Send download link to your phone:
- OR -
Google Play to download.
December 13, 2012 |
In: Facts, Funny, Nailed It, Random
Follow Alec on Tapiture
Category: Facts, Funny, Nailed It, Random
#1 no power meow?
At least I have the power to be… FJIIIHIIIIIIiIiIiIiIIiIiIiIIiiIihHAARRSTTTSTTTH!!111!!!
Aaaaahh…. was it good for you too Alec?
- Fan testimonial: "meow about keep on, keepin' on…. 99.5% of the time we just say 'moar' and 'she's so hot'……. then there is paula…. idk wtf you are, or wtf u look like… but keep trollin' trollin' trollin' – whale huntr"
Murray Christmas Paula…
Thank you so much dear! <3 When I read 'Murray' I squirted a little…
- Fan testimonial: "CHIVE admins, can you block this rude poster from commenting on the site? I know this is to be expected online, but Paula's snide comments have gotten excessive and out of control. – Janelle"
The thought of you squirting troll juice drives me insane! MOAR
Paula is a man. You are gay.
So you assume I am man? Just because my loins ache for Out beloved Troll.
You are even worse than her/him/it.
Paula is a man. He lives in Canada. Although, you know that.
Don't be trashing Canada like that please, and thank you.
- the one you love to hate
Ohhh yeah who else is excited for game of thrones season 3??!!
nope, seen her pics on hump day she is hot.
nope, seen her on hump day, she is a gorgeous redhead
Come on Smokey, no need for that.
Scrooges need the most love. Tis the season.
I think #30 fits you better
Lets have sex
I'm not sure why, but I have a sneaking suspicion that paula is a dude. Thoughts?
Why! Do! They! Keep! Saying! That!!1!?
Shees, I'm even in yesterdays Hump Day gallery! Those asshat admins would choke kittens before posting a dude in Hump Day!
At least SOME Chivers got it…:
- Fan testimonial: "This is the most positive feedback I've seen for you in a while Paula. Keep showing boobs – Duder"
So now that we know you're a soul-less ginger daywalker, is there a possibility we'll see you in the redhead gallery?
I like Paula. Keeps it fresh. Everyone else is a broken record
The other day I found an old onion in a bag in the back of my pantry. Part of it had liquefied and the mere smell of it caused me to gag. That putrid, decaying onion was like a spring day compared to Paula's act. The dude needs to give it up.
just a quick question. i'm curios as to how many billable hours you've spent in your life refreshing websites to try and be clever with a "first"???
just imagine the possibilities if you took that dedication and put it toward something constructive.
Who says I don't bill my hours?
- the one with a lot of billable hours
#13 I have the same problem with making comments about Kate Upton being hot, but I cant believe I was beat by Paula again, because this comment is ……………….. um boobs. happy hump all
Dude, it's Thursday.
fuck I work way too much. Well happy burnsday then.
#16 Ironically this post is annoying….
As is your acknowledgement of it and my comment about that.
#32 well… it's not that good…. No really, I'm dead serious.
- the one you love to hate
please get back on your meds paula, we miss the old, old you *24 hours off medication*
Oh the irony…. I'd have to get OFF the meds….
- Fan testimonial: "I like Paula. Keeps it fresh. Everyone else is a broken record. – Travis"
I dont mind having you around Paula, you keep things interesting. But making fun of Arrested Development, that's not trolling that's just plain mean. And i will not stand for it.
#27 I hate the dentist. Keep your high suicide rate hands out of my mouth please, thanks.
Dentist: "Your gums are bleeding"
Me: "They wouldn't do that if you stopped sticking those sharp metal things in them!"
#31 Don't tell Mac!
#15 WTF kinda weird jeans are those?
Diamond gusseted… and yes, they're awesome.
what's the difference?
Thanks! Are they expensive? My Wranglers keep ripping at that same spot.
why were you paying such close attention to his crotch?
It's the center of the fucking photo and the topic of the picture.
They are called Ballroom Jeans and are available thru Duluth Trading Company
Very awesome, My voice is back to normal with these.
Oh snap! Laughed out loud on this one!
Those are ballroom jeans!
…said the guy that didn't see the previous post because his phone didn't load it.
Chuck Norris invented them long before Duluth… http://artofmanliness.com/trunk/2180/chuck-norris…
Haha nailed it
why is the hoover over so HUGE??
My cat was using a toilet at 6 months. You were still shitting in diapers. Yes, that means my cat is more awesome than you are.
I mean… does ANYBODY think #32 is better than say… The Wire? Six Feet Under? Dexter? The Unit? Hell, The Shield even?
- Fan testimonial: "SHHHHH………..Stop breathing. – urinal puck"
Arrested Development is way too underrated.
different genres, probably some people prefer that kind of comedy over drama, suspense, etc :/ all of those are awesome though
I hate it when you guys get serious.
HEY GUYS LET'S MAKE ANOTHER FLAMING HOVER CAT!!1!
again xD sorry for not sharing your peculiar sense of humor and delicate taste, dear
Yeah whatever. HEY GUYS LOOK AT FLAMING HOVER CAT GO!!1! FREE BARBECUE AFTER THE RUN!!1!
- Fan testimonial: "Go away! It's not Norma stitz – JSJ"
I love that he/she/it has to post a self assuring quip by writing dumb ass fan testimonials at the end of each post. No one here cares you have an asinine troll "fan base".
Oh hi there gorgeous, care for a free drink?
- Fan testimonial: "I love that he/she/it has to post a self assuring quip by writing dumb ass fan testimonials at the end of each post. No one here cares you have an asinine troll "fan base". – @julesmarie310"
Yup, I hate talking on the phone
I burn more calories talking to my sister, than when I run on the treadmill.
#30 This from a guy who asks kids to sits on his lap in exchange for candy.
Right? And he works for one fucking day, then sits around judging everyone for the remaining 364.
Who the hell is Paula? And why should anyone care?
You must be new here… Our beloved Paula is a goddess amongst us regular Chivers. The pearl amongst us swines…
Why would you lie to the noob?
Paula reminds me of someone who would buy a bunch of Chive shirts before being sold out, then post them on ebay for 3 times the regular cost.
I never bought a Chive shirt. For realsies. True story too.
I DID fold a ceiling cat once though! http://www.doobybrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2008…
- Fan testimonial: "Paula- a celebrity type among trolls, – non nasty -highly intelligent, can be some what annoying, hilariously funny & sometimes hilariously unfunny too….whatever you say to Paula to try to wind her up she'll invariably bat you right out of the park..with her usual style & pizazz.. – GeorgioRosa"
*Georgia I'm a woman didn't you know..lol
Uhhhmmm…. this is kind of weird…. I've made a mistake. My FIRST! I usually copy the name in to the fan testimonial database but must have typed it manually…
I'm soooooo not ashamed!
- Fan testimonial: "Are you becoming a nice troll? I don't know if I'm ok with it…and it also might be a trap! – 617Chiver"
I'm so honored to have caught you out of your very first mistake…I was there when it happened..*so chuffed*
…and I'm so glad a cute redhead was present at this hysterical (or was it historical?) moment…. <3 http://i.imgur.com/NEoFw.jpg
BTW stuffed…?? OH!! CHUFFED!!1! My ba…. UH NO! THAT WAS INTENTONAL!!1!
- Fan testimonial: "Darn, I thought I figured it out with that one. At any rate, keep doing what you are doing. Sometimes your comments make me laugh harder than the pics."
oh why Thank you Paula *curtsies* *blows kisses* and I came along totally unprepared without any gift/jpg for you…I send you the gift of love albeit in a stalky internetty type way..
That'll do ***, that'll do.
Hey !! Paula! Paula! Paula!
Thank you for the totally gorgeous photo, I have set it as my wallpaper..:) !!
So you use a rose Paula gave you as a wallpaper… Meow what will your boyfriend think of that…?
If he existed, I know for sure he'd be really jealous.XD
Ooooohhh……!!! So you're single or in to girls….
You totally did not fall for that, no really!!1!
Either way: <3
- Fan testimonial: "How can you not like this shit? It's gold -trl87"
Paula Paula Paula….what what…you fishing for information here…I could be mistaken I think you are totally flirting with me..,xxx <3 <3 <3
Whaaaat? Flirting? Me, with a cute <3 redhead like you??!?
Hell no, everybody knows I hate redheads; those unnatural freaks of nature, yecch, with those lov…. uuhmm… loathsome freckles… bleh, gross!!1!
Oh my goodness gracious Paula, all this flirting & communication between us….this could quite easily get out of control….
*swishes hair back & forth & smiles*
Out of control?! MEOW WE'RE TALKING!
*casually whips the hair on her feet aside to reveal her plastered and painted toenails, all 12 of them.
- Fan testimonial: "I made the testimonials? I'm not sure whether to be flattered or concerned. – MarthaJeane"
No one else is reading this, right? Naaaah….
eh….course not..this is totally p&c
Paula is the adorable little creature that John locked in the basement years ago, but she somehow keeps getting out and causing trouble. She is kind of like Golum really a hideously foul creature that is so ugly and demented, that after some time it grows on you and you see it as a cute pet.
Paula- a celebrity type among trolls, – non nasty -highly intelligent, can be some what annoying, hilariously funny & sometimes hilariously unfunny too….whatever you say to Paula to try to wind her up she'll invariably bat you right out of the park..with her usual style & pizazz..
I'm not that smart.
I only managed to steal the admins WiFi because Johns password for EVERYTHING is: Kleenex. Makes you wonder…
- Fan testimonial: "does this bitch really write down comments people have said about her? LMAO. – George Costanza"
Here's 3 fresh testimonials for you, Paula!
Yeah but I wrote the first one myself so that doesn't count.
- Did I just write that out loud?
Yes you did.
Did I reply to myself just meow?
- Fan testimonial: "Here's 3 fresh testimonials for you, Paula! – PDiddily420"
Well hello Paula!! Pleasure to meet you!
Paula is a water buffalo. That is all you need to know.
looks like Paula is a lame internet loser who is desperately trying to grab some sort of fame by being a dipshit.
This is known.
#21 LOL…my wife makes fun of me for this all the time.
same here… so true
#15 Stop laughing ladies, that shit ain't funny…
Then you go to the sink and "accidentally" get some water splash on your pants…or try putting your hands over your crotch.
All you really have to do is lift your balls up after you're done peeing.
what does STAHP mean?
Stahp: Stop, in internet language.
hmm… i dont even remember those alternatives…
o well, i grew up in sweden in the late 70´s to 80´s so we still had ye´ oldie benches in school, and they sucked baaad…
Yeah, I just like getting new gadgetry.
I haven't had a virus since the Word macro deals back in the 90s, and I didn't get that because of Norton AntiVirus. Go ahead and down vote me now.
Norton ? Do you like being ripped off?
Still have the Mac I bought in 1991. Still works. Still useful.
Relax. It just means 3 other people got a deal on a used Apple product. What's the secondary market like for your PCs?
Well I bought my PC 4 years ago, and my free flip phone is almost as old. So I've spent $0 in three years. How much have you spent? And is your life better than mine because of Siri?
I mean… my macbook is still working great after 6 years and I've had Tiger, Leopard, Snow Leopard, and Lion on it. I did have to replace the battery once. But ……I don't hate Windows based PCs. They keep me in a job.
Well I've had my MacBook pro for 4 years, and my iPhone for 3. No problems with either.. yet all my buds have had to replace their Microsoft based PC over and over again. Odd.
I agree. My first Mac was bought in 2003 and it's still going with zero issues. I am running 6 Macs of various types with zero viruses and 3 out of four iPhones are still operating. All four would be but it's hard for any phone to survive being run over by a F-350.
Most of the time it has nothing to do with reliablity, some people just like having new stuf. No different then people who change cars every 2 years
I've had the same 3GS for three years now. No issues at all and I don't plan on "upgrading" any time soon. iTunes 11.0, on the other hand BLOWS.
I refer to the iphones as iChumps ie people keep spending hundreds of dollars every couple of years buying shit that apple tells them they need (they don't).
#1 left side is all day while chiving, right side is right before dar
#32 true story
They are making another season but only for Netflix. It is going to be something like 12 episodes and each episode is going to be centered around one of the main cast members. I funke you not. I believe that i also heard that it is all going to lead into the Arrested Development movie.
movie if the netflix season goes well. All 12 episodes will be released simultaneously. that day will be and will forever be, the best day of my life….I think I need an analrapyst… "it wasn't the pronunciation i was worried about"
#9 too many things to read.
Seriously. I also can't figure out how the damn graph works.
It's not you. The graph is incorrect. The scatter plot graph (the one incorrectly used) implies that things can exist on a sliding scale both horizontally and vertically. Which means that if you split it into 4 quadrants, items would be either a little of both, lot of both, or little of one an lot of the other (x2). In this case, something can't be both what you actually know and what you pretend you know.
I'm glad someone besides me noticed that…
yeah very obtuse
btw love the foxtrot avatar
I gathered that i pretend to know arrested development in-jokes, and that I actually do know AD in-jokes. pretty simple
#32 There's always money in the banana stand!
"I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be dry run if you will, so I'm afraid now I have something of a mess on my hands."
still haven't gotten that tape recorder have you pdiddily?
No touching! No touching
"It's French for brother. Isn't it weird that I know that? I took like 4 years of Spanish."
#1 And my camera, every time.
#22 is blasphemous against my cupcakes. HOW DARE YOU! :p
Please make me cupcakes and a sandwich.
#19 and you're rich as shit
The greatest love story ever told. There's nothing like watching a monster kidnap a bitch and trying to force her to fall in love with him. It really tugs at the heart strings.
This is why you use LastFM
So, if there is someone out there who has it worse than me, I shouldn't feel bad, because it could be worse.
Does that mean if that I feel good about my station in life or what I have, I shouldn't feel good about it, because there is always going to be someone out there who has it better?
You completely missed the joke.
The joke is Marines are taught to shoot in between breaths for the most accurate shot, so the joke is while he was breathing he shot and missed the target. BOOM roasted.
theCHIVE.com on Facebook