“My ex-boyfriend wanted me to meet his parents, and he told me they wanted to meet me too. We decided to drive up to their place in the bay area (we lived in Orange County at the time) for Thanksgiving.
I’m white, and he (and thus his parents) are Chinese. I normally wouldn’t mention this, but apparently my whiteness made them not approve of me, and therefore not actually want to meet me. I didn’t know they didn’t want to meet me, otherwise I wouldn’t have driven six hours and showed up at their house. When we knocked on their door, his mother answered, looked at me and said (in Cantonese) “I told you not to bring the white girl here”. More was said in Cantonese (I understood none of it).
To save money, his parents did not have the boiler on, nor did they have heat in the house. Not having a boiler meant not having hot water, and therefore not having showers. To remedy this, they had a membership at 24 hour fitness, where they went every night to have a shower. They insisted that we go to 24 hour fitness for a shower, literally 15 minutes after showing up at their house. 24 hour fitness has communal showering. I’m absolutely terrified of communal showering. I had to get naked with my boyfriend’s mother, 15 minutes after meeting her. At that point, she had never spoken a word to me in English. The first actual communication she showed me was to thrust a hairdryer in my hands.
Anyway, the next few days were excruciatingly uncomfortable. Next to nothing was said in English at all, and I felt like everybody hated me. I spent several days just being as quiet, submissive, and polite as possbile. I was sent to his mother’s garden to pull weeds in the sun for a few hours, and after that she apparently began liking me. Later in the week she decided I needed a checkup at the doctor (for what reason, I don’t know). Turns out she scheduled me for a vaginal exam, conducted by a man. A man who I don’t know. A man who spoke in really broken English.
I explained to her that I was not comfortable with any of this. It was horrible and embarrassing.”