Daily Morning Awesomeness (35 Photos)

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  • http://cinemaplastique.tumblr.com MigraineBoy

    #27 Women are like a racetrack, the more curves, the better.

    • Wittry

      Still doesn't explain why NASCAR is so popular.

      • Tankus

        Nobody said nascar was better…

        • Smitty

          Hey, assbasket, he didn't say it was better, he said popular. Nascar's popularity despite only having four curves is the unexplained part.

          Derp.

          • dirtysteve

            LESS OF YOUR FUCKING ATTITUDE

      • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

        'Cause 'Mericans…

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – Fan testimonial: "You provide a spark to our site. – Anonymous"

        • Bob@thechive.com

          Hey shithead, It is also popular in Dubai, Japan and Mexico

          • Smitty

            Cite and reference your claims please. What races on what tracks, when?

            F-1 and Rally do enjoy global popularity but Nascar I find hard to believe.

    • GeorgiaRosa

      you'd love me so!!, I have curves & bends & humps all over the place…:P

      • Levian

        Get this girl on the DAR asap!

      • http://twitter.com/LosTorre @LosTorre

        Prove it

      • thebeefinjector

        Pics or you're lying…

      • sfb101

        So does Jabba…

    • dirtysteve

      As long as we can all agree the difference between curves and lumps.

    • Justin
  • MonkeyMadness

    #27 I want to bite that!

    • Jake

      It sure made my jaw drop.

    • Matt

      Me too

  • Tiber_Septim

    #13 I'm not a library book and I wouldn't mind if you checked me out, in fact please do
    #2 This girl has potential, awesome

    • suckitstan

      fuck off stan…quit being a piece of shit and leave…somebody had to say it…for everyone else KCCO

      • Smitty

        That escalated quickly.

        Who is Stan?

  • g3nXsLack3r

    #5 Fuck yo' couch.

    • http://twitter.com/LosTorre @LosTorre

      And not a flying duck was giving that day

  • Richard

    What part of "Wet cement" do you not understand?!? #5

    • BAW509

      The part that it is wet cement…it's concrete and I have no fucks to give.

      • Frank

        The cement is wet, it just turns out that so is the aggregate and sand.

  • gclark

    #13 Like a library book, Id like to check that out, open it and get inside it.

    • N8orius

      Then return it for another new one

    • Richard

      You get inside books? Entendres aren't whatever we want them to be.

    • Where's Dildo

      If you were a library book, I'd eat your butthole

      • wow

        Boy that escalated quickly

  • adonisallan

    #34 #35 KCCO Daniel Ferrier!!! To everyone like you, THANK YOU!!!

    • Tiber_Septim

      R.I.P Daniel

    • utila raised

      Rip from a fellow Sacramento chiver, sad story.

    • Edmund Dante

      He sounded like a fine and honorable gentleman. We should all wish to be so remembered. This is a terrible loss to his community as we have far and away too many assholes and not nearly enough men like this.

      • Mn dude

        Well stated. God bless and R.I.P. Daniel and my thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family.

    • US Ranger

      KCCO and thank you for all you have done. Rest well brother

    • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

      This one's for you Daniel. R.I.P.

    • RazorChiver

      Amen!! RIP Daniel and thanks for KCCOing

    • Teddy Roxspin

      R.I.P. Dan, and KCCO to friends and family – A fellow Sacramento Chiver!

    • Tanya Cain

      It is an honor and privilege just to know you. There is no one in this world I respect more. Thank you, Chive, for paying tribute to Dan.

    • HumpDan

      I hear everyday is Humpday, FLBP, Burnsday and Mind the Gap in Heaven. Don't rest in peace, party your face off and KCCO for eternity.

    • mmhmm

      RIP Daniel and Dave on Wheels.

    • TheVanityScore

      Daniel sounded like a great dude. R.I.P and KCCO buddy

    • KyleGamgee

      I'm so sorry for our loss. Chive on.

    • Red

      Rest in peace fellow Chiver.

      • davo

        good to see those gun laws are really working out, America

        • a friend

          Gun laws won't bring my friend Dan back. And gun laws won't prevent shootings in the future. Our judicial system won't be able to fix the deep-seated issues our society has with controlling emotions and creating tolerance. Those answers are only to be found within ourselves. So I suggest start treating others the way you want to be treated, instead of blaming the lack of gun control.

    • tYLoU

      May you KCCO in the after life Dan.
      – from a fellow Sacramento Chiver

  • Ay Jay

    #29 is genius…

    • Reality

      4) Hold the reset button until it goes back to default…

      • Turrebo

        5) Ask mom nicely for the antenna

  • Fernando

    #34 rest in peace fellow chiver

  • red

    #33 damn that redhead is hot O_O who is she? 😮

    • Brahh

      Fucking look that shit up brah..

      • Steve

        Did you seriously just say Brah, you fucking plumb smuggler.

    • SuperFrench

      Rachel Hurd-Wood, english actress.

      • Jayjo

        More like Hard-Wood. I am sorry

        • Yuppp

          Apology accepted.

  • LeO

    Wtf happen haha

    • Huh?

      Uhhh, what?..

  • PavlovsHotdog

    #7 I have an Augustus Gloop photo above my toilet. Much more apropos for the bathroom I believe…

    • KTmess

      It's funny cuz it rhymes with poop.

    • littlegreenwoman

      but this room IS the chocolate factory…

  • Wittry

    #15
    If I drive my car fast enough will it go all the way around that loop?! My hotwheels did that on that sweet track I had when I was a kid!

    • RobTalk

      yes. try it. no regrets.

    • Elliott

      It's called basic physics. Of course you can it will be fun

    • Smitty

      DO IT! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

    • Just Me

      Of course it will. Just make sure to hand your beer to your passenger first. You might need both hands on the wheel.

    • TheVanityScore

      i was gonna say skateboarders are gonna love that, but then i saw the bench in the way and that idea was ruined…

  • Elliot B.

    KCCO Daniel #34 #35

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      And the NRA wants to see everyone armed as that will "reduce gun crime".

      Fucking idiots.

      All the best to you, wherever you are, Sir.

      • Tanya Cain

        If you knew anything about Daniel, he is a member of the NRA, so please have some respect and don't use this spot to post your naive comments on gun control. Had Daniel had a gun on him, he may very well be alive today. And if it weren't for the armed security officer who shot the shooter, he may have gotten away. Gun control only works on civilians, criminals can ALWAYS get guns.

        • Sam

          leave it alone, both of you.

        • itstrue

          This is a stab wound in France. Just saying.

        • AnyoneForCoffee

          Armed guards at a sports bar?! Seriously?!

          And you don't see anything wrong with this? This is the society you want?

          These are measures seen in Jo'burg, Nairobi and Rio, all cities with runaway gun crime. This is the company the USA keeps with almost non-existent gun controls, manifesting itself here in the senseless murder of a good man in some stupid street fight because the belligerents were armed.

          There are more people shot dead in the US in just 12 hours than there are in the UK, which has strict gun controls, over *an entire year*. There's evidence for you to show such legislation works. I actually can't find any mention whatsoever of someone being shot dead in the UK in recent months. Searching US news however…..

          FFS, the police aren't even armed in the UK.

          Now produce evidence to show widespread gun ownership leads to lower gun deaths.

          (By the way, I work in law enforcement. I'm very confident I know a whole lot more about gun control than you.)

  • bad mother fucker

    that is one tasty burger #30

    • Brett

      might need a tasty beverage to wash it down

  • LeO

    #27

    • Tom?

      Yep. We saw it, too.

  • Coop

    #1 Yoga-Yoga-Yoga-Yogaaaaa Fire!

  • catch 22

    #5 aflac ??

  • http://www.superseedband.com AndySaximus

    #34 #35 I'm sorry for your loss man. KCCO

  • 3pleasantgentlemen

    #11 "And if mom still won't give me my gameboy back, I'll rip it from her! RIP IT FROM HER!!"
    That guy would look manlier doing kegel exercises.

    • Really?

      He's working out his jackass muscle quite well, though I'm pretty sure he's going to strain his douche by the end of the workout.

    • Yeahhh

      Looks like every high school kid at my gym.

    • TheVanityScore

      okay guys pay close attention this workout is called the ripped fairy. might wanna record it for future reference.

  • hugh.m@rshall.us

    #2 JESUS CHRIST FIND HER OMG

    • heywood jablowme

      agreed. Find her a kitchen and put her back in it.

    • cyclop

      Less teeth, more lips, hehe…

  • https://www.youtube.com/user/19ExecuteTheSounds87 AnItalianChiver

    #34 RIP. Daniel and Gabriel Cordova. When people will begin to use their brain to fight, instead of weapons, the world will certainly be better.

  • 3pleasantgentlemen

    #16 What's the opposite of coyote ugly?

    • GeorgiaRosa

      me thinkgs she was aiming for Foxy…..

      • MissVega84

        How cute:3 Its Holo from Spice and Wolf ❤

    • eggnog

      Damn it chive, I really didn't need ANOTHER fetish…

    • Jen

      fucking furries.

    • Mr_Cellophane

      House arrest? (Check the ankle)

    • Zucharelly

      Foxy Lady

  • http://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #29 explains how hackers are born…

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – Fan testimonial: "This website is way to Canadian/Paula pride. It's been fun, but I'm out. – LivesOver"

    • Loki

      YOUR OUT!? Is that a promise? You won't do it.

    • GI Joe

      The kid's out looking for a milkshake….

  • 3pleasantgentlemen

    #7 …and THIS is the chocolate factory…

    • GeorgiaRosa

      ugh! thanks for that I can't eat chocolate again!!!!!!

    • Garret

      Thanks, I needed a good laugh! KCCO!

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