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The best of Actual Advice Mallard (20 Photos)

January 24, 2013 | In: Facts, Funny, Meme

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Category: Facts, Funny, Meme

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sean m.

nailed it

Dutch

That what he said.
morebeer

The duck??
Jen

you are so wise, mister mallard.
Teddy Turbo

Crap. I put a butter wrapper in my dryer.

JMAKK

#1 Who else immediately reopened their tab?

Bryant

me
nate33uc

a sexy pic from tapiture…solid
zimzum

me 2
Dave

Holy shit! I have been needing this one for a while.
Smitty

I would have, but I just fired up the computer to come here, no closed tabs to reopen.

thom

Well, ain't that some shit.

open minded

I did…now my office know this one. Thanks mallard!
Iceberg

Only if you have a PC it is command+T for Mac users

Blue Bronco

Command + Shift + T
Chris

command z works on your Mac.

lfgd1978

I'm guessing….. everyone
Scott

Doesn't work with Chrome

ZachBob

You got the wrong Chrome, buddy.

Matt

It works in Chrome but not when in Incognito mode.

Chuck Schick

That's one smart fucking duck !!!

dan

….but why a duck?
LukeSkywalker

*ducking fuck.

DannoTheManno88

#20 OOPS!

WhyAmIReadingThis?

Too late!
FunKiller

You did whatever you wanted, didn't you?

Not A John

#16 if i end up in jail can Chive bail me out?

eggnog

Won't she get mad when you whip it out?

I don't know

Not if she's a whore…whipping your dick out just means more money for her.

DaddyD

Only if you submit the photos you took.
lfgd1978

Make sense

Cracka_ass_cracka

#14

That's a Bingo!

Amber

This picture is so true I can't even think of something intrinsically true enough for my simile.
http://twitter.com/beagleracing @beagleracing

"You just say 'Bingo'" — Lt. Aldo Raine
KCCOorDIE

You just say bingo

TheBAMFinater

#20 Most men figure this out pretty quick. But if you don't know, heed this advice.

Dan

That must be why I'm such a dick

davo

meh

Duber

The prostitute one cracks me up. First of all who needs that advice, and secondly how did you come about needing to possess that knowledge? Still funny AND accurate.

http://twitter.com/LosSaysSwag @LosSaysSwag

He ducks a lot of them?
MylesofStyles

Um…Not me…I swear…*jumps through plate glass window*
JonJAF

That one quacked me up too
Nnn

It was on the show "MANswers".

vanislechivette

duckin eh
MBNS

#10 The USB logo is always on the top.

MylesofStyles

<img src="http://i50.tinypic.com/1sb8r8.png" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
Aloicious

The crack in the metal is also always on the bottom.

Grant

Simple signs yes, but won't sick out as much as a bright color.

Underbaker

I am going to mess all of you up and turn the receptacle upside down next time I work on your computer. Signed Crazy PC Tech.

Guest

I have a usb drive where the seam is on the sides of the plug and the company logo is on the bottom of the drive. Screws me up every time.

Big C

99% of the time, yes, but there's a few out there that want to be different.
DaddyD

Except for all the devices that don't have the USB logo on them.

mastrrob

#20 Wise words to live by.
jasonB

#20
That's a PRO tip right there. If you learn nothing else today, learn that.
Cyberfunker

Thank you Chive for watching our backs with #20
John

smart duck
RealZoo

#14
<img src="http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/true-story-neil-patrick-harris.png" alt="true story neil patrick harris meme" width="325" height="250" />

dtjrjrj

How do you paste pics into your comments?

amrith777

I would like to know this,too.Have asked several times to no avail….

Dave

"Real Talk Mallard"
Vicster915

#9 I got a better solution, cut the onion the right way, then chewing gum will just be for sweets

Amber

Care to explain what the "right" way is?

Jesus Christ

Yes please, us cooks would love to be enlightened on how to cut pounds of onions the right way. Chewing gum does work though. Truth.

DDD

You can put them in the freezer first…

Stick

#3
And get newspaper ink all over the place

Oscar Mayer

Spoken like an privileged person who never has had to clean windows. Works like a charm

Turd F.

It also works when washing your car.

GOB

Paper towels don't leave streaks either, maybe you guys just suck at cleaning.

Sebastian

Paper towels tend to leave white fuzz sometimes. newspaper is the shit. Too bad everything is digital these days

http://twitter.com/timchipp @timchipp

Great reason to subscribe to one.

lfgd1978

This works great actually
not a rich bitch

You've obviously never cleaned a window before…

http://twitter.com/oreese12 @oreese12

The popcorn idea was genius. Thanks, Mallard.

Jesus Christ

Indeed, especially when you've got that sticky icky and have the munchies.

killer12

#20 I do what I want…

DaddyD

Obviously single.

:DDD

HAHAHA so true

Jake

I'll wine and dine them, but I'll never let them tell me what to do.

rsjem1979

#3

I knew those hobos on the off-ramp were on to something.
B-to-the-H

#11 – I doubt popcorn alone is enough to satisfy the munchies.
MonkeyMadness

#4 The duck wanted to buy chapstick but didn't have any cash, so he said "Just put it on my bill" *rimshot*

Yo Yo Ma

Ha! You quack me up.
menis

I want to say, "that joke was fowl." but….it was funny.

guest

#2 – how do you delete cookies?

Jesus Christ

Says the 12 year old.
Huell

If you have Windows, go to your control panel, search delete cookies or temporary internet files & you'll figure out the rest.
Dave

Do this even if you switch to a different travel site. They look for eachother's cookies to see what prices you have been given.

CookieWookie

Fail

andrew

Open command prompt. Format c:

candymancoug

you sir, are cruel.

Rich

With the number of locations cookies are stashed, I use CCleaner.
lfgd1978

Press Ctrl + Shift + Del this is the fastest way
Patrick

If you don't know Darwin says you should pay more.
???

Wtf are cookies?
bigvonski

Call the cookie monster…he will take care of them

asdasd

#2 Wouldn't private browsing work Instead of cleaning cookies ?

lfgd1978

It would surely works since that browsing mode wont save any cookies

DaveOnWheels

You mean it's useful for more than porn?!

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