• Shitcock McGee

    Dogs Rule! Cats eat shit!

    • Clifford


    • jDong

      CHEERS to the unemployed cat people! FUCK ME

    • Smack The Intern

      Dogs are for lonely pathetic attention whores, cats are for people who have shit to do.

      • junior

        hmmm…dosen't look like these folks had too much going on in their lifes….

    • enigma

      Actually, the dogs eat the shit, but they still rule!

    • Sme

      Yeah, actually it's your dogs that eat shit and then lick you with their shit-stained tongues, but that's probably the way you like it.

    • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

      I envy dogs; they can lick their own balls. I wish I could… OH WAIT! Fuck, never mind.

      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • Malkintosh22

      I agree but that's really beside the point, isn't it.

  • Jackhammer


    Am I doing it right?

    • bag


    • Lauren Gentiles feet

      u stop that right meow!

      • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Nothing wrong with Lauren's (<3) feet of course, she's perfectly proportioned, but even if they were big that would be OK as there'd just be more of her to kiss!

        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

  • t money

    meh, no thanks

    • http://twitter.com/The_Scofield_ @The_Scofield_

      Then why don't you fuck off?

  • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

    About the 'anniversary shirt' contest John mentioned FIRST in yesterday's DAR (the contest I naturally won with the '10 Chive classics' even though that was really bad for my IntenseDebate score):

    It's not going to happen. Why? Well, imagine John calling the couple telling them the assignment:

    John__: "Just one more thing, the winning assignment came from… Paula."
    Couple: "…"
    John__: "Hello? You still there?"
    Couple: "Tell you what John, why don't you take the shirt out of the wrapping, soak it with water, roll it up and put it in the freezer for a few hours."
    John__: "Uhhh… why would I do that??"

    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521060132 Sterling Crawford

      -120, what if this turns into a exponential climb up? Will be like throwing water on the wicked witch?

      • Adee_do

        Everyone of "it's" post gets a thumbs up from me!

    • Smack The Intern

      I was hoping the whole not cheating on him thing would pan out… maybe next time.

    • http://man-lair.com Stafferty

      FYI, I have officially started thumbing up your comments regardless. Not because I agree with them, but simply because I want to see if I can eventually create a redemption story.

      • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Aiiiin't gonna happen.
        BTW who is that hot goon at the left in your avatar?

        – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
        — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

        • http://man-lair.com Stafferty

          Elf who grew up and didn't agree with Papa Noel's fair labor agreement.

    • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Anyway any of these forts will do as long as you can lock the cats in before you set it on fire.

      – Also: if you're a male and entered this competition, hand over your man card RIGHT MEOW!

    • Felcus

      Cool story bro.

  • Intensemasterdebater

    #15 My dick overruled me on Bill F*&king Murray for this one…

    • HGrow

      NOOOOOOOO come on man well if i had included my picture with my Bill F#$king Murray one you would of gotten the best of both worlds. But i play fair…..

      • hMMMM

        Don't worry…not voting for that one (even though it was nice) precisely because they included the picture. I'm one of those people who is totally against chicks looking like that getting ADDITIONAL favors…this was a cat fort contest, not which fort has the hottest builders.

        • Jeremy

          I'm with hMMMM. Pretty girls, but seems cheap to put their picture up in the contest. It could just have easily been used in the Sexy Chivettes on Friday, after the competition. Poor decision making on the Chive's part.

      • drew

        I'm with ya. All the same, I can't help but think for this submission – "It's dangerous to go alone. Take these!"

      • Vidiot

        I just noticed that cut out the silhouette of Murray for the entranceway and details. Very nice! From one competitor to another I salute you.

    • Tony

      If the hot girls were sitting next to the fort, as to not lead me to believe a fat guy in his mom's basement built this fort and stuck a pic of hot girls in his submission, I would have voted for this 50 times.

      • http://twitter.com/SweetJessss @SweetJessss

        Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Jessi (: I (with my firend Carly) built Hyrule.
        We're proud owners (enough so to put our faces next to a cat fort haha).
        We are real non-fat & non-basement-dwellig-old-men.

        (: <33

        • Luke

          LOL the fat man even created a fake profile.

          • http://twitter.com/SweetJessss @SweetJessss

            hahahaha (;

    • JESS

      I agree with HGrow. That's BS. I could have put of pic of myself in a bathing suit and won this shit. But I wanted to play FAIR. This is NOT near being one of the best.

      • http://twitter.com/SweetJessss @SweetJessss

        well, I definitely mind wouldn't seeing your bikini pic. You should post it anyway (; heheh

        • hMMMM

          your efforts at being genuine are falling a little short. You seem like a very shallow person. Wanna go out?

  • cindy

    #9, #15, #31

    I have to admit some Chivers put some serious time into these things.

  • PopcornFarts

    Got side-tracked by the corgis so… gonna have to vote for that one!

  • lando


    One does not simply Tank Cat into Mordor

    • Dan

      That cat might.

    • Greg

      Haha. That is exactly what I was thinking when I saw it, and the reason why I voted for it.

    • frankysins

      Or does one?

    • JHL1

      Baaaaad Kitty!

    • Tyler

      Thats not a fort though, disqualified

  • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #15 is CHEATING!!! No cuties to win votes! Disqualified!!
    I don't care how well they tie the cat-fort together!
    Was in my top 3 before I noticed the vote-bait (cute bait though <3).

    – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
    — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

    • hMMMM

      Seconded. Get this entry outta here!

    • http://www.thechive.com Penrath

      I have to agree, (good god.. is that twice?) I also have to say that I am torn between two forts ..

      Both have Very High levels of effort. While #23 is a rolling fort… I voted for #6 because the dogs will win every time.

  • https://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

    So "Winning" this contest is basically the equivelent of taking the gold medal at the Special Olympics…….

    • jken

      Or…. showing that you are a creative person and like doing things for fun

      • https://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

        but…….these weren't made on a whim or for shits and giggles. They were made due to the fact Chive was holding a contest. Creative? yes. Spontanious? ney.

        • Twitter

          Hey, you're that guy who didn't participate but is here to just be an asshole! I remember you from a little place between STFU and GTFO.

          • https://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

            Oh, but I did participate. And my Cat Fort was actually constructed out of cat! Well, 25% of was Himalayan and the other 75% was asbestos…..

            I'm guessing you're crying because your fort didn't make the cut either????

            • Twitter

              Nah, I just think you're an asshole.

              • https://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

                Well, this was a helluva first date!!!!

                • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521060132 Sterling Crawford

                  Be sure to wrap up, that shit looks infected.

    • ????

      being better than everyone else who entered… yes

  • Smack The Intern

    #6 & #15 by a landslide

    #23 honorable mention – great design by not a fort…

    • Birdhaus32

      I didn't even think about that. Touche salesman

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000681927439 Kyle Shubert

      It's a MOBILE fort!

    • Michelle

      How is it not a fort?

      • Jen

        because its a tank! tank does not = fort.

  • ilovethechive

    Even though #15 had bewbs….I still had to vote for #6

    • theatreides

      Agreed….it was between #6 or Tank Cat

  • NebraskaGuy

    #15 What can I say … I'm voting #15 because … well, because breasts, that's why!

    • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Here I was thinking that Nebraska guys were cooler than that… another illusion shattered.

      – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
      — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

      • NebraskaGuy

        We're all about the ladies here in Nebraska … not douchebags or cat forts – sorry to disappoint ya'll!

        • SFDOi

          stop lying. everyone knows all people from Nebraska like cock.

      • tom

        here i though girls from Nebraska weren't judgmental haters.

        • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

          How would I know? I'm Dutch.

          – "Paula is to Chivettes as DAR man is to awesome…"
          — LG – twitpic.com/5q3g21

  • moeshere Foxdale

    #23 Now that cat got a freaking Tank..LOL

  • Lervinar

    #6. Hands down.

  • Guesty

    I vote for # who gives a flying fuck

  • http://www.isexy.com iSexyDude

    #15 is really awesome

  • https://thechive.com um_yeah

    Gotta give the hot chicks the votes in the spirit of The Chive… Also they had a nice cat fort too while we are on that subject!

  • http://twitter.com/The_Scofield_ @The_Scofield_

    #15 is pretty cool. The chicks are hot, but #6 gets my vote. Corgi Barbarians!

  • Brock Landers

    Tank is not a Fort! Cheaters gonna cheat.

    • Xsoldier2000

      but it is the coolest.

      • thom

        Who needs a castle when you have a tank? Tanks make castles obsolete.

    • USAF

      According to the dictionary it is! Clearly a "tank" fits the definition below…Besides, of all these "forts", I'd only want the tank to occupy a corner of my living room.

      1. a fortified enclosure, building, or position able to be defended against an enemy

      Is a tank fortified and enclosed? Yes
      Is it able to defend against enemies? Yes

      Tank Cat FTW

      • Brock Landers



    Didn't realize there were so many unemployed lesbians on the chive.

    • bud

      have you never noticed Paula?

      • NAACP

        She has a penis. Not a lesbian.

    • https://thechive.com/ mattythegooch

      Hahaha!!!! Nice!

  • Denise

    I vote for #25

  • Meh

    It's a fort… FOR CATS. Who gives a shit? (Answer: no self-respecting man.)

    • http://twitter.com/The_Scofield_ @The_Scofield_

      Sorry, you must have missed my first response to your dumb comment above. Let me reiterate. Why don't you fuck off then? Not only did you look through it and then take the time to comment, but you've now came back and commented again. You're not even a good troll.

  • confused yet frisky

    whichever one actually KILLS the cats, that's the one i choose.

  • Lauren Gentiles feet

    #15 was gonna vote unil these skanks went and cheated by showin tits and caked on faces…even though tits fuck that, tank cat wins!

    • mehhhhhh

      well that is not very nice of you to say about some nice young ladies

    • thetaoofamy

      I can do Photoshop! Turn up the contrast/brightness!

      • yar

        I'm pretty sure that's called a "camera flash"

        Girls being such haters is mad unattractive.

        • SFDOi

          yeah, but chicks who around kissing everyone's ass and acting like everything's sunshine, rainbows, and buttercups is even more unattractive.

    • luke

      We all know they are two nasty used up sluts wearing too much makeup.

      • Eat Shit

        And you're probably an idiot with your own dick in your hand.

      • Eat Shit

        Which really pisses me off because I want your dick in my mouth.

    • Elisa

      You're pretty much a fucking moron. Oh yeah, and a bitch.

      • Elisa

        And I'd know. Because I'm the queen of moronic bitches. And of skanks who like having feces rubbed on them too.

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