Valentine’s Day Sucks (48 Photos)

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I like to make a yearly post dedicated to pissing on the worst holiday ever manufactured. Enjoy!

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  • BFM Fan

    #48 BFM!

    • The Truth

      I love Bill Murray, but simply putting down 3 letters should not warrant this many thumbs up. I used to love the comments section when they were clever and unique, but now they're just predictable. Hopefully someone else agrees because I would like to one day return to the comments section and find myself laughing once more.

    • true story

      thank you Mr. Murray 4 accurately capturing the sentiment of this bullshit day made up by Hallmark

  • AssClown

    #2 Shame…i'll give you my only fuck for the day. Here, take it, and take care of it.

    • lat297

      I read that wrong but re-read it right just before the call to child protection connected, so it's cool.

    • 2Dogs

      Its okay Ralph, Lisa will soon "Cho-Choo Choose You"

      • Ralph

        I bent my Wookie.

      • BallzMcGee

        Look in the tunk

      • dutch

        my cat's breath smells like cat food

      • LoveRalph

        The berries taste like burning.

      • KCJake

        Will you bee my Valentine? And there's a picture of a bee!

    • NikkeD

      If you pause and play in slow motion, you can actually pin point the moment his heart is breaking

  • non, a

    It's sad, really. #44

    • Hugh

      …and thats why they want guys to make everyday..Valentine's Day, if you really cared about me!!!

    • Cecil

      And yet you remain a slave to pussy, trading days and hours of your hard earned money for the low probability of a few minutes worth of sex.

    • emm

      What if I told you.. Some girls don't give a shit about Valentines day..

      • non, a

        Well.. I would ask you to be my valentine.
        Oh wait.. never mind.

  • Rusty Shackleford

    Remember single friends, while the couple's have to sit through Nicholas Sparks Movie #25 and Twilight: Witch Edition, we get Die Hard!!!

    • lat297

      Yeah, but after Twilight we get blowjobs…

      • aussie aussie aussie

        true story…….

      • MonkeyMadness

        But you get them from other dudes.

        • ;saljdfh;ajkfh

          phuk off homophobe

        • Jerky

          Still counts!

          • oqsig99

            It doesn't count if there are no boobs!

        • MaxPower

          Beggers can't be choosers.

          • Bob Épine

            They'll be gay beggars then.

    • andulamb

      Too bad the new Die Hard sucks balls.

      • Ryan

        They should have stopped after the third one.

        • C.Winslow

          Should' ve kept me in them

          • gradaddy

            lol'd at that one

    • Alumni72

      and extra apostrophes.

  • Tiber_Septim

    #7 works for me

    • ╙╥╨

      Meal for 1 = best meals ever

  • Everclear


    I feel ya, buddy,

    • Firefighter23

      Dude, feeling kids is wrong….

      • Everclear

        Hey. It's Valentine's Day and I'm Catholic.

  • Guest

    #18 Romance success!!!

  • Seldi84

    #2 aww poor Ralph

  • Seldi84

    #48. Only thing you need for Valentine's is alcohol and BFM films.

  • MonkeyMadness

    #17 is so much awesomeness!

  • Derpy

    I laughed way too hard at #41.

    • RocksOff

      And i said "oh lord Jesus it's a fire". And i ran for my life,i didn't grab nothing, i ran for my life! And then the smoke hit me, i got bronchitis. Ain't nobody got time for that.

      I got that shit memorized.

  • seldomseen

    my friend was right, rule 34 bis – if it exists there is a Cage of it

  • Matticus

    worst day ever… it's my birthday today :/

    • some person

      Happy birthday

    • a-nom

      Happy Birthday!

    • boB

      Happy Fricken Birthday!!!!!

    • Greg

      Mine too man, I fell your pain…

      • umyeah

        Happy b-day. Put on a Chive shirt and hit the bar and get hammered.

        • Greg

          Don't think I won't my friend, just waiting for the shirt I ordered last week to get here, though I do still have a few handy now.

    • Ari214

      Happy birthday!!!

    • Skermitt

      Pity party? Happy birthday, KCCO

    • Peerless

      Happy Birthday

    • Dydy

      Happy Valentine Birthday

  • Niitsitapi13

    Bitch, you better call Tyrone.

  • Gtfo Stfu

    Wow Bob you really are a hateful ignorant bitter cunt. Maybe you should go back to China and live in your dream world, we don't need crying little bitches in America.

    • ImpressMe

      Did someone not get his cream of wheat this morning?

      • Sir Cadogen

        Oh, he got it. Just don't ask what was in it…

  • Ispeakchive

    #20 Get some!!

    • Snuggs

      does this count as lesbian porn?

  • Greg

    Now how do you think I feel, I'm in the process of a divorce and it's my birthday :-P

    All I can do is KCCO!

    • Snatchsquatch

      Do you know why divorce is so expensive? ….Because its worth it!

      • Greg

        I could not agree more my friend, right now I feel like a Andy Dufresne crawling through the shit, but I know freedom isn't far off.

  • Ispeakchive

    #1 Yep

  • tralfaz

    #10 I read this in Batman's voice.

  • Tim

    I laughed way too hard at this!

  • savagecabbage

    This day is such bullshit. All i wanna do is see die hard in IMAX and i can't. Probably won't even get felacio after…. #34 really speaks to me

    • majorfathead

      Umm if you cannot see the movie in Imax then logic dictates that you cannot get fellatio after. Cogito ergo sum

    • DDD

      Rub one out, its the champagne of victory

      • savagecabbage

        Excellent advice. Fuck that bitch, i'm gonna go see die hard and beat one off against the back of the cinema seat

  • socalmarti

    #2 Come here Ralph I'll give you a big hug and kiss!!

  • AnItalianChiver

    #34 hahaha funny and brutal at the same time

  • Lboogie13

    I wouldn't break up with #34. She's hot.

    • Cream o sum yung guy

      No matter how hot she is somebody somewhere(obviously this guy) is tired of her shit

      • Notknowing

        Yup. I broke it off with a gf on v-day. Yes she was hot. Yes, I was tired of her shit. It only lasted 3 months, anyway.

  • salmon

    I always get my wife the same thing. A pair of slippers and a dildo. If she doesnt like the slippers, she can go FUCK HERSELF!

    • majorfathead

      Stay classy Salmon and careful …. remember Salmon die after they spawn so always use protection

    • oqsig99

      First good laugh of the day I've had, thank you and KCCO!

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