A note on Sexy Chivers…

I remember reading some comments on theCHIVE yesterday. A few Chivers said something to the effect of, ‘How much you wanna bet John gets so wasted at the New York meetup he doesn’t post Sexy Chivers?’

And I was all like, ‘Pssssshht, I’ll post it.’

And then I got wasted. This isn’t the first time this has happened, it won’t be the last. I’ll make it up to y’all next week, I promise.

Thanks to all the Chivers who came to the NYC meetup last night. It was one for the books. Photos soon. Stay tuned for the Friday DAR, I’m working on that right now, bloody mary in hand.

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  • Tayo


    • NIXem

      nice fake pic, real sure John is passed out , yea right

      just like that guy with giant pit stains got action too, right?

      • abc

        thank you captain obvious. he never said he did pass out. so it's just a funny (yes fake) photo to accompany the story.

    • John

      And that's the first thing you notice…

      • Tayo

        Yes, it is. Should I have noticed the attention whores or the guy pretending to be passed out first?

        • morebeer

          chive groupies

    • Secret_Frog

      Once you see it, you can't unsee it!

      • ZacHart96

        how in the hell is the guy balancing the beer on his leg like that?

        • turbo pinky

          either that or some one sewed her pinky finger back on in the wrong place

  • false

    ^ false

  • Rude

    I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

    • Barf


    • Syk Dewd

      step 1. google image

      step 2. type in "half-naked attention whores"

      step 3. photoshop "chive on" on their palms

      step 4.??????

      step 5. profit

  • anony

    "every hot girl at the bar come stand behind me while i lay down" hehe

    • Jam

      If that's every hot girl, I'm glad I didn't go. Those girls are poorly dressed and average at best.

      • CaMERON

        watch out. the white knights are gonna accuse you of being a jealous basement dweller.

        • Really?

          Has nothing to do with guys being white knights, let's see Jam post his picture where he's sharply dressed and above average. The "white knights" are just sick of anonymous trolls hating on people doing stuff they're too cowardly to do themselves, in this case, post a picture.

      • White Knights

        Jealous basement dweller.

      • Med

        Your wife is average! Those girls are smokeshows. Bendy downer girl might be the least pretty but still very nice

    • sup

      every hot girl or every girl? looks like a sausage party

  • StickyWickets

    It must be nice having your job

    • Salt

      "Job" is a strong word.

      • thehardcanadian

        Also, it would be nice if they would treat it like a job.

        On the scale of job hardness, posting pictures on the internet that hot chicks sent you is really not that hard at all. Suck it up.

    • John

      Meh it's ok I guess

  • tomas

    What is your secret on how you ended up with the most amazing job/company imaginable.. Please mentor the followers..

  • Sistine Chiver


  • jimbozo

    How can we be mad at you?

  • Ryan

    When do we get a Dallas meetup?

    • https://www.facebook.com/PokerPhreek Josh Luna

      I'll second that!!!

      • J-Money


    • St, nuu

      when Dallas stops sucking cock.

      • KC & Chill On

        Did you come up with that all by yourself ? How original. Trololol

      • Cowboy

        St, nuu, don't mess with Texas.

      • Clutch101

        It's not Dallas that sucks cock… That was all Debbie! She just did it in Dallas!

    • George Strait

      Dallas meetup ASAP.

    • Tim

      Dallas meet up is a must. Our chicks are hot.

      • George Washington

        Your chicks are your mothers and your sisters rolled into one.

    • Chase

      Obviously anyone who has beef with Texas comes from a shithole of a city. Meet up in Arlington, tx

      • Tru Pat

        lol suck NYC's dick. we'd own your hick asses with pocket change.

  • TheTexan

    Dude….you got 5 hot chicks standing over you NOT laying with you…..the only wood they got was from the floor they are standing on. At least tell me you got one of those hotties home……still, impressive sir.


      he's working on erin last time i saw them!!!! HAHAHHA Erin Willet on twitter or instagram

      • Debit

        Erin is the hottest chick on the chive.

        • LG's tampon

          she got a forehead like a dolphin.

          • Mattyboh

            That's hilarious.

          • The Nexz

            tru dat.

    • TheTexan

      I am trying to figure out why I got -22….

      • Anonymous


      • Yeah

        And 90% of the people in this thread are being assholes.

        • Ron Swanson

          and you're part of the other 10% being chive fellating pussies.

          • TheTexan

            Wow…..thought this was the KCCO site. Clearly for some its not.

          • Anonymous

            Trolls everywhere upset no bewbs.

    • https://www.facebook.com/SierraisPsychotic Sierra Perea

      KCCO! From Dallas! Add me!

  • nuccabay

    good work!!

  • CP11

    Nice job! to the girl in the Pink dress… handling 2 drinks like a champ in one hand… thats my kinda girl

    • trl87

      I think that's actually the guy behind her ballancing a beer on his foot.

      • ZacHart96

        that's what i thought too, had to zoom in to find out he isn't a jedi..

    • NebraskaGuy

      … must've been John's beer she's holding while he passes out – what a gal!

  • frecklebutt

    just keep calm

    • insaneyoda

      frecklebutt, please tell me you've submitted to the DAR, Mind the Gap, or even Humpday. (references needed)

      • frecklebutt

        i am a proud yet humble member of all three. 🙂 I'm hard at work right now so those references will have to come later

      • You're Welcome

        Here's one from yesterday's red head post. Didn't get nearly the love it should have.

        • insaneyoda

          WOW! Very nice! Waiting for moar!!

  • nuccabay

    seems theres a cute little redhead behind you that should submit too

  • http://www.facebook.com/casey.bullard.7 Casey Bullard

    All I'm Saying is that red-head in that sexy black dress better have made more than just one pic last night!! #1

    • Notknowing

      I second that.

  • MattKL

    Just wait till you guys get a Dallas meetup going. We'll show you some fine Texan hospitality, and make the last get together look like nothing.

    • Yea I said jiggy

      Y'all needa come to Texas. Get jiggy in this 105 degree weather.

  • https://www.facebook.com/chrisdemunbrun Christopher DeMunbrun

    I should get some props since I took the picture, just saying John…just saying 🙂

  • rmb

    i will not talk shit i would say good job on getting shit faced drunk!!

  • sdeezychivette

    Wait, what?! I literally just sent in a ton of pictures hand chosen. So disappointed Chive. Arghh

    • Yeeeaahh

      That's cool. Put them up on Tumblr. 😉

      • Heh

        Chive After Dark on tumblr

  • Tru Chiver

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! i need the whores so i may FAP! KCCO

    • JustSayin

      I bet you've been cheated on more than once.

  • insaneyoda

    I'm not disappointed, I'm proud! Rock on, John! (usually the DAR is amazing after such a F*@K up)

  • jroc


  • Da Sandman

    john's natural defense against the women is dreaming about the cock.

  • Chesterdrawers

    Woman in pink top with white purse:
    I am madly in love with you
    She says: I cannot believe this will you please leave
    Me: So she thew me out of her life, she thought I was a creep, and she probably wasn't the first, no wait, I got it…

  • tom

    that shyt was wack! nothing but guys in that crap..smh wasted my money!

    • Dave Scribe

      agreed. total sausagefest of pasty dudes dressed like 10 year olds acting like awkward 13 year olds around the few chicks that were there. lame.

      • tom

        tell me about it man. I was too hyped up for nothing

        • Dave Scribe

          At least we met each other. See you tonight

          • Miley Cyrus


    • Heh

      All the Chive meetups thus far have been sausagefests, why were you surprised?

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