Some strange dude emailed us tonight and I couldn’t help myself (1 email exchange)

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  • thomas


    • klklklkl

      You should have told him to take his penis out of the little boys mouth while he is typing

      • SweetAwesomeness

        the chive will burn in hell!! and all us chivers will be there making some yummy smores and drinking beer!! WIN!

  • Dan Bowen

    What a complete idiot. Steven's head will 'splode when he sees this

  • jwwiggles

    Well done sire

  • GOD

    haha. very found. I don't have bad breath.

    • amanda

      very found? what does that mean, god?

      • http://deusexeverriculum.wordpress.com/ Postman

        This, obviously, is why we need people like Steven, (or me, Gawd's Postman), to translate the Word of Gawd for us. It seems to me that by "very found", Gawd means that all homosexuals will burn in Hell™, women are property and anyone with a sense of humour will spend eternity with a red-hot pitchfork up their bottom.

        • Lukas

          HAHA trademarking hell. Classic

        • Rusty

          Well, the Bible's not so clear on the sense of humor part, but God does have some pretty specific things to say about gays and women … namely that gays should be killed and it's their own fault, and that women need to STFU and let the men talk.

          I'm an atheist, though, so I don't really pay that much attention to the Bible, and bits like that are part of the reason why.

          • http://deusexeverriculum.wordpress.com/ Postman

            Well, don't worry about the atheist thing. We're Gawd's new Chosen People… and to prove it, the pogroms should start any time now.

  • Dawn

    my stomach hurts from the lol's

  • king

    this is why the chive is awesome

  • display model

    as funny as this was, it's a little scary too. I know people like this

    • Spanky

      Very scary. Now imagine if someone was crazy enough to KILL over some stupid cartoon drawings… Ha! that would be the day.

  • blasphemin' heathin'

    HAHAHA John you are my hero!

  • Trev

    The velociraptor was a nice touch! Well played!

  • broxton

    read it again and noticed that subtle exchange of quotes in the first two emails. brilliant

  • sloppy

    I love blasphemy.

    The whole blasphemy concept is ridiculous. Any gods worth worshipping would be able to take care of their own reputations without getting silly priests or imams to act like hall monitors. "You want fuck with me, mortal? I'll teach you to draw historically inaccurate pictures!"

    • fester60613

      UR SOOOO right! Stoopid gods might know everything, know everything and control everything, but they know bupkiss about PR!

    • mike

      Hmm, maybe god just believes that we should make our own choices, in hopes that we turn and find love in him.

  • redneck

    I haven't laughed so hard in ages. You have cheered up a clinical depressive ! 😀

    • ICLP

      I will pray for you to heal up!

      No, just kidding! There is no god!
      Get better! 😉 Cheers

  • Ely whitley

    My first ever comment on the Chive. Looks like the big G is gonna come and get you Steve, better hide- but where? he's everywhere, he knows everything and he created everything, even those pict- oh wait, hang on… hmmm, there's something about this 'religion' idea that doesn't make sense.

    • fester60613

      He knows everything and created everything, but he knows poop about PR!

    • Nogodscanuck

      God could not find Adam and Eve in the garden after they ate the apple. I think John is safe hiding in plain sight.
      Steven is hiding from Reality by put his head up his god's ass.

  • Snicker

    Awesome. I doubt that church can rally more people than The Chive

    • waryee

      HERE HERE!!

  • Baz

    Nicely played , Sir

  • Xek


  • dea9

    This is relevant to my interests.

  • Wasntme

    Funny, think moar could have been done tho. Trololol

  • NotARealUsername

    For real though, what the fuck is a parishioner doing on The Chive of all places??

    • BlazZ

      Maybe he has a taste for women with "heavy burdens"!!! 😀

    • fester60613

      Being offended on behalf of his god. Poor bastard…

    • Merc

      Maybe they were looking for some bubbling pictures.

  • Japtrap

    What the hell? Is that guy for real, i mean come on, do the christians really want a "leader" with no humor, i don't think so.. I'm a convinced atheist my self, though i would be christian, had it been filled with "teh lulz"
    and pictures like this…Just sayin'… Better watch my mouth now, who know's, maybe Jesus is online..

  • MoD

    Smells like a fake – you know, like the last time (board girl, iphone txt) or David Thorne for that matter (although I like to secretly believe that everything this guy posts on his website is totally true)

    • RiHugh

      Gotta agree with MoD on this, seems a bit contrived. You lost me at "please update me when this photo is taken down." Funny though.

      • Jen

        agreed. could be fake. still funny tho.

  • K_Truth

    Stevie needs to wake up – but then he would be out of a Job!

  • Bernidene

    there was that photo posted of the priest dude apologising on behalf of other christians for the angry signs… i like those kinds of christians https://thechive.com/2010/10/04/daily-afternoon-ra

    • Disappointed404

      I agree. I'm a Christian myself. Do I like the Jesus pics? No, but everyone has a right to post whatever they want online. And besides, the original picture are so corny, they almost have it coming. Seeing angry outbursts like this just make me so disappointed. It makes every Christian look like a crazy lunatic when some of us are in fact Chivers.

      • Creeed Braton

        I'm a christian and find them silly. I don't understand why christians always have to be such tightasses. you can live a little. This pastor is just asking for trouble, and trouble he found. I would totally be the apology sigh holder guy. some christians are out of control…

  • Anonymous

    hahahahhaha what a turd Paster Steven is

  • Jake

    Great stuff! It's really funny to me how little sense of humor religious people have when it comes to their symbols.

    It's just a shame that the Chive (or anyone else for that matter) won't dare to do something similar with Muhammad.

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