a conscious effort to commit a crime?

      Ooooookay, bud. Here's a man that watched too many Disney cartoons, and actually think your toys come to life and talk to each other when you turn your back.

    • grimotr

      guns are just xboxes for old white men…one day no one will play with them anymore and the world will be a much safer place.

      • Tim

        I wonder why black on black shootings are so common if its an old white man game.

      • Tim

        The world will be safe, like from before firearms were invented.

        Whats that? There was still horrifically bloody wars and violence before guns? Impossible. I don't believe it.

  • Andy Valentine

    #22 – After this point I read everything else in his voice.

  • Justsayoyvey

    #26 Problem this be, Linux you should use hmmmm. #17 Coolness level :Rapping Yoda

    • JTW

      #26 so true, I mean I would rather spend DAYS setting up my system rather than 2 minutes restarting it once in a while.

  • _DoC_

    10K last munth?? Noe whey!

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