I wish they weren’t, but these things are all just too true (33 Photos)

  • Inigo Montoya

    #4 hahaha too funny

    • Concerned Chiver

      #32 Anal sex is NOT overrated.

      • Tiber_Septim

        I don't like it unless I've got my feet set. if I have my feet set then I love getting corn holed all day.

        • Concerned Chiver

          Strap-on or penis?

  • Cracka_ass_cracka

    Lately it's a different body part that gets me in the most trouble, definitely not the heart..

    • BWaecker

      I see you're having appendix trouble too

  • imdowngetme

    #27 so true and Jordan 11s hooray!! The space jams are the best.

    • TreyD

      I just thought he was getting a Handjob in the first pic…

    • jshiver15

      Is that a girl going down on another girl? Because if it is . . then cool. If not . . then buy some men's pants, dude.

    • Alex

      If a girl is rocking 11s or any of the other good J's, she's worth waiting till the 2nd date

      • imdowngetme

        Yeah u right.

      • Craigery

        Yeah, I'll fuck a fat old leper with AIDS and oozing sores, as long as she has a certain type of shoes.

        • Carl

          err…*jordan 11s.

    • montago

      Was this picture taken in 1991? That's the last time I saw stone-washed jeans and shoes that ugly.

      • Craigery

        In 1991, girls didn't go down on guys with child-sized feet wearing girls' jeans.

        • Iggy

          They do in 2013?

        • 91' never forget

          You forget the stone wash pant rolling phase of the early 90's. Since everyone was wearing this type of thing, then by your logic no guy got laid in 19991. Though he probably would have been wearing

          • 91' never forget

            i may have gotten carried away with the 9s

    • Kato

      Based on the shoes she's wearing, I'm assuming she has a toned butt.

  • Lukatmacock

    #2 and hoping they have young boys on there


      You are fucking stupid. You moron.

      • true story

        what are u the pope's fan boy? get a life

      • Craigery

        CRAZY SOB is offended by that suggestion because the Pope told him he was the only young boy in his life.

    • Jesse

      Signed up on clubpenguin. User name popex31xHCx

    • forrestforrestgump

      Hahahaha fuck yeah! Hilarious

    • JinGJ

      What a wide stroke you paint with that brush.

  • TJ H

    Ha! #19 is from a web comic called TheDevilsPanties.com. Definitely worth checking out!

  • Dan

    #27 looks like a naughty Sketchers ad.

    • gmen

      except that they're Jordans

    • solrac zemog

      Jordans! Dopey.

    • amrith777

      Looks like two chicks.

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    This should be inverted so it reads from caveman to modern times.

    • Mr_fn_T

      but that would put the punchline at the beginning. would be bad for business

      • Bhodi

        Not sure if it would matter, wasn't funny IMO

    • Smitty

      Doesn't matter. We are regressing now anyway…

      Think about this: A little less than 100 years ago, Einstein was a household name in most of the developed world. Think about who are the household names of today.

      My answer is: I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

      • ╙╥╨

        Inverting requests are killing culture. Nobody can use photoshop anymore

    • Guest

      Completely wrong. Fail.

  • Horus

    #11 #27

    I dunno, somehow those two go together….

    • ZPowers

      #11 is actually a Kyle Kinane joke, they just didn't give him any credit for it.

  • Hiro

    #29 My dick must be the best idea ever

    • Concerned Chiver

      Well played.

    • ShafeNutS

      Now that is just funny

  • Del

    #25 This motherfucker is gonna make me wait while he buys fucking stamps at the post office

  • Guest

    #6. I actually behave the other way around. You know…..just in case.

    • urmom

      Same here. It was glorious when I was single, kinda shaggy when dating, and it's a goddamn forest now that I'm engaged. I'm going to be afraid to look down there once I get married.

      • kurt

        100% agree

    • Lucky bastard

      Not me. The old lady loves it hair free and I receive blowies every time it gets freshened up. Needless to say I man scape weekly.

      • gross

        too. much. information.

        • Lucky bastard

          Don't hate

    • TheVanityScore

      if my lady doesnt request it i will let it go for a month. but if shes like "dude trim your shit its a jumgle down there" i will go ahead and do it. its the polite thing to do i guess

  • Hrdwood

    #32 The single biggest over rated quote from a dead guy is Christopher Hitchens…

    • asdasd

      true, but at least he's right about lobster and champagne…

      • Livin' Legend

        And picnics.

    • johan

      how about having anal sex while eating lobster and drinking champagne at a picnic?

    • Guest

      but….but I love all those things 😦

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    I don't know. I think if Sara Jean Underwood asked for it in the 2 hole it would be pretty damn awesome.

    • llew11

      I didn't know who Sara Jean Underwood was until your post, so i googled her… thank you!!!

      • Heisanidiot

        You must be new here…

  • Dick

    #18 and DONT talk to me for 5 minutes i cant answer

  • V.N

    #6 #27 True Story

  • DickFister

    Decided to get the wife a pair of socks and a dildo for Valentine's Day. That way if she doesn't like the socks she can go fuck herself.
    My obituary to follow.

    • Hrdwood

      You sir, are a genius. I would be honored to attend your funeral.

    • Lboogie13

      That was the funniest comment I have ever read. You won the Internet, sir. I salute you.

  • Sera

    Well since Valentines is coming up…. Yes, yes I do. #33

  • bigvonski

    #21 ohh soo true. and the dumbass i am, i keep doing it!!

  • http://twitter.com/LosSaysSwag @LosSaysSwag

    #18 #19 Love the juxtaposition.
    #6 And I feel so dirty for it

  • AprilShowers

    #25 And then you realized you signed a one year lease with that bitch and she eats crackers all the fucking time..

  • 3GS owner

    I recon Sara jean udderwod takes it all over, sent from my shitty one day battery iPhone 3GS thanks Steve , nice qiuck getter way ,hiptas r fuming

    • tralfaz

      – bath salts?

    • SEA253

      Please tell me you're on the way to English class?

    • Craigery

      I think you're confusing The Chive forums with Steve Jobs' email. Also, Steve Jobs is no longer with us.

  • Spc. Barker

    #6 Or Married!

  • Canucks_Rule

    #6 – haha, damn u chive for telling the truth.

    #9 – happens every damn time.

    • noname

      #9 when a guy thinks he is going to get laid that's reversed lol

  • janco

    #27 Oddly, he both par of shoes look like woman's.

    • Sam

      Oddly, your sentence makes no fucking sense.

      • Craigery

        It makes sense if you have enough brain cells to fill in a few missing letters.

        • I don't know

          "Oddly, the both pair(s) of shoes look like woman's"

          Nope still doesn't make sense.

          • LudditeGrammarPoPo

            Janco's sentence made sense to me:

            "Oddly, both pair of shoes look like women's shoes."

            Pretty damn funny, I thought.

  • stu

    #27 – Hard to tell which is the chick and which is the dude with those shoes and pants… what's wrong with kids today? Fuck, I'm old… Get off my lawn.

    • Reckless

      Those shoes are from the 90's

      • Rusty Shackleford


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