Deep thoughts, by Darby Gunpowder (33 photos)

  • SweetAwesomeness

    # 5 im interested to know how the Chivers would vote on this?? thumbs —————>

    • SweetAwesomeness


    • Vince

      Ket is much better.

      • SweetAwesomeness

        hmmm…theChive is made up of less potheads than i thought

        • shicker

          no, you just fudged up the comment. no one wants to answer a fudged up comment.


      YES! All the way Yes. Ya cud have saved me having to scroll all the way back up to #5 though, me short term memory aint what it used to be! You know what you did wrong there ; ) PEACE

      • Christian Lander

        Stuff White People Like # 33, Marijuana

        People from many cultures like marijuana (South East Asian, Jamaica, India, Morrocco, Mexico, etc), but white people take it to an entirely new level.

        To simply purchase, roll and smoke marijuana is not enough for white people. They need to make sure they know all the different strains, cultivation technique, and methods for smoking it. They even have an entire magazine devoted those where they actually have centerfolds of plants that people have grown.

        White people are also willing to spend over $500 on smoking devices just to find new and more expensive ways to smoke weed.

        It is worth noting that at every white person, at some point, has written a high school or college paper about the history of how the DuPont industry helped make weed illegal. This paper also teaches them about how hemp can be used to fuel cars, make clothing, create food, cure cancer, and solve every single problem on earth.

        While you would assume that most white people smoke weed between 14-28 (and act as though they are the first generation to do so), the reality is that white people smoke weed well into old age. They also smoke weed with their kids! This is not a joke. White people love weed so much that they consider it a ‘gift’ to share with their kids. Leading to a generation that was not allowed to watch Power Rangers, but was allowed to toke up.

        All white people believe marijuana should be legalized, and they consider the Netherlands to a pinnacle of enlightenment. Also, every white person has had their most profound weed smoking experience in Amsterdam, so it’s a good idea to fabricate a story about your own experience there so you can quickly forge a bond. Traditional tales uses the following words: hostel, brownie, girl/guy from Hungary, crazy, locked out, chill dudes from Ireland.

        Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should ever imply that people just smoke weed to get high, they do it for medical/spiritual/social reasons, etc, or that there are any negative consequences. This will likely alienate you from white people.

        On the plus side, white people are always looking for higher quality, more potent, more organic marijuana. If you promise to hook them up with a special selection from your home country, they will likely pay a high premium.

        • Kyle

          sometimes racism offends me but sometimes its spot on hahahahahahahah and ya im a white guy

        • Tedskin

          you lost me at "People from many cultures like marijuana (South East Asian, Jamaica, India, Morrocco, Mexico" I couldnt concentrate after that

    • Henrik

      The world is better with pot!

      • ETHTY

        it's certainly more boring with it.

    • Anon

      It would get my vote, but you get a thumb down for fucking up.

  • mr_johnson

    #5 DUH!!!!!

    • Nick

      I loooooove living in the netherlands!!

  • BrownNote420

    #11 where can I buy one of these signs?

    • equalizermax

      I can make you one… for a fair price

  • dalexmu

    #35 i love how mario is part of history! <p class="comment-thumbs">

    • random-random

      this covers my whole life span, just turned 21.
      *and yes, a chivette*

  • bettingonthecubs

    #22 and #24 Truth

    • bettingonthecubs

      ok who deleted a picture?

    • bkfrijoles

      so be a total dick and borrow a puppy are my only options

      • Who you kidden

        Uh, no there are 7 options. Or you could switch teams -again.

      • amrith777

        Nope.I told you before–you're very cute (from what I can tell) your comments seem to denote that you're fun,witty,good sense of humor and you seem intelligent.Be yourself…you'd be surprised how well it works.I don't care what the other males tell you–I am a woman who loves women,and I think I know a bit more than what the average "Joe" will tell you.

        • nigel

          wait you're a woman!!!

          • amrith777

            Yes…we have established this on a number of occasions on this site,LOL.Time to change my profile picture even though I cannot understand what is masculine about it.Plus–I have stated many times that I am a lesbian.Good thing I re-iterated this in my comment to you or it may have traumatized you even more,maybe,LOL.

    • Christian Lander

      Stuff White People Like # 93, Music Piracy

      White people have always been renowned for having ridiculously large music collections. So when file sharing gave white people a chance to acquire all the music they ever wanted, it felt as though it was an earned right and not a privilege.

      When (not if) you see a white male with a full iPod, ask him if all of his music is legal. If he does not immediately launch into a diatribe about his right to pirate music, you might have to nudge him a bit by saying “do you think that’s right?” The response will be immediate and uniform.

      He will likely rattle off statistics about how most musicians don’t make any money from albums, it all comes from touring and merchandise. So by attending shows, he is able to support the musicians while simultaneously striking a blow against multinational corporations. He will proceed to walk you through the process of how record labels are set up to reward the corporation and fundamentally rob the artist of their rights, royalties and creativity. Prepare to hear the name Steve Albini a lot.

      Advanced white people will also talk about how their constant downloading of music makes them an expert who can properly recommend bands to friends and co-workers, thus increasing revenues and exposure. So in fact, their “illegal” activities are the new lifeblood of the industry.

      When they have finished talking, you must choose your next words wisely. It is considered rude to point out the simple fact that they are still getting music for free. Instead you should say: “Wow, I never thought of it like that. You know a lot about the music industry. What bands are you listening to right now? Who is good?”

      This sentence serves two functions: it helps to reassure the white person that they are your local “music expert,” something they prize. Also, it lets them feel as though they have convinced you that their activities are part of a greater social cause and not simple piracy.

      If you bring up this issue with white person who says “nah bro, I don’t give a shit, Dave Matthews has enough money as it is.” You are likely dealing with wrong kind of white person.

      In the even more rare situation where someone says “it’s all paid for, and it’s all transferred from vinyl.” You have found an expert level white person and must treat the situation carefully.

      Because of the availability of music online, a very strict social hierarchy has been created within white culture whereby someone with a large MP3 collection is considered “normal,” a large CD collection is considered to be “better,” and a person with a large vinyl collection is recognized as “elite.”

      These elite white people abhor the fact that music piracy has made their B-sides, live performances, and bootlegs available to the masses. Their entire life’s work has been stripped of its rarity in terms of both object and sound on the record. The best thing you can say to them is: “vinyl still sounds better.”

      However, it is recommended that you do not let this conversation drag much longer. If you let them continue talking to you they are likely to spend hours talking to you about bands you’ve never heard of and providing you with a weekly mix CD of rarities that you do not want.

    • Jangalang

      #22 Republican Art

  • Thomas Wins

    Okie Dokie Artichokie!

  • cmonstur

    #26 and #27

    • Ben2828

      and you know this… how? 🙂

      • Just Sayin'

        Agreed. I'm intrigued…

        • Firefighter23

          I'm arou……I mean intrigued too.

      • cmonstur

        Both of these things are a fairly regular part of my life, one more than the other.

    • Anon

      I think the last game I shouted at was The Witcher 2, and I yelled "FFFFFFFUCK!"

      But then I made Gerault sleep with a prostitute and all was well.

    • amrith777

      I find it hilarious how males don't think that females play video games (or the same ones they do–AND swear at them) or look at porn.Wrong on both counts….

      • cmonstur

        Well, I know a lot of women deny watching porn because they think it makes them "unladylike" or they're embarrassed, so a lot of guys just assume they don't watch it. As for swearing at video games, this is pretty much a daily part of life for me.

        • amrith777

          That's true and maybe I'm different cuz I'm gay but I know plenty of straight ladies that like to look at certain things and read certain things and men would be AMAZED at what kinds of fun they could have if they didn't make automatic assumptions.My partner has a 13 year old son and he thinks I'm the greatest damn chick he's ever met,so there ya go!I introduced him to The Chive,so he's got a point!! You go Girl and Chive ON!!

  • Some Dude

    I love tits!

  • meh

    #27 sooooo true

  • Lawrence

    #11 I feel like this at 2am every night.

  • EdWood

    Looks legit.
    Sad, very sad.

    • llano2

      Doesn't look legit to me. For instance, I don't see how manager make more than the talent. I thought it was 10% of the talent.

    • chris

      even if this were correct, which it isn't, it's only half of the equation. this chart is meant to represent money coming in from record sales, before that happens there's a lot of money going out which is all supplied by the label (recording expenses, marketing, manufacturing etc.).

      • Gutterville

        It might not be that extreme but I could believe that the record label taks 50 – 60% of the pie becuase they can, plus its last money in and first money out kind of deal for them, as for the singers or artist they have to spend their time and money while getting the money at the end
        MONEY doesn't come for free in this world and these rappers can go on all day about making money and having nice cars but the fact of the matter is that they have to work their asses off

        • Foley

          and different record labels run differently as well, especially the ones that aren't affiliated with the RIAA.

      • Darren Beazl Beasley

        You got that right…most people don't know that when a band/artist signs with a record company they are fronted XX amount of dollars for new instruments, touring transportation, recording expenses, and numerous other little things. The reason the record company takes so much out of that pie chart is because of the money they are due back according to the contract between the band and the record label.
        Then you have to remember for every successful artist/band a label has they have 10 others that were flops so they have to make up the difference.
        And this is also another reason why just about EVERY band you'll ever go see will have some kind of merch for you to buy; t-shirts, posters, cds, stickers, patches, ect.

    • ShakeyTheMoil

      I remember Metallica whining bout this a few years ago…someone said, "well I bought your records, then 8-tracks, then your cassettes, then your cd's, then etc, etc…..soooo I guess I'm not too worried about the "poor" musicians.

  • RubberDogTurds

    #28 cuz you can't show me what an uneaten cake looks like

  • echogeo

    #15 Teddy was the balls.

    • Calin Chifor

      ..the dogs bollocks

    • bigdeal

      our founding fathers were fucking bad ass psychos

      this reminds me of andrew jackson too..

      "Andrew Jackson was the first president on whom an assassination attempt was made. A man named Richard Lawrence approached Jackson with two pistols both of which, for some reason, misfired. With the possibility of an assassination taken off the table, Jackson proceeded to beat Lawrence near death with his cane until Jackson's aides pulled him off the assassin." taken off -its legit tho.

  • absolutcarcrazy

    #19. lol

    • _Moose_

      The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers!!

  • bkfrijoles

    #33 truth

    • amrith777

      Not only is it truth–but Jim Morrison is/was THE SHIT.That is all.

  • walkingtheriver

    #8 Deep thoughts indeed

  • Doogin

    #16 Am getting an LED sign of this to hang on my desk @ work!!!

  • WTF?

    I Fucking FAP this Post!

  • Ben2828

    #31 or just use photoshop? oh wait, they already did 😀

    • testmemofo

      It still makes a good point, the "ideal" male body takes a lot more physical effort, time, money and discipline than the ideal female body. If you're a girl basically eat a balanced diet and do yoga a few times a week and you're set.

      • KateNZ

        Yeah, if you're a woman under the age of 20 or have crazy good genes (see anyone in your Victoria's Secret catelogue) then it's not too tough. But for the vast majority of us gals, we're meant to have a higher percentage of body fat and to get that toned yet curvy look we have to eat low cal, high protein and gym/train as much as the fellas (most girls eat far less than you think we do). At least most guys have a few more years of beer and food before it catches up to you.

        • Tony

          Nope. A skinny tone girl is hot. And a skinny girl is hot. Skinny tone guy is hot, skinny guy is a nerd.

        • bigdeal

          its a delicate balance being a bitch, thats for sure. one step over the edge and your a fat ass. and if you dont catch yourself, thats it. your done.

  • Mike

    #17 Love it!

    • Tedskin

      love Myth Busters

  • BishopJuice

    #14 From the looks of the graph, I think the record companies are the ones harming musicians the most.

    • amrith777

      That means that you are paying attention.Nowadays–musicians make their money mostly by touring.

  • CDJ

    Did I miss something? Who the hell is Darby Gunpowder???

  • Rick Van de Schepop

    All these deep thoughts have crossed my mind once or more 🙂

  • Ripple

    #35 yea that pretty much sums it up

  • DanielB

    This was one of the best posts you've ever done.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Back to the top