Sh*t I want (24 Photos)

  • Paula_

    Sh!t I want:

    To be…


    Love ya Mac! ❤ Do you love us too?

    – the one you love to hate

    • Oltimey

      Paula you're always first….First in line at the clinic….First in line at the shelter…..

      • Paula_

        First to get laid….
        Oh wait, fuck, no…
        Bob always beats me to it… But then again he humps anything with a pulse.

        – Fan testimonial: "You have to be new here…welcome to the Chive, Paula is your director of trolling and will answer any of your questions about irritating others in painful ways. However don't try to insult her, because i'm pretty sure she'll own you. Please see above comment for reference. – a-nom"

    • Old Maid

      The show is getting old now. You need a new handle. It lost its novelty.

      • Paula_

        I do not need a new handle.
        I'v got one perfect handle that I'm really attached to.
        Never going to give that one up.
        So fuck you. With my handle.

        – the one you love to hate

        • urinal puck

          Lick me please.

        • Professor Squeegee

          Squeegee handle… awwwe yeaaah

      • a-nom

        You have to be new here…welcome to the Chive, Paula is your director of trolling and will answer any of your questions about irritating others in painful ways. However don't try to insult her, because i'm pretty sure she'll own you. Please see above comment for reference.

        • Old Maid

          Actually been here for a while. Thanks for assuming. And its still not funny.

          • a-nom

            You're welcome! Sarcasm noted and appreciated. It's only not funny if you take it seriously.

          • Paula_

            Do you know what will cheer you up? A FLAMING HOVER CAT!!1!

            See a few comments below for detailed instructions. Enjoy!!1!

            – the one you love to hate

    • Chivacy Please


    • FNG

      I wanna do Paula, bet she bitches the whole time.

      • urinal puck

        Right in the butt, so I can see the pain.

    • Tothe

      I've never been so disappointed. I thought my wish came true…someone found you and smashed your typing fingers until there was nothing left but bloody little stumps.

      It's time for a new act. You do the same thing over and over. You are the worst kind of troll…unable to be clever and unwilling to shut up.

      • Paula_

        OK, and meow what?

        – the one you love to hate

        • whale huntr

          meow about keep on, keepin' on…. 99.5% of the time we just say 'moar' and 'she's so hot'……. then there is paula…. idk wtf you are, or wtf u look like… but keep trollin' trollin' trollin'

  • Jon

    #13 and #23 look gross.

    • J-S

      are you vegetarian ?

      • Jon

        No, I just prefer tube steak….

    • Tanthony2012

      You're obviously not American.

    • Dan

      you obviously have no soul

    • TheVanityScore

      that looks BOMB. I can honestly say this is the one thing i would actually want.

    • Wrench

      Stuffed burgers look gross? Go eat some hummus ya hippy.

    • Brock Samson

      burger looks delicious, the 'hot dog' burger literally looks like shit.

    • MylesofStyles

      You know what the worst part is about finding these gross? Having to tell your parents you're gay.

  • Chiveon

    Man please video review #20

    • Dan

      it's kinda hard to video review a pizza perfume… I mean it smells like pizza that's it!

      • Jabbathepizzahut

        Mac would find a way! We need pros and cons!

      • Takingbackcider

        He could wear it and walk along Venice Beach asking women to smell him. If he doesn't do it already…

  • Dick trickle

    Hell yeah #10 would be so helpful after I do my business while wearing #24

  • Paula_

    Paula want….

    #6 combined with #8 and #2 and so…. ON FIRE!!1!

    Flaming Hovercat FTW!!1! Sorry Mac!!1!

    – Fan testimonial: "Paula, you're half the reason I read the comments. – SquishyFlint"

    • Paula_

      OH!!1! AND #12 to make sure it keeps 'hovering' hahaha.

      – Fan testimonial: "Ah here! Paula much smarter than you! such an inaccuracy; she's smarter than everyone. – insanely great"

      • Paula_

        I just squirted a little…

        – the one you love to hate

        • Josh


        • FahQ

          LMFAO trollolololololololololololololololol

        • turtles suck

          Out of your penis? you might want to get that checked out.

  • echogeo

    Which reminds me, when will Yankee Candle come up with a Bacon scented candle or a Roasted Turkey

  • Jess

    #15 saw someone with one of these in Germany and really WANT!!

  • Dibo

    #12 You'll shoot your eye out kid

    • thisguy

      My parents got me one last year. They had it wrapped in the red wrapping paper and hid it in the corner just like in the movie. Awesomest moment ever. Holy childhood fantasy come true!

      • Yep

        Following an example from a lessor known movie, "Better Off Dead", my parents once got me a tv-dinner for Christmas.

        • Claude

          "Snow! its everywhere! Do you know the street value of this mountain?" Love that movie.

          • Yep

            "Go that way really fast…if something gets in your way…turn!" "What a coach!"

            Yes, great movie!

        • DiamondX

          Looking good, Meyer! Looking Real Real Good!!!

    • pixfresh

      Festive Response

    • lucid_eye

      best gift I ever got my son, I think it was an anniversary edition.

  • sfb101

    I want #1 so I can chase #6 around.

  • Verbal_Kint

    None of these with a slight maybe on the ammo can… #21

  • TheJoeGreene

    A giant pink board and a cat…yep, Mac is still a fucking pussy.

    • Yeahhh

      And you are still a joke.

    • Aaron

      Seems a bit drastic. Chill out man.

      • Kitty

        Who doesn't want a hover board?

  • tv_paul

    #19 The Keginator…I'll be bock!

    • ryan


  • LBF 4 ever
  • Mathias

    Anyone know where to buy #22

  • Trav1121

    #11 Haha Are we sure Mac isn't just a manaquin? He looks the same in every picture!

    • 29er

      After I saw this picture I read everything in Mac's voice…or what I thought would be the way Mac says it.

      • Paula_

        Just watch the 'Mac testing shit' videos.

        Then you'll know what Mac sounds like, providing you do not kill yourself after watching.

        – Fan testimonial: "The Chive wouldn't be the same without you…..BTW yelling 'first' is for douches – Notknowing"

        • Trav1121

          Does it sound robotic, like he is being voiced and controlled by someone with a remote control and a mike? Hmmmm…

          • Paula_

            Mac is operated the same way as Kermit.

            – the one you love to hate

            • GeorgiaRosa

              can we have a video of you testing things Paula please..;)

  • Shea

    #20 no thanks

    • Claude

      You say that now, but at bar time, when the hotties are gone but the larger girls are still lingering, this will ensure you don't go home alone.

  • MigraineBoy

    The title of this post sounds like what Yoda would say if he was constipated.

  • ChivingNtheOC

    I have the stuffed hamburger thing. Works great!!

  • Steve

    Nooooooo. This topic went from 27 photos down to 24. Yes, those 3 were a bit un-PC but they were oh so funny!!!!!!!

    • lucid_eye

      what the hell, fuck PC I want chive to get edgy every once in a while.

  • TXChiver

    Mac your hair IS nice and your posts are killing it!

  • Amir

    they have most of these things on "this is why I'm broke", go for it Mac

  • dollybakerton

    #11 i would like a note from that bearded beauty too

  • Mation

    #2 I was totally about to get online and order one of these until I found out they don't actually make fire. 😦

    • HatBomb

      Dammit, there goes my hopes and dreams…

  • SilentWrath

    Good lord, if that's what you want then why don't you just walk on some Legos to get the same effect?

  • Dave

    Damn, I already saw 90% of these on

    • Anonymous

      I'm shocked they didn't put the killer wale boat/submarine on this post.

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