“Explain how to use a toilet as quickly as possible.” – MaceWinduLightsaber
“Daddy loves you and misses you so much. I think about you every day still even though you left me months ago. You were the best kitty, such a good good boy. I made your favorite string into a necklace and I never take it off. I love you so much, you were the best friend I think I’ll ever have. You were such a good boy, such a good boy.” – EuniceBKidden
“If you need to vomit, for the love of fucking god never puke on me while I’m asleep ever again. Tile is preferable, but no more puking on me while I sleep.
Also please stop screaming. I don’t know what it means because you never lead me to what you need, you just stare at the wall and scream. If you’re bored, there’s toys. If you’re lonely, there’s almost always someone here, just quietly find us. If you’re hungry, just meow at your bowl like a normal cat. Meow, not scream.
But also I love you, you ridiculous, bizarre cat, and I like that you trust me enough to let me play with your paws.” – Real-Coach-Feratu