Just because they got the job doesn’t mean they’re the brightest crayon in the box. A recent AskReddit thread asked managers of all kinds to recall some of the times when Darwinism really shone through in the form of employees who just didn’t get the whole job thing. The stories were great.
The guy who was clearly hungry
“I didn’t personally fire this person but I was manager on duty at a restaurant I work at.
New-ish server was dealing with a complaint a customer had with their BLT. Rather than having me talk to the table he took a bite out of it and said ‘Im not seeing the problem.'”- Mirraklewhippn
The entrepreneur who couldn’t multitask
“We had a secretary, we were all curious as what she really did during the day since it seemed like nothing got done. I ended up giving her lists to complete but she would throw them in the trash.I got fed up and looked at her computer at the end of the day. Which was probably shitty on my part?
Found out she was prostituting herself with her company email.”- Tlou145
The forgetful smoker
“I had an employee apologize to two different tables for forgetting to put their food order in. They had been waiting like 45 minutes and nothing had been entered into the system.
We looked at the camera system because he had been acting weird all day. After he wrote down their order, he proceeded to go outside and fire up a joint. He was apparently too high to remember to put in the order.”- iStankonia
The other forgetful smoker
“I was assistant manager at a restaurant for a while and one of the newer bussers had called in 3 times in his first two weeks. He called in on Saturday telling me he was deathly sick and couldn’t even get out of bed. Around 9pm after the dinner rush one of my servers ask me to go check on table 42. I turn the corner and there is the ‘sick’ busser stoned out of his mind with two buddies eating.”- Half_Past_Five
The guy who was way too entitled for retail
“Guy hired to manage a store in a mall REFUSED to park in employee parking. As I’m sure everyone knows, mall employees have designated parking places, far from the choice spots near mall entrances. This guy refused to park there, and every time he parked illegally, the store got fined $100. And he parked in customer parking Every. Damn. Day. He was called out on it, the policy was explained over and over. He got written up. He was told that on the next infraction he would be fired. And he did it the very next day.Was totally blindsided when we actually fired him.”- Allthenamesareregone
The employee who hopefully wanted revenge…?
“I had an employee lock another employee in a closet one time. The person that was trapped called the police from inside the closet. It was quite an HR nightmare.”- racord360
The waitress who was just trying to problem solve
“Had a (restaurant) server drink out of the customer’s Dr.Pepper and Coke to see which was which….in front of them…”- Zeke219
The full-on no-pants party
“I knew someone at Subway who did NOT get fired for going to the washroom and taking off his pants and underwear. He was making sandwiches wearing only an apron and shirt. The manager laughed at him. I think the entire store must have been on drugs.”- CharmanderMeanderer
The not-so-sneaky closet drinker
“Every day at lunch, she would drink roughly half of her Jimmy Johns (or whatever) soda, then take it with her to the bathroom to fill it back up with whiskey. She did a pretty good job covering up the smell, and since she did it from day 1 it wasn’t immediately obvious that she was getting drunk. Found out on day 4 when she knocked her full cup over and we all got punched with the smell of booze in the afternoon.”- Smitty_Oom
The wannabe con-artist who’s actually really bad at con-artistry
“Forging a tip on a receipt. Like adding $20 wasn’t going to get caught.”- pawvel_catsyuk
The girls that weren’t up to speed on office etiquette
“2 new employees got into a physical altercation because one claimed the other wasn’t “hood” enough, it was 2 females and this is an office job, absolutely ridiculous.”- ryanzbt
The beach-bum-turned-regular-bum
“New guy, around 20 yrs old or so, called in sick saying he thinks he had a stroke. Since he lived across the street from the store where we worked, we all then stood and watched through the store’s glass door as he packed up his truck with beach gear and drove off with his girlfriend. Fired the next day.”- MachineGunTeacher
The NASCAR-racer-turned-used-car-salesman
“Back in my days working at a used car dealership, we had a teen come in and test drive a 1,500 (mile) Corvette, todays equivalent would be the ZR1.Anyway, the kid drives it around our set loop once, and is being a little waffley on if he wants to get it or not, he says it doesn’t really drive as well as he thought it would.My salesman told him it was user error, and he’d prove it to him, they went out for another loop around, with the employee driving it.He managed to get pulled over doing 135 (MPH) in a school zone, got arrested if I recall correctly. Needless to say, he was not welcome back at our store, however the teen did buy the car.”- LillyYoyoINeedGogert
The horny Hamburglar
“My college town hamburger joint gets busy as fuck on the weekends. We had a five man crew on a Saturday night and about an hour n a half into service I notice my fry boy is taking a helluva long time bringing back frozen appetizers from the cooler. I leave expo in a huff and stomp to the back to yell at him, threw open the walk-in door. This short Irish leprechaun-looking dumbass is getting his dick sucked by the new dish girl (owners friends barely legal daughter). Fired him after the dinner rush.”- just_some_babe
The South Park fan
“Not me, but a friend of mine had to fire a sales clerk because she stole computer duster from the office and left the sales floor during her shift to hide in the supply closet and get high with it.”- aaronsweber
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