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February 4, 2013 |
In: Awesome, Funny, Morning Awesomeness
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Category: Awesome, Funny, Morning Awesomeness
i should really be asleep right now but DMA is better
#32 Cheap fucking twat-waffle
Only catholic boys know what it's like to literally have religion shoved down your throat.
twat-waffle is totally going into my quicklist of insults
Right? I mean, even if your an atheist, you've gotta agree…this is just a cheap over exaggerated flip out fueled by daddy issues pushing a religion on ya that you don't agree with. Chill pill maybe?
Actually no, I do not agree with that. Luckily, being Dutch, I would never be subject to such a condescending bullshit greeting.
Also, if I started greeting people with "Good morning, there is no god!" I'm pretty sure everyone would start losing their fucking shit.
How does it feel when you look in the mirror and staring back is a massive tool?
You twat waffle.
"Goodmorning there is no god" is on the same page as "have a blessed day"? Fucking douche-waffle.
I prefer the insult Douche-waffle to twat-waffle personally.
Tips should be made by on the performance of the server, not their beliefs. I am a christian and have tipped well to satanists and atheists because they served me well. But since they made it a point to let people know their beliefs I also made it a point to not offend them and offered safe well wishes for a fine day rather then an off the wall blessed day or God bless. So if this person made it known they were Atheist then I side with him on being upset at the Blessed day comment, on the other hand if he was a closet Atheist and the server hadn't a clue that this would upset him, then total douche/twat-waffle.
I always tip my waiter who moonlights as a Klansman well.
Luckily Dutch? Now that is hilarious.
Yeah, fuck this twat-waffle!
Fuck this twat-waffle with a douche nozzle! (I have now replaced my old standard insult of "D.N." with this wonderful new "twat-waffle".) My only question: Is the use of the word 'twat' here in the British vernacular; or is this insult being flung by an American? I'm dying to know – as it truly shifts the meaning dramatically – but its a great insult nonetheless.
Flung by an American… doing a fake British accent
I still remember a picture I saw here that helped me generate the insult "Sphincter Weasel", and I am still grateful
Twat-waffle and sphincter weasel would also be great band names.
Totally OT, but my go-to band name was always 'Spastic Colon'.
Americans pronounce it wrong though… in American they pronounce it "TW-OT", whereas in the uk it's "TW-AT".
Fake. Made up in response to the pastor one and posted on reddits atheism section by a troll.
All these receipts are fake as hell. Move on.
Put an extra 1 and 0 in front the 0. Make 2 into 3. Fucking twat-waffle!
I gotta say I agree with the guy though. Also people saying "bless you" just because I sneezed. It's a normal bodily function, and does not require involving your magic bearded man in the sky, or Lord Zenu, or Muhammad, or Zeus.
It's mostly people just being polite. If you get angry with people just being nice, because it hints at religion, that is on you. Just take the pleasantry and move on.
You realise, this usage of bless you originates in the belief that when you sneezed you were expelling demons from your body/self-exorcising. Some also interpreted it as your heart stopping.
All around, it is simply a dated expression that has been adopted by secular society, and no one needs your atheist butthurt shit. No one is shoving religion down your throat, people are just trying to be polite.
Indeed other common expressions like goodbye also have religious roots. So do most names of days and some months. Going to flip out about that too? Going to refuse cash because it says in god we trust? I'll take all you unwanted Money!. The list goes on, and none of them qualify a shoving religion down your throat.
My favorite is changing BC and AD to BCE and CE but using the same transition date, Christ's crucifixion. Silly scientists will be silly.
The same, yes… but neither is referenced to Christ's crucifixion.
I mean honestly, religion has shaped our existence for milennia. Most of the customs and expressions you use yourself have religious origin, however, most people are just being polite, unless saying excuse me when you bump into someone is now a rude tradition… most don't know where it came from they are just saying it to be nice. Kinda hard to be forcing religion down your throat when they hadn't even realized it was religion to begin with.
Yes, being expected to subsidize your shitty paycheck makes ME the bad person >.> Mr. Pink was right about you guys.
Is no one else wondering what kind of meal this greasy mud dragon spent that kind of dough on? Wouldn't it be ironic if it were blessed by a priest?
#34 is doing it right
Plastic surgery and a personal trainer. That is all.
Who gives a shit…that is all.
Of course we all "still would" too bad she still wouldn't.
looking great still ….
It's a shame that her daughter got her looks from Billy.
#3 Meanwhile in Africa…
Obviously you don't have a national geographic subscription
#34 Nooooo! 59?!
yes, in ten, she;ll be 69! bald and bleached.
Kcco bishkek, tatto girl is the best
#34 Every time I see her, I can't help but think of the scene in National Lampoon's Vacation. Does anyone have a turkey sand which????
THAT'S the scene you go to?!?? really…..you know how i know youre gay, right? sorry Finn
#21 is great. I was wondering what caused it. Still probably an inside job.
I agree #21 wins the internet this morning.
Everone at the party i went to suspects Beyonce's special effects blew a fuse
Luckily, the chances of something like that actually interrupting play is ~0% with the amount commercials you cram into the game.
I blame George Bush
#22 really? he was in the Doritos commercial!
His mask looks like Goatse
It ruined the movie for me
I coulda done without the voice, at times he sounded like a high pitched whiny kid.
Would have been funnier if the bull threw his ass twenty feet into the air.
#32 Finally some one using Atheism to ripe someone off!
Atheism 1, Religion 9,999,999,999,999,999.
…..really? That is your statement? Go away.
….really? That is all you have? Get Fucked!
Yeah, they can ripe people off all they want.
#14 Nice FLBP!
Poor decision making, lack of impulse control, emotional instability, low self esteem, borderline personality disorder. Nice tats, though.
She is beautiful now and the same is probably true before the tattoos. I love girls with tattoos, but sadly, it generally points to insecurity and low self esteem
#34 still would
#17 looks like a total penis… hope she slapped him real good
Hell, I hope she broke the fool's jaw!
#32 I'm not religious but wow, what a dick move.
So is evangelizing to paying customers after they have sat down and ordered.
I'm more curious about what kind of place just labels a meal as "adult – dinner" and it's ~$150. Seems odd.
Still, jerk move.
I'd be lying if I said Beyonce wasn't hot and didn't give me a boner during that halftime show.
What a crappy thing to write. At least he or she took the time to wish this person well. I'm not a very religious person, but seriously, that was totally uncalled for. Any act of kindness, religious or otherwise, should be appreciated or at least taken with courtesy.
You're totally right seeing as how the only information is on this receipt and we know nothing about these people's actual transaction. Judging things and people before actually knowing what happened is always the way to go.
So instead of going off of the information that we have available, we should just disregard it and be a bunch of cynical douchebags?
Cool story bro.
not douchebags. twatwaffles. pay attention.
Well played sir
#29 the more I watched this the more I realized how bad he just broke his arm
Right? I was thinking the same thing – damn, I hope he let go right after the video ended, but it was probably already too late.
It looks like he wrapped his grip, he can't let go. We had a guy on our team (gymnastics) that broke both bones in his forearm when his grip wrapped. Had to cut him down to get him off.
cut the bar or the arm?
32, keep doin it. maybe the cuntrag should have said have a wonderful day. and no matrer what, the customer is always right.
Its people like you….
its people like me what…
that give atheists a bad name
you're an idiot.
#20 Thanks for ruining everything I've ever loved.
Sad part? I am wearing those Batman pjs right now. And I have some Superman ones just like 'em.
No! The sad part is you are still calling them "PJs"…..twat-waffle!
0,0 REPOSTS AH AH AH
#16 would quickly become #18 at my house. You're outta here!
Obviously dog turds are kid magnets.
#22 Me too…
#23 doesn't twitter allow punctuation?
Just as much as TheChive allows capitalization.
Yep. Looks like he has a period at the end to me.
You had one job, Super Bowl lights.
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