20 resumes so wrong they’re almost right (20 Photos)

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  • Chazmo

    Is it Friday yet?

    • Unsatisfied

      Still getting these half page ads on my phone guys please fix this

    • TheVanityScore

      almost

  • Julio_Fungoolio

    #14 should have written "Street Pharmacist" it probably would look better.

  • Cracka_ass_cracka

    #5
    I like Andres' enthusiasm, seems like a real go-getter

  • Julio_Fungoolio

    #14 Should have written Street Pharmacist, he would have gotten the job for sure.

  • FLChiver

    Wow. I fear for our youth.

    • forrestforrestgump

      I blame the retards that spawned these shoula been abortions.

      • Ghettoblaster

        Says the guy with the handle of Forrest Gump

    • http://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

      You fear for our youth?

      I weep for our future……

    • yoselahonda

      I'd hire all these guys just so I could fire them the next day with the with the 'reason for termination' space filled in with "because you're such an f'ing moron!"

  • sfb101

    WTF did I just look at…

  • tv_paul

    #6 Be wary of the In House made Alfredo sauce at Noe Valley Pizza in S.F., actually made by a guy named Alfredo.

  • Zippy

    With resumes like these, I can see we have a larger problem than merely unemployment. Education is failing us and we are too dumb to notice.

    • forrestforrestgump

      'Murica…

    • credible hulk

      yes, and every teacher I hear of is excellent and hard working.

  • ocitsalocs

    Who puts "hobbies and Interests" on any resume?

    • tv_paul

      Playboy Centerfold Playmates of the month.?

    • Underemployed

      Clearly, winners

  • CZer

    #19 is really good at wrapping shit

    • BrettDioson

      I'm thinking lips around something is the best chance at the next job.

  • http://twitter.com/Aurilio27 @Aurilio27

    So why doesn't my resume work?

  • http://www.facebook.com/michael.perry.986 Michael Perry

    Action figure therapy voice……hilarious. #13

  • Kato

    #13 Haha! I fuckin lost it at Juwanna Mann.

  • rekab

    #12 It appears someone creatively borrowed from "3A Essay" by Hugh Gallagher. http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/joke/essay.h

  • https://www.facebook.com/may.hadfield May Hadfield

    And yet I cant get a job…

  • KeepinCalm

    #8 LOL. paybacks would be in high order and long lasting.

  • misschris

    I once had a guy hand in a resume that stated he had been in the Marine Core. Yes, Marine CORE. How the hell can you be in the Marine Corps and now know how to spell it?! Needless to say, he did not get hired.

    • phil

      not*

      • TheVanityScore

        people think they're so clever when they point out a grammar mistake.

      • misschris

        Ah, blast!! I guess if I'm going to harp on someone else's grammar, I sure as hell better get my rant right. *blushing*

  • bmoney

    Your brother gay? I'll de-gay him with reverse buttsex… HAHAHA!

  • trotterman

    #9 #13

    My favorites.

  • Jared

    Friggin Subway ads take up half the page!!! I can't see shit! Cut down on the ads for Christ sake!

  • Rog

    #12 Kvothe? Is that you?

    • danomite

      Such a good book, Patrick rohtfuss is a genius.

    • DRE

      Nice coment, I thought the same when I read it, and yes, great books, waiting for the last one.

  • Bustanut

    this was just stupid, couldn't you do better than these examples?

  • Jimmy

    #12 nuff said

  • Snarky Snarkerson

    Please tell me that most of these were just High School assignments and not real resumes. I fear for our country's future as it is but this just makes me ill!

    • davo

      i wouldn't worry, I doubt any of these dipshits will get jobs

  • J-$$$

    #6 Oh geez, I used to eat at the Noe Valley Pizza Restaurant all the time when I lived in the n'hood. I hope that guy wasn't cocking my pizzas….

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