So, I saw a sign from God…(28 Photos)

  • Guy

    #12 well since I'm married, about once a year as well

    • Backslash


    • Force Kin

      Me too but I manage more when its self inflicted.

    • MCSteve

      Damn, I've been married for over a year and don't have this problem.

  • Tiber_Septim

    #15 laughed harder than maybe I should have

  • Sam

    #20 and #22 Clever priests!!

    • Bobby

      #22 isn't too clever since he chose the wrong "altar".

  • Ken

    OMG these are legendary, the last one is a bit worrisome but still, GOLD!

    • Turrebo

      GOD, you mean…?

  • navydudeguy

    Jesus christ! I'm going to hell

  • randall

    #14 well fuck it then

  • teslawasrobbed

    This post proves that pastors watch porn too. I'd wager some of them even read theChive.

    • lolwut

      nooo.. i think its the lack of watching porn and internets and we all have dirty minds..

  • Theruxpin

    #4, #7, #10, I like how these signs make my deeply religious (and now deeply confusing) upbringing more hilarious, while adding a delightful new meaning to 'speaking in tongues'. I'm also surprised that the Pentecostals didn't pull out a snake handling pun. Wasted opportunities make the baby Jesus cry.

  • Theruxpin

    Can't believe 'idle hands are the devil's play-thing' is so under represented. It's just asking for a masturbation joke. It's always asking for a masturbation joke…

  • RealZoo

    Bob…you better hope the Almighty has a sense of humor…or else someone good be in troubleeee. Hahaha

    • Nodrog

      How could he not…. look at you.

  • AnItalianChiver

    #13 #28 My mind, my dirty dirty mind. STHAP!

  • dougvanniershow

    Proves I made the right decision about watching football on Sundays

  • A2_tha_MFK

    #5 It's this type of stupidity that amazes me daily; just how dumb human beings really are!

    • i don't get you, man


      • Greg

        If Christians came from Jews – why are there still Jews?

        • ...Nice...

          I don't think this possibly could have been explained better


          Because if all humans died, monkeys would evolve back into humans….right?!?

          • Stinky Dog

            Give it a few million years…

          • @arpra76

            also if he does die, does that mean his cousins will eventually give birth to him?

      • Anthro

        Greg explained it pretty well but the other answer is we evolved from a common ancestor not from monkeys, kind of like hillbillies are related to their brotherdad

        • Mark

          No, dumbass. We evolved from monkeys. Nobody in the year 2013 should be questioning this anymore. LOL. The reason monkeys still exist is that they continue to fill ecological niches that humans and other animals do not fill as well as they do. That said, some monkeys HAVE declined, and humans are at least in part responsible.

          • uradumbass

            Im not a creationist but if we evolved why have they found PRE human apes and Post human apes but STILL havent found the "missing" link?
            And there is a reason its called the THEORY of evolution…it hasnt been PROVEN yet either!

            • Anthro

              Actually they have found the missing link… Read a textbook for once oh an the link is called Australopithecus sediba in case you didn't know.

    • Random Pastor Guy

      Dude, I'm a pastor and this just makes me cringe…

  • guest

    is it me or are most of these possibly sexual

  • VanCan

    #7: only if you're lucky!
    #14: and that's Jésus, from prison… hahaha
    #22: The church of Snoop? =P

  • MigraineBoy

    #5 Because some of them kept believing in God?

  • Milo

    #25 Wtf some of these signs are porn. "Bend over and let me stick in
    Your ass in the parking lot
    While you squeeze the balls
    Praise Jesus Come on your
    F ace"

  • Lyra

    I know this post is about the messages, but I couldn't help but wonder at some of the times for worship!!
    #1, #21, especially #18

  • boob_cuddler

    #16 haha what if he's not the father?

  • readybeeill

    #27 can't be real can it?

    • Jay

      You sir, have never visited the south….

      • truth

        Church in the Valley in Leakey, Texas. That should tell you all you would need to know.

        • Perkins Maxwell

          Rip that tax-exempt status away. People can believe whatever they want to believe but I see no reason to give pastors exemptions from paying their fair of share of taxes when they agitate one way or the other politically. And before anyone jumps on me — I would say EXACTLY the same thing about, say, a black church in the Northeast that told its consitutents to vote for the brother, not the white guy, the Christian not the Mormon, etc.

          • Underbaker

            So you are saying that if someone gets a tax exempt status because of the Freedom of Religion part of the constitution that they must give up their Freedom of Speech part to keep it?

            • kbutt

              Son, your one clueless idioto.

            • Kyle

              I don't know if you're being deliberately obtuse or not, but right-wing nutjob churches can and do speak freely on any number of topics including politics. But telling people specifically who to vote for violates tax-exempt status. The principle of tax exemptions for religions is dubious enough.

              • Underbaker

                So by your statement because I lean towards the right wing I am unintelligent and crazy. Unless you're stating that my angle is greater then 90% (my belly might fit that description). Nice to know we are starting an open minded conversation. I don't know tax law, but have now done a little research in the area and it may be spiting hairs but it looks like the only way to convict a church of endorsing a candidate is if they are specifically named, because churches are allowed to support ideas and beliefs.

    • Your Mother

      They should have to start paying taxes now!

  • Shepard Wong

    #25 Can I get an AMEN?!?!

  • _DoC_
  • Zeke88

    You can make your own church signs (like some of these were) at

  • oo0o00ooo0o

    #4 I can't wait to make out with all my lady friends in Hell forever.

    • voyeur

      that's hot 🙂

  • Canucks_Rule

    #14 – jesus, not so rough.

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