Every man’s ideal girlfriend (26 Photos)

  • Rusty Shackleford

    Lucky bastards

    • Whipshine


    • Bud

      I went to Vegas for my birthday last year… My girlfriend at the time gave me $100 in singles as part of my present before I left and said "use this on whores". I say at the time because she is now my fiance. Duh.

    • Castle Owner

      Single guys have it made. All of these chicks will turn bitchy and fat.

    • Pokemon really?

      I need to reevaluate what a chiver is. Apparently you have to love horrible video games, play with Pokemon, love cosplay (whatever the fuck that is), and cats (fuck cats). I just check out chive for hot chicks and feel good stories and I get stuck reading posts and replies from virgin world of warcrafters. I'm going to pornhub from now on!

      • lolwut

        your life sucks

      • Nilf

        Guess someone is bitter about getting rejected all the time for being too big of an asshole.

  • Tiber_Septim

    there's no such woman as perfect but would give any one of them my best effort. they all seem great

    • r@f

      #5 its a trap!

  • bandailey

    #12 i call bullshit

    • SeaRay

      Actually, I live right by that casino and they give free shit away all the time. Ducati = true story, brah.

      • bandailey

        One time we went to IHOP and my girlfriend gave me all you can eat pancakes. Actually I paid and it was only 3 pancakes, but the point is, girls don't give their boyfriends free fucking ducatis.

        • MonkeyMadness

          Maybe she gave it to him because she's not old enough to drive yet. lol

          • Watermelon

            she wouldnt be able to gamble if she wasnt old enough to drive.. penis

            • MonkeyMadness

              You're an angry elf, aren't you?

            • 2Dogs

              if you can dodge a wrench , you can dodge a scam

            • bandailey

              its a gamble every time you drive penis.

              • Nilf

                I do call BS you still have to pay taxes on gifts like that which for a Ducati would be around 5-6k.

        • Truth Hurts


          Just like the note where the chick says "here's $5 go get a beer on me".

          Ya, that sounds like a chick alright. Like Mary Letourneau!

          I get the "be a good brother" vibe, but usually it is like posting chicks with goof faces: only the unprofitable is caught.

        • IKnowFunny

          The funniest thing I have read all week.

        • Misfit7734

          My best friends girlfriend bought him a brand new cbr

    • Jess

      Maybe she couldn't afford the taxes on it. "Gifting" is a great way to catch a break there, as I learned from Shawshank Redemption.

      • Slappy

        We don't pay taxes on winnings up here in the Great White North. Word to tha government.

    • Jester

      I'd give it back to the casino. Ducati makes garbage…

      • Horse Head

        You are literally too stupid to insult.

        • someAFguy

          It would be nice to keep liking this comment. He's probably a Harley rider.

        • Jester1

          Nope. Raced two 1198's for close to 2 years. Why 2? Because the first one was in the shop for 10 out of 12 months, and the 2nd one cracked a piston and fried its own computer. Check out recalls on the 1199 and maybe you'll learn a thing or two. And harley's are gay. BMW S1000RR and Aprilia RSV4 for the win…

      • Gmoney

        Prolly rides a Vespa…

  • Mr. Somewhat Awesome

    Now if only I could find one that does stuff like that!

  • Dan


    • Back from the Dead

      Apparently muscely guys with irritable bowel syndrome that play a lot of Pokemon get awesome girlfriends. Who knew?

  • Elaine

    #13 Wrote it himself.

    • Brad

      No way. Examine the penmanship… specifically the "zz" in pizza. That's a chick for sure.

      • TheVanityScore

        that is not a chicks penmanship. they write much much better than that.

    • Truth Hurts

      sounds contrived either way

      • hugh.m@rshall.us

        Doesn't matter, fucked her face.

        • Truth Hurts

          Allegedly. Doesn't that apply to anything and everything herein?

          And if he did, why share it on the internet?


          "Those who know, do not speak; those who speak do not know." – Huang 'Hung Man' Po

          • DrGarnicus

            We all spoke

        • Luke

          who said it was a her?? Dudes have BFs too…

          Think outside the BOX

          • dirtysteve

            Title of the post says 'ideal girl'.

            Not bloke.

            • Guest

              Yest but the note in #13 is not gender specific.

          • B-to-the-H

            I see what you did there.

    • Observationalist

      Sorry you guys don't have a girl like that. No need to cry about it though.

  • MrCoffeeman

    #25 infinite win.

    • Muky

      But where's the boobs?

      • MissVega84

        SCORE! 😀

    • Crazy_Jake


    • Mmmotorboatin

      Sooooo…. You mentioned something about BOOBS…???

  • Elephant

    Be sure to let me know when #13 is a newly single chivette

    • bumble

      I'd pay to be on that list

    • Dickinabox

      Its from a dude…

      • not me.

        Proof or stfu

    • Truth Teller

      I sat here looking at this post thinking to myself, man, what I wouldn't do to be with a girl like this…then I realized if my girlfriend did this for me I'd just say, hmm that was neat and go back to not wanting to fuck her…

  • p1ll

    #4 that is a woman that should be worshiped

    • MonkeyMadness

      Unless she's sleeping with your buddies too. just sayin. 😛

    • erikhart

      Th OJ is empty! WTF??

    • Jen

      that seems like a little much. but hey, im single what do i know. haha

    • DrGarnicus

      Is that herb on the black tray?

      • ddd

        and a bong in back

    • sandy astroglide

      Worshipped because she's shaped like Buddha. There were 3 dozen pancakes before he got there.

  • Anthony

    #12 #13
    She's a keeper. Free Duc lucky guy!

  • jajaja

    #4 Weed!!!

  • bob

    mhh already saw this on caveman circus yesterday, good pictures non the less..

    • carter

      Second time they've done that this week. At least they bothered to change the name on this one. The last one was literally a complete duplication. You guys are better than this.

    • Surething

      Serious ive seen it happen a couple of times where similar themes on the same day with same pics, but jesus this is just too blatant. Chive guys getting lazy, success will do that

    • Yep

      Then again, this is the first time I (and probably many others too) got to see these pics, so who cares where they came from? The point is…we got to see them!

    • loves sammiches

      Yeah? Did you also see the Zoe post on there? What's that? You didn't. Hmmm. Interesting.

      • http://www.facebook.com/Tomsfoolery TommyD

        So it's ok for theChive to blatantly rip off entire posts (which they usually do at least once a day) as long as they thrown in their own every now and then?

        theChive has turned into Reddit Lite. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, I like not having to click a million links to see if something is worth looking at. But it doesn't mean claiming content as their own is kosher. In fact, it's illegal.

  • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

    #21 Costumes may be a good argument for keeping, but dude, look at her! She's friggin' hot! Marry the shit out of her. You'll never find any better.

    • MonkeyMadness

      Get a good look at her mother first, that's what she'll be soon enough. 😛

    • DDD

      Fuck the shit out of her, no reason to bring marriage into it…

    • imdowngetme

      Get her pregnant!!

      • LOLP

        Nice try, Crazy Girl…. We're on to you.

  • FarmBoy

    Thanks for the reminder that some of us are forever alone…

    • ian7j2

      pretty much dude

  • Dave

    #23 Holy crap Battle Beasts

    • Pinky

      Had to look these up, They are on Ebay for $200+

      • Meee

        And im a dork… I have 3 complete sets… been collecting them since i was like 4.

    • dirtysteve

      They battle for fun!

    • http://www.theserpentsage.com Greg

      Loved playing with these little guys when I was a sprout!

      (And I have the whole set now, as an adult nerd.)

    • Dingus

      Holy shit I loved battle beasts!! The guy in the purple armor, front right, wast favorite. Shark or piranha or something like that if I remember correctly.

    • goatpunch

      Had a few of these, didn't remember the name. no clue what happened to them

    • KyleGamgee

      Collect every one of these incredible creatures to battle for fun!

  • Warren

    Fools!!!! Wait till your married.It a trap!!!!!

    • Schnizz56

      Yep, notice how they all say 'girlfriend' and not 'wife'.

    • irons

      The best advice ever brother Warren. Take it from an old married silverback. Your girlfriend will remain wonderful while she is your girlfriend.

      Once she is married the old, bitter, ugly, overweight angry women will go to work on her until she gains weight, cuts off her hair and hates her husband. These harridans will not rest until every female on the planet is as miserable as they are.

      I have seen it over and over, if you can keep her away from the angry, ugly, pus filled hate machines she will remain happy.

      Good luck my brothers, enjoy it while it lasts but for Gods sake don't marry it.

      • Guest

        Wow. That's a seriously pathetic life you lead. I can't even be mad; it's just impressive…

      • Dollface

        I have seen those crazy women that let themselves go and cut yheIr haIr off and suddenly decIde sex Is the worst thIng ever. BUT there are a few of us WIVES that are amazIng and take great care of our husbands and ourselves. just sayIng It does happen!

        • ZachBob

          I thInk somethIng Is wrong wIth your keyboard.

    • Right

      I dunno… I've been married 2 years and the sex is still frequent and amazing. I guess I haven't reached that point yet, or maybe it's something I'm doing right.

      • Hurricane Harri

        If ya get past the first 7 without killing each other, all the rest is easy!

    • Bad2DaBone

      Right on Brother!!!!!! Will never fall for that crap again!

    • chivette

      As a (married) woman, I agree it's a trap. I call it the "cool girl syndrome" which is when a girl does EVERYTHING in her power to seem like the perfect girlfriend. Of course when you marry her it is going to change, because she wasn't herself from the start and it gets too tiring for them. She wants an ego boost. The same with guys who try so hard to be the perfect boyfriend (i.e. watching/loving chick flicks, foot rubs…that kind of b.s.)

      • chivette

        adding to that…find a girl who is real. Not "I love everything guys like" real. And women who get fat and cut all their hair off, there's no excuse, keep your shit up!

        • socalmarti

          Maybe, but some of us real girls are a little more down to earth i.e. like horror and football and not chickflicks, or maybe prefer to hike insted of shopping. And we're definently not getting fat or cutting our hair off!

          • chivette

            I never said i didnt. I do hike, horror is my fav genre, i listen to only classic rock. Im just calling bullshit to the girls who just say it to get fanboys all rustled up

  • Trav1121

    #25 The greatest things on Earth: 'Tendo and Tits!

  • http://twitter.com/NickoGilbert @NickoGilbert

    I gots to get a me a girl like this

  • MonkeyMadness

    #2 If I had a girlfriend that looked like that, I'd put it down, lift it up, rip it off the damn toilet if that's what she wanted me to do!

    • dirtysteve

      'A man who sacrifices his throne for a woman, shall end up with neither.'

      • Quotable

        -Thomas Jefferson

    • Nico

      Hell, she can sit ON me while using.it..

    • TheVanityScore

      me and my girlfriend just leave it as is, if its up or down. we both look before we sit. its not rocket science haha

      • MonkeyMadness

        Marry that girl! Apparently that concept is not common knowledge with all females.

  • irons

    I have never seen so many cleverly disguised traps in my life!!!

    • Zucharelly

      Right on! But it's totally ok to be trapped anyhow. You just have to realize all the time that you are trapped. Then it's no longer a trap.

    • Timmy

      Thought the same thing… All I could see while looking at these is my ass running out the door. Give be a girl that argues and ill show you a good f&@k

    • Wile E. Coyote

      …taking notes

  • Phox

    #24 marry her or i will

    • Del

      That letter screams on thing — RUN!!!!

      • socket2me

        hmm, no. In other news I got a bj while playing Skyrim earlier this month, yay me. I never thought your mom enjoyed that game.

    • Mr. Pink


    • Drew

      I liked that one and #26. Anything that requires a little thought. Too bad I don't play video games!

  • Art

    CHIVE I'm surprised you didn't find a way to put a picture of the grumpy cat on this

    • Watermelon


  • Pvtdeth

    None of these should be girlfriends. Marry now!!

    • Luke

      Forever alone

  • hooray4boobies

    Well this post is a major improvement over that pathetic goofy girls one, now this is what guys like in a woman, not stupid faces & girls who crave attention.

    • LameO's

      Seriously??? These have got to be the dorkiest things ever. Who the fuck cares about these stupid kid games. I would much rather see hot chicks making dumb faces than pokemon or magic the gatjering posts. AllI want out of a chick is to feed me, fuck me, and shut the hell up!

  • CD3

    sweetest things ive ever read

    • Yep

      especially that "fuck my face" line on #13!

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