View Comments

I wish they weren’t, but these things are all just too true (32 Photos)

December 13, 2012 | In: Facts, Funny, Nailed It, Random

Follow Alec on Tapiture

Category: Facts, Funny, Nailed It, Random

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

#1 no power meow?

At least I have the power to be… FJIIIHIIIIIIiIiIiIiIIiIiIiIIiiIihHAARRSTTTSTTTH!!111!!!

Aaaaahh…. was it good for you too Alec?

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "meow about keep on, keepin' on…. 99.5% of the time we just say 'moar' and 'she's so hot'……. then there is paula…. idk wtf you are, or wtf u look like… but keep trollin' trollin' trollin' – whale huntr"

SmokeyTheBear

Murray Christmas Paula…

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Thank you so much dear! <3 When I read 'Murray' I squirted a little…

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "CHIVE admins, can you block this rude poster from commenting on the site? I know this is to be expected online, but Paula's snide comments have gotten excessive and out of control. – Janelle"

#1paulafan

The thought of you squirting troll juice drives me insane! MOAR

Tothe

Paula is a man. You are gay.

#1paulafan

So you assume I am man? Just because my loins ache for Out beloved Troll.

Yuppp

You are even worse than her/him/it.
Thisistruth

Paula is a man. He lives in Canada. Although, you know that.

urinal puck

Don't be trashing Canada like that please, and thank you.
http://thechive.com/ Paula_

<img src="http://i.qkme.me/3p7t7b.jpg">
Hugs,
Paula
- the one you love to hate

Stark

Ohhh yeah who else is excited for game of thrones season 3??!!

Slim Jim

nope, seen her pics on hump day she is hot.
Slim Jim

nope, seen her on hump day, she is a gorgeous redhead

Please

Come on Smokey, no need for that.

SmokeyTheBear

Scrooges need the most love. Tis the season.

lucid_eye

I think #30 fits you better
FNG

Lets have sex
sam

I'm not sure why, but I have a sneaking suspicion that paula is a dude. Thoughts?

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Why! Do! They! Keep! Saying! That!!1!?
Shees, I'm even in yesterdays Hump Day gallery! Those asshat admins would choke kittens before posting a dude in Hump Day!
At least SOME Chivers got it…:

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "This is the most positive feedback I've seen for you in a while Paula. Keep showing boobs – Duder"

savagecabbage

So now that we know you're a soul-less ginger daywalker, is there a possibility we'll see you in the redhead gallery?

Travis

I like Paula. Keeps it fresh. Everyone else is a broken record

Thisistruth

The other day I found an old onion in a bag in the back of my pantry. Part of it had liquefied and the mere smell of it caused me to gag. That putrid, decaying onion was like a spring day compared to Paula's act. The dude needs to give it up.

sam

Prove it

bob

just a quick question. i'm curios as to how many billable hours you've spent in your life refreshing websites to try and be clever with a "first"???

just imagine the possibilities if you took that dedication and put it toward something constructive.

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Ha!
Who says I don't bill my hours?
<img src="http://i.qkme.me/3p7t7b.jpg">
Hugs,
Paula
- the one with a lot of billable hours

lucid_eye

#13 I have the same problem with making comments about Kate Upton being hot, but I cant believe I was beat by Paula again, because this comment is ……………….. um boobs. happy hump all

Unfkngblvbl

Dude, it's Thursday.

lucid_eye

fuck I work way too much. Well happy burnsday then.

IrishInNJ

#16 Ironically this post is annoying….

rus

As is your acknowledgement of it and my comment about that.

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

#32 well… it's not that good…. No really, I'm dead serious.

Hugs,
Paula
- the one you love to hate

nate33uc

please get back on your meds paula, we miss the old, old you *24 hours off medication*

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Oh the irony…. I'd have to get OFF the meds….

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "I like Paula. Keeps it fresh. Everyone else is a broken record. – Travis"

FLAMES FAN

I dont mind having you around Paula, you keep things interesting. But making fun of Arrested Development, that's not trolling that's just plain mean. And i will not stand for it.

SmokeyTheBear

#27 I hate the dentist. Keep your high suicide rate hands out of my mouth please, thanks.

KCCO

Dentist: "Your gums are bleeding"
Me: "They wouldn't do that if you stopped sticking those sharp metal things in them!"
JustAnotherGuy

memeGuy

#31 Don't tell Mac!
Unfkngblvbl

#15 WTF kinda weird jeans are those?

CowboyChiver

Diamond gusseted… and yes, they're awesome.

http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

what's the difference?
Unfkngblvbl

Thanks! Are they expensive? My Wranglers keep ripping at that same spot.

lucid_eye

why were you paying such close attention to his crotch?

Unfkngblvbl

It's the center of the fucking photo and the topic of the picture.

Say ahhhh

They are called Ballroom Jeans and are available thru Duluth Trading Company
Very awesome, My voice is back to normal with these.

osirisoflight
DrGarnicus

Oh snap! Laughed out loud on this one!

Utah Chiver

Those are ballroom jeans!

Utah Chiver

…said the guy that didn't see the previous post because his phone didn't load it.

That Guy

Chuck Norris invented them long before Duluth… http://artofmanliness.com/trunk/2180/chuck-norris…

AceGtemp

#31
Haha nailed it

nate33uc

why is the hoover over so HUGE??
greyphilosophy

My cat was using a toilet at 6 months. You were still shitting in diapers. Yes, that means my cat is more awesome than you are.

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

I mean… does ANYBODY think #32 is better than say… The Wire? Six Feet Under? Dexter? The Unit? Hell, The Shield even?

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "SHHHHH………..Stop breathing. – urinal puck"

SmokeyTheBear

Arrested Development is way too underrated.
http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

different genres, probably some people prefer that kind of comedy over drama, suspense, etc :/ all of those are awesome though

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

I hate it when you guys get serious.

HEY GUYS LET'S MAKE ANOTHER FLAMING HOVER CAT!!1!

Hugs,
Paula
- the one you love to hate

http://www.facebook.com/jbvancamp Jb Van Camp

The shield!
http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

again xD sorry for not sharing your peculiar sense of humor and delicate taste, dear

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Yeah whatever. HEY GUYS LOOK AT FLAMING HOVER CAT GO!!1! FREE BARBECUE AFTER THE RUN!!1!

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "Go away! It's not Norma stitz – JSJ"

http://twitter.com/julesmarie310 @julesmarie310

I love that he/she/it has to post a self assuring quip by writing dumb ass fan testimonials at the end of each post. No one here cares you have an asinine troll "fan base".

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Oh hi there gorgeous, care for a free drink?

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "I love that he/she/it has to post a self assuring quip by writing dumb ass fan testimonials at the end of each post. No one here cares you have an asinine troll "fan base". – @julesmarie310"

jim thorton

#21
Yup, I hate talking on the phone

http://twitter.com/julesmarie310 @julesmarie310

I burn more calories talking to my sister, than when I run on the treadmill.

tv_paul

#30 This from a guy who asks kids to sits on his lap in exchange for candy.

wantomas

Right? And he works for one fucking day, then sits around judging everyone for the remaining 364.

JoeyW311

Who the hell is Paula? And why should anyone care?

Gramp

You must be new here… Our beloved Paula is a goddess amongst us regular Chivers. The pearl amongst us swines…

Yeahhh

Why would you lie to the noob?
Taters

Paula reminds me of someone who would buy a bunch of Chive shirts before being sold out, then post them on ebay for 3 times the regular cost.

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

I never bought a Chive shirt. For realsies. True story too.

I DID fold a ceiling cat once though! http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2008…

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "Paula- a celebrity type among trolls, – non nasty -highly intelligent, can be some what annoying, hilariously funny & sometimes hilariously unfunny too….whatever you say to Paula to try to wind her up she'll invariably bat you right out of the park..with her usual style & pizazz.. – GeorgioRosa"

GeorgiaRosa

*Georgia I'm a woman didn't you know..lol

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Uhhhmmm…. this is kind of weird…. I've made a mistake. My FIRST! I usually copy the name in to the fan testimonial database but must have typed it manually…
I'm soooooo not ashamed!

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "Are you becoming a nice troll? I don't know if I'm ok with it…and it also might be a trap! – 617Chiver"

GeorgiaRosa

I'm so honored to have caught you out of your very first mistake…I was there when it happened..*so chuffed*

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

…and I'm so glad a cute redhead was present at this hysterical (or was it historical?) moment…. <3 http://i.imgur.com/NEoFw.jpg

BTW stuffed…?? OH!! CHUFFED!!1! My ba…. UH NO! THAT WAS INTENTONAL!!1!

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "Darn, I thought I figured it out with that one. At any rate, keep doing what you are doing. Sometimes your comments make me laugh harder than the pics."

GeorgiaRosa

oh why Thank you Paula *curtsies* *blows kisses* and I came along totally unprepared without any gift/jpg for you…I send you the gift of love albeit in a stalky internetty type way..

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

That'll do ***, that'll do.

Hugs,
Paula
- the one you love to hate
GeorgiaRosa

Hey !! Paula! Paula! Paula!

Thank you for the totally gorgeous photo, I have set it as my wallpaper..:) !!

<3
http://thechive.com/ Paula_

So you use a rose Paula gave you as a wallpaper… Meow what will your boyfriend think of that…?

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "meow about keep on, keepin' on…. 99.5% of the time we just say 'moar' and 'she's so hot'……. then there is paula…. idk wtf you are, or wtf u look like… but keep trollin' trollin' trollin' – whale huntr"
GeorgiaRosa

If he existed, I know for sure he'd be really jealous.XD
http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Ooooohhh……!!! So you're single or in to girls….
You totally did not fall for that, no really!!1!
Either way: <3

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "How can you not like this shit? It's gold -trl87"
GeorgiaRosa

Paula Paula Paula….what what…you fishing for information here…I could be mistaken I think you are totally flirting with me..,xxx <3 <3 <3
http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Whaaaat? Flirting? Me, with a cute <3 redhead like you??!?

Hell no, everybody knows I hate redheads; those unnatural freaks of nature, yecch, with those lov…. uuhmm… loathsome freckles… bleh, gross!!1!

Hugs,
Paula
- the one you love to hate
GeorgiaRosa

Oh my goodness gracious Paula, all this flirting & communication between us….this could quite easily get out of control….
*swishes hair back & forth & smiles*
<3 <3<3
http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Out of control?! MEOW WE'RE TALKING!

*casually whips the hair on her feet aside to reveal her plastered and painted toenails, all 12 of them.

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "I made the testimonials? I'm not sure whether to be flattered or concerned. – MarthaJeane"
http://thechive.com/ Paula_

No one else is reading this, right? Naaaah….

Hugs,
Paula
- the one you love to hate
GeorgiaRosa

eh….course not..this is totally p&c

lucid_eye

Paula is the adorable little creature that John locked in the basement years ago, but she somehow keeps getting out and causing trouble. She is kind of like Golum really a hideously foul creature that is so ugly and demented, that after some time it grows on you and you see it as a cute pet.
GeorgiaRosa

Paula- a celebrity type among trolls, – non nasty -highly intelligent, can be some what annoying, hilariously funny & sometimes hilariously unfunny too….whatever you say to Paula to try to wind her up she'll invariably bat you right out of the park..with her usual style & pizazz..

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

I'm not that smart.
I only managed to steal the admins WiFi because Johns password for EVERYTHING is: Kleenex. Makes you wonder…

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "does this bitch really write down comments people have said about her? LMAO. – George Costanza"

PDiddily420

Here's 3 fresh testimonials for you, Paula!

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Yeah but I wrote the first one myself so that doesn't count.

Hugs,
Paula
- Did I just write that out loud?

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

Yes you did.

Did I reply to myself just meow?

Hugs,
Paula
- Fan testimonial: "Here's 3 fresh testimonials for you, Paula! – PDiddily420"
GeorgiaRosa

ROFL..

JoeyW311

Well hello Paula!! Pleasure to meet you!

Yuppp

Paula is a water buffalo. That is all you need to know.

davo

looks like Paula is a lame internet loser who is desperately trying to grab some sort of fame by being a dipshit.

http://thechive.com/ Paula_

<img src="http://i.qkme.me/3p7t7b.jpg">
Hugs,
Paula
- the one you love to hate

English_Rob

This is known.

Unfkngblvbl

#21 LOL…my wife makes fun of me for this all the time.

Keither

same here… so true

CowboyChiver

#15 Stop laughing ladies, that shit ain't funny…

29er

Then you go to the sink and "accidentally" get some water splash on your pants…or try putting your hands over your crotch.
Turd F.

All you really have to do is lift your balls up after you're done peeing.
sfb101

Depends…

Unfkngblvbl

#29

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Dan

what does STAHP mean?

Unfkngblvbl

Stahp: Stop, in internet language.

http://twitter.com/aaalto @aaalto

hmm… i dont even remember those alternatives…
o well, i grew up in sweden in the late 70´s to 80´s so we still had ye´ oldie benches in school, and they sucked baaad…

LineHog

#17 Bullshit!

George Zip

Yeah, I just like getting new gadgetry.

George Zip

I haven't had a virus since the Word macro deals back in the 90s, and I didn't get that because of Norton AntiVirus. Go ahead and down vote me now.

dirtysteve

Norton ? Do you like being ripped off?

gallowaycreations

Still have the Mac I bought in 1991. Still works. Still useful.
ObiWan

Relax. It just means 3 other people got a deal on a used Apple product. What's the secondary market like for your PCs?

Bob

Well I bought my PC 4 years ago, and my free flip phone is almost as old. So I've spent $0 in three years. How much have you spent? And is your life better than mine because of Siri?

IDTenT

I mean… my macbook is still working great after 6 years and I've had Tiger, Leopard, Snow Leopard, and Lion on it. I did have to replace the battery once. But ……I don't hate Windows based PCs. They keep me in a job.
Dan

Well I've had my MacBook pro for 4 years, and my iPhone for 3. No problems with either.. yet all my buds have had to replace their Microsoft based PC over and over again. Odd.
shelbymac

I agree. My first Mac was bought in 2003 and it's still going with zero issues. I am running 6 Macs of various types with zero viruses and 3 out of four iPhones are still operating. All four would be but it's hard for any phone to survive being run over by a F-350.
Jahnny

Most of the time it has nothing to do with reliablity, some people just like having new stuf. No different then people who change cars every 2 years
boom!!!

I've had the same 3GS for three years now. No issues at all and I don't plan on "upgrading" any time soon. iTunes 11.0, on the other hand BLOWS.

davo

I refer to the iphones as iChumps ie people keep spending hundreds of dollars every couple of years buying shit that apple tells them they need (they don't).

Jim Kelly

#1 left side is all day while chiving, right side is right before dar

http://twitter.com/RugerHoyt @RugerHoyt

true story

http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

#32 true story

Zrock76

They are making another season but only for Netflix. It is going to be something like 12 episodes and each episode is going to be centered around one of the main cast members. I funke you not. I believe that i also heard that it is all going to lead into the Arrested Development movie.

nate33uc

movie if the netflix season goes well. All 12 episodes will be released simultaneously. that day will be and will forever be, the best day of my life….I think I need an analrapyst… "it wasn't the pronunciation i was worried about"

29er

#9 too many things to read.

Unfkngblvbl

Seriously. I also can't figure out how the damn graph works.

CLE

It's not you. The graph is incorrect. The scatter plot graph (the one incorrectly used) implies that things can exist on a sliding scale both horizontally and vertically. Which means that if you split it into 4 quadrants, items would be either a little of both, lot of both, or little of one an lot of the other (x2). In this case, something can't be both what you actually know and what you pretend you know.

The Observatator

I'm glad someone besides me noticed that…

http://facebook.com/daaneskjold Chazz_B

yeah very obtuse

btw love the foxtrot avatar
nate33uc

I gathered that i pretend to know arrested development in-jokes, and that I actually do know AD in-jokes. pretty simple

29er

#32 There's always money in the banana stand!

PDiddily420

"I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be dry run if you will, so I'm afraid now I have something of a mess on my hands."

nate33uc

still haven't gotten that tape recorder have you pdiddily?

Cheetos

No touching! No touching
BWaecker

"It's French for brother. Isn't it weird that I know that? I took like 4 years of Spanish."

sfb101

#1 And my camera, every time.
#11 Awesome.
http://www.facebook.com/ceara.reed Ceara Reed

#22 is blasphemous against my cupcakes. HOW DARE YOU! :p

ComeOn

Please make me cupcakes and a sandwich.

Snuggs

#19 and you're rich as shit

lazyJAKE

The greatest love story ever told. There's nothing like watching a monster kidnap a bitch and trying to force her to fall in love with him. It really tugs at the heart strings.

Stick

#10
This is why you use LastFM
Stick

#23
So, if there is someone out there who has it worse than me, I shouldn't feel bad, because it could be worse.
Does that mean if that I feel good about my station in life or what I have, I shouldn't feel good about it, because there is always going to be someone out there who has it better?

Martin Frank

You completely missed the joke.
michaelscarn

The joke is Marines are taught to shoot in between breaths for the most accurate shot, so the joke is while he was breathing he shot and missed the target. BOOM roasted.

1 2 Next »