Apparently everybody is planning for the end of the world, this time it’s Noah’s Ark (16 Photos)

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102 49
  • justin

    burn it

    • Paul

      Your a idiot!!!

      • Thumbs down


  • Matt


    • Derp

      No, Noah made the first one. This one is second.

      • geno

        I see what you did there

    • kryptonian

      Ouch Matt! Must be really gut wrenching to be beaten a few seconds to top place. Better luck next time buddy!

  • #1paulafan

    Paula rules!

    • Yeahhh

      You know what's even worse than a troll? A troll wanna be.

  • Chdrey

    holy mother of god…

  • Bertagnolli


    • Derp


  • fotnot

    Pretty impressive…but if original…no motor. :( still kinda cool

  • Tillman61

    That's a lot of wood.

    • Mike Hobson

      That's what she said…

    • cweed

      Wait till FLBP and you will see a lot of wood.

    • Bahah

      Thats what your mom said too!

  • xjrich

    this isnt where i parked my car

  • @kilefoot

    Good call, and only 1.3 million

  • Nigel

    No room for unicorns, I see. Typical.

    • Frank M

      #7. I'm almost positive that Moses didn't own a circular saw.

  • Ba Durr

    I bet the unicorns are still late for the disembarkation.

    • Paladin

      disembarkation, nailed it.

  • lemurfart

    never really thought about it before, but the noah's ark idea is retarded. you wouldn't be able to fit 2 of every living thing on there

    • Underhill

      Doesn't the book say 2 pairs of the unclean and 7 pairs of the clean?

    • kccopenguin

      Simple, what if Noah's Ark wasnt really a boat, but instead a collection of DNA… im not saying it was aliens….but it was aliens!

    • uh... Yeah.

      Says the man with the username "lemurfart"….

    • Wisti

      Every living thing in the area he resided in? Yes he could. I doubt he sailed to the Americas, Australia etcetera collecting animals before the flood. They only had to live like that for 40 days so comfort isn't really important. and he could crowd several hundred species there. Then they get off the boat and evolution occurs ^_^

      • Wisti

        Well…they'd be pretty atrophied by that time…but at least the tigers wouldn't try to eat the lambs when they disembarked since neither'd be able to run ^_^

      • RYNO!

        Except for the fact that you have to have gene pool diversity or everything would have incested itself into retarded extinction within a few generations. Science beats religion every time.

        • Thom

          It doesn't really sound like you know too much about science…

        • Yep

          Two words. Transitional fossils (human). Where they at? And your comment is hypocritical. How did anything start then.

          • Pretty Smile

            Ardipithecus ramidus ~4.4 million years ago
            Australopithecus afarensis ~3.6 mya
            Australopithecus africanus ~3 mya
            Homo habilis ~2 mya?
            You need some more or will this satisfy?

            • MylesofStyles

              More please. First year Anthropology is not that impressive.

            • Steve

              awesome lol. a little anthropology goes a long way. best reponse ever.

          • It's Science

            School. Return to it! Grandparent is correct. A genetic pool of just 2 parents is unlikely to successfully repopulate a species. As for "How did anything start then"? Evolution is a slow process of selective pressures which results in genetic divergence of separate populations. A Chimp didn't birth out 2 Homo Sapiens which then went on to populate the world. The fossil record we have supports this. There are plenty of "Transitional fossils" showing that slow change. We don't have the complete fossil record because fossilization is rare in itself, much less finding those fossils. There is no transitional fossil of a half human half chimp because that's not how it works.

            • MylesofStyles

              For a person preaching education, you're quite the fucking retard. You're assuming all Christians are "Literalists". The majority are "Contextualists", meaning that they don't take the Bible literally word for word, rather than draw from the messages contained within. School. Return to it!

              • european

                Yet that is how we (the rest of the world) see 'merika

          • monstrinho

            Futurama says it better than i could.

            You're a willfully ignorant boob if you think religion answers any question better than science.

            • Son_of_Mongo

              And the lot of you are arrogant morons if you think that science is all that matters. Nice job insulting the religious Chivers, people.

              • Arrogant Moron

                Arrogant maybe. However I'd say the morons are the ones that believe a 2000 year old book of fables better explains the world we live in than rational thought and experimentation. Religion continues to exist today because it is pressed upon our impressionable youth by parents who refuse to accept that what they have believed in their entire lives is wrong, and by those too unintelligent to understand the answers science provides to their questions. It's easy for idiots and the indoctrinated to believe in magic; that doesn't make it true though.

                • Chris

                  Guess I'm a moron :-/ My parents didn't force me into anything and I actually majored in biology. Took plenty of classes that taught evolution and the theories behind it just so I could get a complete picture of both sides

                • Son_of_Mongo

                  Well, of course they don't want to think what they believe is wrong. That's just common sense, That doesn't make people religious stupid. And yet you act like religious people are so evil to teach our children about our values and what we believe in. People have values. People believe in what they feel is right. Why can't people like you get that through their skulls – it's not idiots and 'indoctrinated' youths that keep religion alive. I dare you to tell me that my German professor (Who is Catholic) is stupid, despite the fact that he knows German, Latin, Greek, is teaching himself Chinese, knows Old English (Pre-1066), and is generally one of the hardest working and most respected teachers at the whole institution.
                  As for "answers science provides to their questions," that's a very weak argument. Now, I do recognize that science is nothing to shake a stick at – the shear wealth of information is extremely impressive. But religious people feel that reason and science alone is NOT the answer, and that an amount of faith in something greater than themselves helps to provide them with some of the answers that they seek. That doesn't make them fools.

              • louistulley

                Not everyone has to share the same beliefs… It isn't our jobs to rid the world of opinions that are different than our own.

                • Son_of_Mongo

                  Exactly how I feel. I really don't give a damn if your Atheist, Catholic, Hindu, Jewish – as long as you respect that others believe differently from you and don't make snide comments about how moronic you think another's beliefs are, we can get along just fine. The ones that can't do those basic things are just plain arrogant. Its the intolerance that I hate.

                  • underwhelmed

                    What if the comments are funny?

                  • Tolerant Atheist

                    You stated: "And the lot of you are arrogant morons if you think that science is all that matters. Nice job insulting the religious Chivers, people. "

                    Granted, the guy you were replying to was also being insulting, but you paint the whole lot of repliers giving the sciencey info with the same brush. You ended up being just as disrespectful as the guy you were responding to, which would be fine if you limited your response to just that one guy, but you didn't. So look in the mirror and confront your own intolerance and hypocrisy.

                    For the record I'm one who believes science is what matters. I don't begrudge others for their beliefs though. Believe whatever you want. Since I believe science is what matters then that alone makes me an arrogant moron in your book, right?

    • dorkfish

      THAT is the story from the Bible you think is retarded?

      • Thomas

        Retarded might not be the best choice of words, but a "story" none the less.

      • monstrinho

        They're all retarded.

    • Bud

      Ya, there's a couple holes in that story… For one, what did the animals eat? Animals eat other animals. Maybe we are missing a few more species.

    • IMVHO

      It does explain all those inbred giraffes and elephants.

      Where was Noah from again? Oh, the zoo according to a child's picture book, riiiiight.

    • Guest

      I don't know if you realize how MASSIVE The Ark was. It was really freaking huge.

      • imsouthern82

        Also, no swimmy or floaty animals. so all fish, ducks etc were fine.

        • monstrinho

          ducks are therefore EVIL!

          • MathNerd

            then fish are evil that should be consumed…?

      • lucid_eye

        the dimensions are at the top of the post, and a the worlds largest ship could not contain every species on the earth.

        • Frank M

          You mean two of every species along with enough food for the animals to survive. I read that 99% of all the creature throughout time are extinct.

          The ark is 130 meters long, 29 meters wide and 23 meters high.

          A single Brontosaurus was approximately 21-27 meters long & 4.6 meters tall at the hips & weighed around 33-38 tons. It also ate a tremendous amount of plant material daily just to sustain itself. Now add a second Brontosaurus & put them on a boat (hilarity & sinking I presume).

  • BM7

    Will he put kangaroos on it?

  • sfb101

    "PING" Noah… I want you to build an Ark "PING"

    • Chivacy Please

      Right….what's an ark?

      • Bill Cosby Himself

        Right….What's a cubit?

    • Claude

      Bill Cosby?

    • Noah


    • Noah

      Am I on Candid Camera?

  • Tyler Rauch

    pretty sure this is for the movie coming out tho right?

  • tv_paul

    #1 When asked why he built it " Chicks dig arks, especially PETA chicks"

    • RYNO!

      But those chicks tend to be super hairy and use that all natural deodorant crap without all the stink blocking ground up baby seals in them. So you know, there's that…

  • Mike Duncan-Rose

    Does'nt IKEA have the plans for this for $2?

    • Unfkngblvbl

      There's a free set of plans in every hotel drawer.

  • BTW

    Make sure to leave the spiders behind this time around please.

  • KCCO

    Man what a waist of time, money and wood! Although, 3000 tourists a day. If he charges them all like $5 each. 3000×365(roughly)x5=5475000. Man I got to build me an ark!

    • xjrich

      mixed emotions?

    • bcanddc

      "Waist" is the mid-section of your body. "Waste" is the word you're looking for. Grammar, a lost art.

      • KCCO

        Oh I'm so sorry! Hows this?:
        Man what a WASTE of time, money and wood! Although, 3000 tourists a day. If he charges them all like $5 each. 3000×365(roughly)x5=5475000. Man I got to build me an ark!
        Better now Mr. Nazi? I really hope this turns your day around! Chive On!

        • KCUPE

          That was a step in the right direction. Overall it's still a failing grade. "Hows" should be "How's" since it is short for "How is". A colon shouldn't follow a question mark. There should be a comma after "money". "Although, 3000 tourists a day." is a sentence fragment and needs to be revised to form a complete sentence. The use of "like" in the next sentence fragment should be removed and the whole thing revised to form a complete sentence. "Man I got to build me an ark" needs to be completely revised as well since it's only considered correct if your teacher is Larry the Cable Guy.

          KCUPE (Keep calm and use proper English)

          • mr jingles

            "Man I got to build me an ark" needs to be completely revised as well since it's only considered correct if your teacher is Larry the Cable Guy.

            there should be a comma after well, dick head. :)

            • Richard

              No there shouldn't. You need to capitalize the beginning of your sentence though.

          • KCCO

            The comma after money would be referred to as an "Oxford" comma, and its usage is widely debated amongst people that would call themselves experts.

            Keep Calm and Chill Out. We could all correct everyone's syntax and grammar, and I'm sure someone can find something in this post to correct.

      • IMVHO

        Is that grammar, or spelling? Me thinks it's the ladder, if you will.


        • Jinkies.


        • KCCO

          Latter…not ladder…….OH screw it…KCCO! I get your point!

        • IMVHO

          There are two born every minute… ;-)

          • Unfkngblvbl

            Wow, so much fail.

  • kevin

    totaly cool it rocks

  • Sterling Rod

    I know who I am hunting down when the shit hits the fan

  • rebecca

    Screams "Evan Almighty" to me..

  • TheChris

    I remember the first time I wasted money

    • geno


    • Tylhhj

      $5 each. 3000×365(roughly)x5=5475000
      You are a jack ass.

  • HoustonCHIVES

    freaky deaky dutch…

  • sod

    potensial dere ? i dun,no? or is it just plain wank?

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