I’m not real big on eavesdropping. The last time I happened to do so was in line at Home Depot and it was life-altering. The guy in front of me seemed really panicked and he kept whispering to his wife. I pretended to idly scan the candy bars to get closer. This was a mistake.
As I leaned down to procure a Snickers bar, I was hit square in the face by a fart so awful I could only assume it came from a Clydesdale horse with a wicked case of bubble gut. The conversation I risked it all to here was about the aforementioned man shitting his pants. That event alone Pavlov’ed me into minding my own fucking business for the rest of my life.
That being said, sometimes eavesdropping doesn’t end with blunt force trauma to the head via fart. Sometimes it just ends with someone having a funny story to tell their friends, and these people below prove that.