The anonymity of the Internet allows even the awkward and shy to shine. AskReddit is a wonderful and hilarious place where people share real stories about their lives, such as when they did dumb or weird things around pretty girls they liked. These tales both incredibly cringe-worthy, and, let’s face it, highly relatable.
1. terribleone250s painted himself into a corner. A lonely, lonely corner.
I shot her point blank in the ass with a paintball gun that I thought was empty…
2. There are shockingly few good moments in life for a tribal dance, medieval_warrior.
Uhhh… I… did this… tribal dance thing? I really don’t know what the fuck it was. My crush and I were saying goodbye, when all of a sudden I got super self-conscious and nervous, so I stomped my feet twice and then clapped and spun around. You could tell she was bewildered as fuck, especially because normally I’m a very laid back and non-awkward dude. I honestly have no idea what came over me in that moment, but we ended up dating.
3. AsianHawke impressed girls by how fast he would walk right past them.
I used to walk REALLY fast when they were around, like they’d be impressed by my walking abilities or something.
4. Real subtle, IJustStoleYourWaifu.
I would look at her facebook for songs she liked and then played them through my phone when i was around her.
5. Great_Gogely_Mogely was a black belt in being a dum-dum.
I kicked my highschool girlfriend in the head while showing off my sweet karate moves in front of about 10 people.
6. Hug it out, MeridianOne.
I was at school walking to my next class. I saw her walking towards me with a big smile on her face, arms out in front of her. I thought she wanted to hug me so I went for it. She was trying to hug her friend that was behind me…
7. Leave well enough alone, OhNoItsAGhost.
Had a date with a girl. It went well. Accidentally pocket dialed her the next day. Then freaked out (because I was a weirdo) and called her 5 times. She never responded to any of the missed calls.
8. Women don’t like it when you scream at them, gavindec95.
I was riding the bus home and there was a cute girl standing next to me. I struck up a conversation smoothly enough, but then as she was describing how her day was a bit stressful I responded with “At least this bus hasn’t run over any BABIES” I was just trying to be helpful, but I kind of yelled the last word. She gave me a weird look, and didn’t have much more to say.
9. Dandydimmer, you should be married for at least 20 years before you try that weirdness.
Sniffed her hair.
She was smelling strongly of apricots (probably shampoo or body lotion) and for some bizarre reason I liked it and sniffed her hair when she wasn’t looking. It was an intense moment but looking back now I can see it was pretty weird.
10. It only could’ve been worse if Nightstalker117 had picked it up.
I accidentally dropped half my lunch on the floor when I saw her next to me. I starved.
11. An effective anti-smoking PSA from HYDRAtedathlete.
I used to try to make my voice sound raspy, like I had been smoking my whole life. In my mind smoking was cool and I thought girls would dig that, they didn’t.
12. Whatcha gonna do when they come for jackshitapefucked?
I thought she liked “bad” boys, and I, for whatever reason, thought that bad boys spit a lot. So, I would always spit mid conversation. Well, I spit on her foot on accident once. I was 9 and stupid. My bad, Lauren.
13. You should snot do what will-o-of-the-wisp did.
this one time in grade 11 math class, me and the girl i liked where copying notes down together on the review for the exam. So I had a cold at the time and it’s really hot in the classroom so my nose is kinda runny. suddenly, I have one of those ninja sneezes that sneaks up on you out on nowhere and instead of sneezing all over said girl i duck for the armpit. BAD IDEA. Snot goes all over my elbow area and nose. I tried to think fast and instead of showing her my snot covered face and armpit i move my face and armpit as one and make it look like i am laying my head down on the desk.
14. Yes, but fate was already sealed in that moment, relish-tranya.
I was talking to Jane in her cube. I was leaving and laughing about something and a little bubble fart just came out. Her laugh trailed off and she kind of sighed “Yeaaaa”. I found out later she was a lesbian, so whatevs.
15. As opposed to on purpose, tinyhousebuilder?
I accidentally farted on her head.
16. theamazinggiraffe overshot it. Just a bit.
The girl I’ve been seeing recently playfully pushed me, so I did it back and she fell over.
17. In PM-me_your-areolas‘s defense, it is one of the more romantic blades.
asked her if she likes daggers
18. xthebigbean went all in. No regrets. (But actually, regrets.)
I went to kiss her, but got nervous. So I put my entire mouth around hers. She was speechless. I’m cringing soo bad while typing this.