21 Undisputed facts of Christmas

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  • Truth

    Were are the boobs in this post?

    • Greg

      Where you asking a question?

    • Thomas

      There are here.. writing the comment I just replied to.

    • CLE

      Your dumb. They're is not meant to be any boob pictures hear.

      • Sean

        "you're"

        • John

          I don't think you got it.

        • dutch

          idiot. "you're", "There", "are", "here"

          CLE make funny. Sean too stupid to get it.

          • Now That's Funny!

            T'what? I cuhnt hear you. I've got an ear infuhktion. Be'r as' me again!

      • windowlicker

        *Their*

    • Bob

      i think they may have started the 12-21-12 drinking early, this post seems phoned-in

  • Lona

    #14, #13

    Everybody in my office is suddenly laughing out loud. I wonder why 🙂

    • SkyVader

      Are you naked? Did you forget to brush your hair? Is there a sign taped to your back?

    • IrishInNJ

      It certainly has nothing to do with this effort by Mac. And the site was going so well….what garbage.

      • Woop

        You are an angry man arent you

        • DaddyD

          If you were Irish in New Jersey, you would be angry too.

          In fact, either one of those conditions is cause for anger.

  • Noah

    Brilliant

  • http://www.facebook.com/joshua.lopez.5494 Joshua Lopez

    fail

    • Willie

      Dumb shit

      • winfields

        Neither of you stupid fucktards have any sense of humor (nor do you have x-mas spirit) for that matter.

        • winfields

          I found it to be downright hilarous

          • http://www.facebook.com/Tomsfoolery TommyD

            You found this to be downright hilarious and THEY are the stupid fucktards?

            • Ass

              Yes … Have you not heard of sarcasm?

    • TheSaxMan

      Yeah this post is stupid as shit no wait… more stupid than shit. It would be a disgrace for a shit to be in level with this post

    • velvethammer

      i'm with joshua… i couldn't even get through the whole mass of this poor excuse for humor.

  • kyky

    #11 I thought the elves were their kids

    • http://www.facebook.com/saltytrey Trey Reeves

      That's disgusting! What's wrong with you?

  • Notme

    #10 Steelers Vs. Vikings. One of the Vikings many super bowl losses.

    • SkyVader

      Why are the Vikings purple? You'd be purple too if you choked that much.

      • Ya know

        Diehard Vikings fan here….It hurts too much!

    • PghFireCaptJohn

      Go Steelers

  • theHookah

    Batshit crazy post is Batshit Crazy.

    • winfields

      Pure Mac, All day… good job Mac, this post rules!

    • Pokes

      I think they just mixed up they're posts. This should probably be under, Would the Internet Lie.

      • Pokes

        Whoa, *their

        • Whoa There, Partner!

          The "whoa" makes that funny!

  • Harry Longbahls JR

    Lame…besides #11

  • CLE

    Could have been funnier…Chive, stick to what you're best at: finding funny pictures, not creating them.

    • like it is

      odds are Chive found these on the interweb…they don't make funny

    • China Man

      Surprisingly, Chive did not try to sell you any shit in this post….I think the end of the world may in fact be at hand….

    • Llort

      You should stick to what you're best at: .. not posting.

      • Payheed

        Shit talkers… Why do they come here if they hate this site?

        • CLE

          Don't hate it, love it…have for over 3 years. But that doesn't meaning have to love everything The Chive does.

          • http://www.facebook.com/Tomsfoolery TommyD

            YES IT DOES!! Why aren't you wearing the pink panties? They're LIMITED EDITIONS!!

            • Sick350Z

              Week 50 limited edition. Next week there will be more hard to get limited editions to buy. And then more limited editions. And then etc, etc…… Love the site. But, come on stop trying to sell me shit.

    • Meowmix

      Jesus Christ on rollerskates, people are such jaded dicks now

    • Anon

      Many of these were a good read. You can choose not to look at these if you dont wish to.

  • dennis

    #17

    It's sad but very true, I heard Olive and Sebastian had some serious substance abuse issues. You can't fly that way… you just can't

    • socalmarti

      Yep, pretty sure that's how grandma got runover.

      • Doc

        Apparently Olive is now doing a dime at Sing Sing for vehicular homicide. RIP Grandma

    • Love-a-Meme Man

      "Olive and Sebastian"… classic!

    • bah humbug

      kind of messes up the song too, when they sing about "Olive" the other reindeer …

      • Underbaker

        I guess that is why she would laugh and call poor old Rudolph names. Them drugs will make you mean.

  • CanadaChivette

    #5 what??

    • Guest

      Yeah. I mean, it's just Christmas here in Canada without a little spilt moose blood on the steps of…. that place our Prime Minister lives…

      • Guest

        Not Christmas, not Christmas! Ruined a perfectly humorless joke…

    • OhioChiver

      They obviously forgot about President Andrew Jacksons duels on the White House lawn. Many a sacrificial lamb fell. lol.

      • passwordistaco

        Nice story but no sitting president has ever been in a duel.Think about it a second. He did kill a guy that accused him of cheating, before he was the Prez.

    • Bob

      #so far…

    • 2tonrooster

      Chop chop, Mr. Obama. You did promise us change, remember?

  • http://www.dennispikephoto.com Dennis

    #21 mind officially blown

  • cDubya

    That's 5 minutes of my life ill never get back…

    • Seriously?

      It took you five minutes to read that?

      • TheSaxMan

        You read slow

    • G_Had

      Did you ever get back any second of your life? If yes, please teach me your knowledge.

      • cDubya

        I could teach you, but then I'd never get those years back either.

      • Cowboy1354

        I could teach you, but I have to charge. Just could not help myself it's Friday.

    • YourLifeIsPointless

      As if you were going to use those five minutes productively.

  • jeff

    I enjoyed this post… well done

    *golf clap*

    • You're an ass

      Why not actual clap ?

    • winfields

      I also enjoyed it… pure Mac genious

      • LudditeSpellingPoPo

        Yes, pure geniousnessness…

  • kenk85

    eh.. this album was a bit of a stretch..

  • >Implying

    Which website did you guys steal from this time?

    • rickross

      hahahaha!!!!

    • Vet

      Don't be a dick.

  • NOOO

    yea that was dumb

    • Yea

      Pretty suck

  • CaptainInsano

    #15 That damn $5 foot long!

  • Chuck Schick

    I was believing this until #3.

    • Joe

      Agreed. 98 degrees album isn't even in the top 10 selling Christmas albums…Elvis's album is #1.

      • davo

        who the fuck is 98 degrees?

  • Googan

    I learned a lot form this post… Thanks Chive!

  • Hrdwood

    #16 Are jew kidding me?

    • tv_paul

      It's our latkes-free philosophy

      • Hrdwood

        But I always thought that was HakunaPotato???

      • Verbal_Kint

        It's the way you feeeeelt,
        when you ate your geeeeeeelt…

      • Verbal_Kint

        just make a wiiiiiish,
        and eat your gefilte fiiiiish…..

        • Hrdwood

          Streisand just called… interested in recording a new duets album with you… all Christmas songs… go figure.

    • SKEEBLER

      yeah maybe if they spell Hanukkah backwards!

  • Bernard

    I'm a huge fan of the CHIVE and they rarely miss but this post rimmed out.

    • Dave

      You got rimmed out? Wtf?

      • Bernard

        Ok, using another basketball term…..it was a brick.

        • Bernard

          You got bricked out ? Wtf

    • Everyone. Ever.

      Yeah, this shit was fucking retarded. Someone doesn't understand how to funny.

  • tv_paul

    #11 That's not the reason, the reason is he only comes once a year and it's always down chimneys ( not even the Japanese are into that fetish)

    • Yaknow

      Tvpaul…not sure if you are a really good troll or not?! What's your deal?

      • tv_paul

        No deal, I just like to post stuff. Not trying to hurt or bother anyone and I usually only rag on people I'm fans of their posts like verbal or funkiller. Have a Merry Christmas.

    • Verbal_Kint

      Santa Bukkake-claus?

  • G_Had

    #14 That's the Vietnamese one, the Japanese one's in the background on the bottom.

  • Bhodi

    #19 I could see someone thinking this is a crazy true law and actually do it.

    • ManKillingEvil

      We don't do that anymore We now attach a chain to the back of a vehicle and drag the body down the street while sing "santa claus is coming to town." Less legal issues plus everyone think your in the christmas sprit

      • tv_paul

        Oh so you takem' for a "Slay ride".

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