The USPS Flat Rate box claims that if it fits, it ships -or does it? (20 photos)

The “VERY HEAVY” package made it from Venice, CA to Emily’s apartment in Nashville, TN in 3 days without bursting at the seams. Well done USPS, well done. I have slightly more respect for you angry little people (kidding, the only cranky and slow-as-hell USPS workers are in Chicago).
Special thanks to Mac the Intern for dragging this package to the post office and fending off evil-eyes from holding up the line with his special package.

Your Mission Chivers: Go to the USPS and grab a flat rate box and put whatever you can fit inside and send it to theCHIVE offices and we’ll take photos of the contents and do a post. Be creative, but please refrain from sending poop. That’s not cool. And I’m pretty sure you can go to jail for that.

701 Ocean Front Walk #6
Venice, CA 90291

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  • Bud Ugly

    Damn, my first idea was to send poop.

    • Bluntahloic

      you can mail poop theres a website that sells the shit , literary. http://www.poopsenders.com/

      • Grant

        literary? so they sell shitty books?

        • Stevo

          Well played

    • http://www.facebook.com/acasinas Alfred Casinas Jr

      i see what you did there.. that's a clever "first"

    • Bella

      My classmate made a video of himself pooping on a sheet of paper, putting it in a manilla envelope, then giving it to his dad.

    • mith

      I'm thinking that they may have gotten poop in the mail once b4.

  • tits_mcgee_

    so they weren't lying!

  • http://www.facebook.com/craigweiss.sd Craig Weiss

    Good point…that dang Small Flat Rate box doesn't fit more than 1 dang t-shirt. I also can't believe that they refer to that box as their "Large" flat rate box…that one isn't very large at all.

    • OG456

      Then get a bigger box and pay the normal rates. No one likes a whiner.

  • soonerfan

    I am new to site and love it!! But what does FAP, DAR, and MOAR mean? Keep up the great work.

    • Dave Gal

      FAP indicates pleasuring yourself (from the sound)
      DAR is Daily Afternoon Randomness
      MOAR means More.

      • Kudos

        That was a simple but thorough explaination of those Dave. Good job

        • Dave Gal

          Thanks. Can I have a cookie?

          • TheRealSnowman

            Watch out, Dave, you might get more than you wish for….
            (Expect in the region of 5~500(0) Flat Rate boxes within the next couple of days – containing various cookies) 😉

          • Dan

            That explanation doesn't deserve a cookie. But it does deserve a pound of applewood smoked bacon. I told them to hold some for you at your local grocery store.

    • zach

      FAP: the sound made when you touch yourself at night.
      DAR: Daily Afternoon Randomness
      MOAR: "more" but roared.

      welcome to the chive

      • Mr_Rob

        And what's the sound of a Fap during day? (now im curious…)

        • the only

          you don't want to know

        • emignatius

          Sunny side FAP.

    • DaddyD

      FAP = Feeling Actively Pleasured
      DAR = Digging Anything Randy
      MOAR = Move Over And Repeat

    • eat balls, internet!

      i love when someone admits they're a first time chiver. i just smile and think: you have no f*cking clue what you just got yourself into.

    • Phreaky

      FAP = the sound teenagers are known to produce when looking at pictures of Emma Watson while not wearing pants.
      DAR = Daily Afternoon Randomness
      MOAR = the way some people like to say "More", but in a hipster "I've never grown up!" kind of way.

  • Bob


  • CalamityJoe

    1st step: Get a box
    2nd step: Put your dick the box
    3rd step: Mail the bo…wait. I don't think I thought this all the way through.

    • mbomb

      You also forgot to cut a hole in the box.

      • C.J.

        Nope, just skipped it

    • goposuar

      Detachable penis my friend. Detachable.

      • Bordo

        "I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and noticed my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable."

        • Dick LeGrande

          My friend, don't look now but, you got problems!

  • Gibby

    Thinking of what to send….. Damn all i can think of is poop….

  • GarlicInYourEye

    your sister is hot and I'm from Nashville.. Time to find her. lol

    • sunfiregalaxie

      I completely agree with this! I couldn't agree more. I'll keep an eye out for her downtown while I'm working.

      • Dena Long

        awesome…I"m from Nashville too 🙂

    • Sizzle

      Nothing creepy about that at ALL!

  • Tom

    did the usps ask y'all to come up with a way to pad their 2011 revenue?

  • william745

    I think the deal is up to 80 pounds is fine past that you have to pay.

  • Love2LiveLife

    your sister is hot #14

    • TheDarkKnight


    • jimminycrickett

      oh most definitely

    • Gaydonny

      Does she have a brother? (wink)

    • Miguel

      Find her! Oh wait…

  • iFapVigorous

    Alright we're going to need for photos of the female. Preferably without her clothes on if possible.

    • WirelessCable

      IFV, i think you are a troll… Emily is the gal photo, she runs theberry.com, your lewd comments are not nice at all.

      • ChrisR

        Whatever homie, you know you wanna see her in her birthday suit as well.

        • WirelessCable

          I'd take her out to dinner instead (like a real gentleman would) I'm not nude obsessed like 90% of everyone else here…

          • Tofu_Ninja

            Dude…. It's TheChive! 'nuff said.

  • Bluntaholic

    you can mail poop theres a website that sell the shit , literary. http://www.poopsenders.com/

    • BeccaB86

      Does the shit have like alphabet soup in it or something?

      • Dan

        No, it's from famous authors like Edgar Allen Poe, William Shakespeare and Dr Seuss.

  • justD

    i wish i don't work for USPS.

  • alan

    #19 Find her

  • Rightclicksaveas

    #14 find her…lol

  • aaron

    He called the shit, poop.

  • slimanus33

    #14 silf

    • Sharky

      I see what you did there…

    • duffman0313

      Nice… I agree

  • Frylock

    Your sister looks like Conan O’Brien

    • Phreaky

      OMG She does!

  • pdiddily420

    I think if everyone sends 70 pound flat rate boxes to The Chive we could single handedly kill the entire flat rate program(or at the least, they will drop the weight limit) .

  • Jon

    Im going to mail you cement 😀

  • Mr_Rob

    <Sheenfaced gets really mad and shoots USPS man in the head… zoom up-out>

  • Fuzzym

    what the fuck is wrong with her chin

  • Bax

    Nice way to have people send you FREE STUFF!!! Well Played Chive…Well Played…

  • Junior

    It was only a matter off time before someone came up with this idea….i see the maximum weight reducing very quickly to like ten pounds…put a timer on how long it takes.

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