A few Valentines Day cards that are sure to get you laid (28 Photos)

via Tumblr.

  • Carl

    I cha cha choose you

    • ChivinSeattle

      I, too, was quoting Ralph throughout this post.

    • ray

      Get it, there's a train

      • Sean

        Isn't it choo choo choose you

        • Simon


    • techno_viking

      Sooo…. Do you like…. stuff?

    • yam

      My cat's breath smells like cat food.

    • blue_bronco

      "The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there. "

      • Permanent Guest

        "And remember Ralphie, if your nose starts bleeding it's because you're picking it too much… or not enough."

        • Just a Dude

          Aww, I bent my wookie.

  • jenn

    #11 – inappropriately hilarious

    • mr. inappropriate

      too soon??

  • I'm a Girl

    #1 On Valentines Day, I'm gonna turn you on and not let you finsih douchebag!

    • Spelling Police

      "finsih?" WTF?

      • Geezer

        Eat a dick, you know what she meant, asshole.

    • Diezle

      Now Kim, there are other ways to get back at kanye

  • crustybubblechunks

    #2 Lol

  • katastrophe89

    #11 simple. Yet hilarious

  • Huell

    Or the OJ Simpson Valentine… "Roses are red. Bullets are lead. Take me back now. Or get stabbed in the head!"

  • sfb101

    #6, #13 NO!
    #18 Only if you talk dirty to me with a British accent.
    #25 fantastic!

  • TreyD

    #25 now thats a valentines day i could get behind

    • MattKL

      I see what you did there.

  • Links

    Isn't #4 the chick with the T Rex shirt!?

    • Sean

      It's Megan. How ever you spell it.

    • Sean

      @meaghanjameson on Twitter… You are welcome

  • DAV

    Fun fact #243: A Kanye can store 3/4 it's body weight in it's cheek pouches.

    • DAV


  • 3 chain

    #23. Oooooohhhhhhh I get it! Yeah.. Dumb

  • Dan

    boo #4, take the morning after pill.

    • ...

      or the back door…

  • mikey

    some pretty clever ones, but #28 takes it for me.

    • Amber

      I actually don't get it… Halp?

      • Michele

        Listen to the song by M.I.A. called "Paper Planes"

        • Amber

          Awe there it is. The words were ringing a bell in my head but I couldn't place them anywhere… lol

  • James

    #25 should become to guys what flowers are to girls.

  • nathan

    great post. these cracked me up. this one was definitely not phoned in.

  • KCCO_texas

    Meghan Jameson! ❤
    Marry me?

    • bones

      No, she's Mein!

  • MattKL

    #7 This.

  • Past_Life_God

    Holy shit I need to stop chiving in my college classes, It's really awkward when my professor is talking about slavery and I can't help myself from occasionally letting out a snort of laughter because of the Chive!

    • avidavid

      Don't worry it's cool, Roots was the funniest sh!t I've ever seen.

  • von Mises

    #14 So I'll use the NDAA to toss you in your regional FEMA camp where I'll be waiting. (Piad ofr by you of course)

  • svp

    i see what you did there…

  • umyeah

    #4 yes I am, my mom tells me so…er wait.

  • Alex

    #12 perfect

  • Brian

    #24 #25 #26 I cant decide which is the best to use of the three, perhaps I'll use all three?

  • soupdejour4

    #21 its "moms spaghetti" not "arms spaghetti" which is from the next verse anyways. the verse is actually "…knees weak, arms are heavy."

    • Really?!

      Your retarted!

      • si si si


        • Sean


          • GhettoLoveMachine

            *your retarted!

    • Tony

      I was sooo confused when I saw this one too. It just made no sense to me. The spaghetti part comes up when he talks about vomiting.

    • Play on words

      Yes, because "palms sweaty, knees weak, mom's spaghetti" looks sooo great on a valentines day card..

    • Alumni72

      And the grand total of fucks given about this …. 0.

  • Canucks_Rule

    #7 – sorry chive, this is a horrible thread. some bad photoshop going on here.

    • Bruins_Rule

      All of these suck

      • Canucks_Rule

        agreed. waste of a thread.

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