Sex can be a sticky affair, pun intended.
Great sex is great and good sex is great too. Bad sex, though, is the W O R S T. Awkward, painful, and generally unpleasant in all ways, as I’m sure most people who’ve ever had sex know (women especially—is there such a thing as a really fun “first time” for a chick?)
Men, however, are far more likely to have a good time. I assume this is due to the fact that the female orgasm is way more elusive than the male, which means a lot of dudes are doing something wrong.
Don’t get upset at me, fellas! I know that isn’t a conscious effort. Maybe y’all are trying to do the right thing but are unwillingly blowing it (not like that) and maybe y’all just need a little bit of advice.
And who better to dole that advice out than the professionals? AskMen asked six British porn stars about the most common mistakes men make during sex. You’d think most of these would be common sense…you’d think.
1. Rushing or skipping foreplay
“Taking your time and not just like, going for it. Some guys just like…have no technique.”
What’s the rush?
2. Being too rough with fingers
“At least from my experience. I’m like, careful, be gentle.”
Bruh this isn’t a video game of the button-mashing variety. Think more Splinter Cell and less Mortal Kombat, you feel me?
“Men can be very selfish. They expect you in the morning to get down and suck their dick and thanks very much and be on their way, and they don’t repay the pleasure.”
ONE HAND WASHES THE OTHER, or whatever.
4. Sharp nails
“When a guy is eating you out and decides to put you know, maybe, that, much of a finger in, and they’ve got nails, and you’re like “What is this? This is not—what is this? It’s just annoying. That would be like a girl getting your ball and just going like that on the top. That’s not going to do anything, that’s gonna really annoy you.”
To clarify, that much of a finger:
And nails going like that on top of your balls:
“They’ve got sharp nails! Men don’t manicure! That’s just not nice!”
5. Lack of communication
“They need to know how to pleasure their partner. If you wanna be a selfish lover and just stick it in and go…nope, that’s not going to work for us girls.”
“First of all you’ve gotta communicate with them. So guys, if you’re mute, you’re screwed really aren’t ya?” (Somehow a British accent makes this sound charming.)
Explore the body and when the girl is ready then you could put it in.
But most importantly: “Talk to us, know how to touch us, because each girl likes to be touched differently.”
It’s “not trying to be the porn star,” which is ironic coming from a porn star but whatever, nor is it about “trying to impress” your partner. Instead, it’s about “the passion” and “the feeling” and about making the chick feel great.
“It’s not about being fast or big. It’s about the mental connection.”
Like they say, it’s not about the size of the boat, it’s about the motion of the ocean 🐋🐋🐋
This article first appeared on Berry.