Advertisement - Scroll down for content
Advertisement - Scroll down for content
It’s no surprise that forward girls get more dates (9 Photos)
In dating, especially now with instant messaging and apps, how you start the conversation is the key to whether or not you’re going to get that person on the other side to give you even the slightest chance. That opener is key.
Usually it’s the dudes that step right up with a cliched one liner that they think is gonna get them across the threshold, but according to a recent study from
OK Cupid, all women need to do is say hi first. If you’re a lady and you make the first contact, you’re rewarded with more dates, and in fact, more attractive dates. Damn.
The company took a look at 70,000 random members and their profiles and found that women who started the messaging, were 2.5 more likely to get dates, then men.
So how about that?
Here’s some chart porn to show you how it all breaks down.
But let’s get something straight first; men are still doing what they do best on messaging apps. There’s 1.5 men for every woman on OK Cupid and they make the first move in the majority of situations.
The study didn’t ask what those initial moves sounded like, but you can imagine they were cheesy, mildly erotic, or outright dirty.
So why don’t more women make the first move? One theory is that women are inundated with messages, and they don’t even need to do anything other than have a picture and a pulse. The more attractive you are, the more attention you get. That’s pretty obvious.
The chart above outlines that the more messages the men send, they get a fairly decent return, but they they get bolstered with confidence and message more.
Women, on the other hand, just spend time filtering out the creepy from the possibilities. Realistically, they know that the messages will keep coming, and the keep on roaming the site to find someone that catches their fancy.
The study also found that the more attractive the man, the more messages they sent, so that sets the precedent that there are a lot of attractive men reaching out.
Which seems contradictory, as you’d figure the guys messaging most are the desperate ones, but not true. It’s the 8’s, 9’s and 10’s that are just throwing messages out there.
Of course, this is men rating themselves, so it could be arbitrary. The self-proclaimed 8.5, might only be a 6 in reality.
There’s also another factor; dudes are reachers. When they’re looking for matches to send a message to they usually reach out to women who are more attractive then they are; generally 17 percentage points higher then they perceive their own attractiveness. Worth a shot, right? Women only tend to reach 10 points higher.
What does this all mean? It means that if women do nothing, their inbox will be filled with people less attractive then they are.
All it takes is a little adjustment. Ladies, YOU send the first message.
When you do, the results are amazing. When men send the first message, only 12% end up in a date, while when women do it, it’s a whopping 30%. Men will respond to anything; we’re that excited to get a message back. So now you’re controlling the board, and getting to have conversations with the ones you want to, and obviously, you’re gonna message the cute ones, right?
After all was said and done, there’s no mystery to how this works. The ladies that just say f*ck it and message the dude they find attractive, will get more dates.
Why? Most women on OkCupid wait to be messaged, so you’re just settling for whoever has the balls to say hi. What that means is if you’re a woman and receive a message, the man who sent it is about 5 percentile points less attractive than you (sorry bud). But if you send the first hello, the man is about 7 percentile points more attractive than you.
So if you typically wait to be approached, you could elevate your game by about 12 percent points just by sending the first message.
Extra points if it’s kinda dirty.