Get The App

View Comments

A few Valentines Day cards that are sure to get you laid (28 Photos)

February 12, 2013 | In: Funny, Holidays, WTF

Follow Mac on Twitter

Category: Funny, Holidays, WTF

Carl

I cha cha choose you

ChivinSeattle

I, too, was quoting Ralph throughout this post.
ray

Get it, there's a train

Sean

Isn't it choo choo choose you

Simon

Yep.

techno_viking

Sooo…. Do you like…. stuff?
yam

My cat's breath smells like cat food.
blue_bronco

"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there. "

Permanent Guest

"And remember Ralphie, if your nose starts bleeding it's because you're picking it too much… or not enough."

Just a Dude

Aww, I bent my wookie.

jenn

#11 – inappropriately hilarious

mr. inappropriate

too soon??

I'm a Girl

#1 On Valentines Day, I'm gonna turn you on and not let you finsih douchebag!

Spelling Police

"finsih?" WTF?

Geezer

Eat a dick, you know what she meant, asshole.

Diezle

Now Kim, there are other ways to get back at kanye

crustybubblechunks

#2 Lol
katastrophe89

#11 simple. Yet hilarious
Huell

Or the OJ Simpson Valentine… "Roses are red. Bullets are lead. Take me back now. Or get stabbed in the head!"
sfb101

#6, #13 NO!
#18 Only if you talk dirty to me with a British accent.
#25 fantastic!
TreyD

#25 now thats a valentines day i could get behind

MattKL

I see what you did there.

Links

Isn't #4 the chick with the T Rex shirt!?

Sean

It's Megan. How ever you spell it.
Sean

@meaghanjameson on Twitter… You are welcome

DAV

Fun fact #243: A Kanye can store 3/4 it's body weight in it's cheek pouches.

DAV

#1

3 chain

#23. Oooooohhhhhhh I get it! Yeah.. Dumb
Dan

boo #4, take the morning after pill.

…

or the back door…

mikey

some pretty clever ones, but #28 takes it for me.

Amber

I actually don't get it… Halp?

Michele

Listen to the song by M.I.A. called "Paper Planes"

Amber

Awe there it is. The words were ringing a bell in my head but I couldn't place them anywhere… lol

James

#25 should become to guys what flowers are to girls.
nathan

great post. these cracked me up. this one was definitely not phoned in.
KCCO_texas

#4
Meghan Jameson! <3
Marry me?

bones

No, she's Mein!

MattKL

#7 This.
Past_Life_God

Holy shit I need to stop chiving in my college classes, It's really awkward when my professor is talking about slavery and I can't help myself from occasionally letting out a snort of laughter because of the Chive!

avidavid

Don't worry it's cool, Roots was the funniest sh!t I've ever seen.

von Mises

#14 So I'll use the NDAA to toss you in your regional FEMA camp where I'll be waiting. (Piad ofr by you of course)
svp

i see what you did there…
umyeah

#4 yes I am, my mom tells me so…er wait.
Alex

#12 perfect
Brian

#24 #25 #26 I cant decide which is the best to use of the three, perhaps I'll use all three?
soupdejour4

#21 its "moms spaghetti" not "arms spaghetti" which is from the next verse anyways. the verse is actually "…knees weak, arms are heavy."

Really?!

Your retarted!

si si si

*you're

Sean

retarded*

GhettoLoveMachine

*your retarted!

Tony

I was sooo confused when I saw this one too. It just made no sense to me. The spaghetti part comes up when he talks about vomiting.
Play on words

Yes, because "palms sweaty, knees weak, mom's spaghetti" looks sooo great on a valentines day card..
Alumni72

And the grand total of fucks given about this …. 0.

Canucks_Rule

#7 – sorry chive, this is a horrible thread. some bad photoshop going on here.

Bruins_Rule

All of these suck

Canucks_Rule

agreed. waste of a thread.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Previous

Get low, get down, get dirty…and have a good time (36 Photos)

Next

Take everything I have, just please mass-produce this product (Video)

LIKE theCHIVE on Facebook. Share the awesomeness with your friends.

theCHIVE.com on Facebook