Daily Morning Awesomeness (40 Photos)

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  • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

    #33 FIRST on the moon!!1! The MOAF! (Mother Of All Firsters).

    Good luck Mr Gorsky.

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – Don't you DARE thumb down Neil Armstrong!! Oh you just did already? Karma will get you!

    • LaLakers2408

      Paula…..stfu…

    • Saya

      Why would anyone thumb down the star of How I Met Your Mother who was stripped of 7 Tour De France victories???

      • R.A.Dickey

        I dont know why you got thumbs down, I thought your sarcasm was funny. Oh well it made me laugh.

      • 1C451

        And the singer of "Heart of Gold", so sayeth the NBC…

    • First hater HATER

      What fuckwit would thumb down a good Neil Armstrong reference. How sad that you can not appreciate a joke because you were not the first person to make one. So once again their are at least 13 people here I must ask to shoot themselves in the effing face

    • Mikey

      How do we know that Paula isn't really Jon or Mac just trolling the Chivers for fun?

      • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Having "Fun" working at the Chive? Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how hard…. aw fuck it.

        Hugs,
        paula
        – [insert your most endearing memory of Your Beloved Paula here and smile while thinking about me]

        • Paula's soulmate

          Paula, you are the sunshine to my rainy days.

          • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

            Oh, hi Mac!

            Hugs,
            Paula
            – Fan testimonial: "My opinion: Less people would hate you if you post more pics like this, but what do I know? I'm just a fish who fears my feline counterparts. – FeloniousFish"

            • kill yourself

              hey paula go suck a dick

    • Lyrex

      Do do realize the Gorsky quote never happened, right?

    • Keith Stone

      This may or may not be the pinnacle of your life.

      • Turd Ferguson

        That was really funny!! Like 12 posts ago…

    • GhoStedar

      You made -120! Congrats!

  • Romeo

    #23 I'd like to fight zombies with her

    • squirrel

      I dunno, bro, she's kinda got that "I'll shoot you in the cock because you looked at a female zombie" look about her. But I'll up-vote anyway and wish ya the best of luck
      P.S. – Never stick your dick in crazy

    • MattKL

      Distraction would be a problem.

    • Sacks

      all i can think about is that she has terrible trigger discipline.

    • Si1entStatic

      dunno I have a feeling that this will turn into the Resident Evil scenario where you guide and protect the retarded girl 90% of the time and kill zombies 5% of the time.

      that missing 5% is the time your bumping uglies as payment for saving her ass countless times……

    • 6655321

      I'd think Godzilla would just step on them. Also, didn't know Godzilla was a her.

  • adonisallan

    #3 Chive on, buddy!!!!

    • MattKL

      Like a boss!

    • Canucks_Rule

      go canucks go!! fyi, started up a twitter for all the bc chivers/chivettes. @kccovancity

  • Mikey

    #25 Well, with a name like that what do you expect?

    • Incognito
    • Firefighter23

      Hehe I get it. I haven't watch that in years.

      • Snooj

        It's funny because his parents are dead and no one is coming to get him.

  • squirrel

    #16 … B is for boobies!

    • ThePatriot

      b is for butterface

    • vinn

      that's good enough for me!

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Just like Cookie Monster to perpetually want something in his mouth

      • http://twitter.com/NickClark360 @NickClark360

        milk ???

  • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

    So I was FIRST again. Deal with it.

    BTW Bob, you managed to collect 40 photos? Wow, your weekend must have SUCKED!

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – You dealing with it yet?

    • Charlie

      Sometimes I think Paula is the worst thing to happen to the chive and then i think to myself….SQUIRREL

      • bees knees

        Up reference???

    • https://www.facebook.com/trevor.muxlow Trevor Muxlow

      #6 that's my boy norbs!!

      • https://www.facebook.com/trevor.muxlow Trevor Muxlow

        Sorry #8

  • http://www.facebook.com/cameron.pollock.7 theycallmedaddy

    #3 is a grade a badass. hat's off to you sir.

    • Cap'n

      "Leg's off to you sir!"

      …I'm sorry

  • adonisallan

    #14 my dream woman. pretty, half-naked, in the kitchen.

    • Ander

      That's the dream, man! That's the dream.

    • Hotspotnonya

      AAAAAAND not cookin anythin with a cold clean stove now is she?….my my my you have limited expectations now dontcha….

      • adonisallan

        who says anything about cooking?

        You're probably fat because all you think about is food.

    • MattKL

      Probably wouldn't be doing a lot of cooking.

    • Jezza67

      Anybody know who she is? I would love to think it was Alison Brie, but that would just be too optimistic.

    • FunKiller

      Now that's wife material……..Paula, takes notes!

    • Teea

      Wow… my husband must be really spoiled… I do that every day ^-^

  • Mikey

    #40 While riding the Gravitron, a wild snorlax appears…

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Physics — It is not your friend

    • Bill

      If you remember standing up on the side mid ride, then you had a great childhood

      • Jen

        seeing people puke in that ride was the worst. ugh.

    • smallchinaman

      I'll bet that ride wobbled like an out of balance tire.

      • andfukyamoms

        HAHA

      • Gusto

        Hah I did not laugh today until I read your comment.

    • Buford_Justice

      I would love to be in there to see what happened when the ride slowed down.

  • Rusty Shackleford

    #29 Stll better than a Smart Car

    • thedude325

      I bet it runs on fossil fuels…

  • adonisallan

    #38 lol… truly expresses what parents feel when first day of school comes.

    • AnyoneForCoffee

      Mmm, so she'll be bored and alone at home now then…….

    • Kyo

      Not me, still have to go to my shitty job and come home to angry kids who need help with theri homework. FUCK ME FOR NOT REMEMBERING MY TIME TABLES

      • Jen

        same here, kyo!

  • Humankind

    #33 will be missed…R.I.P

    • Neil Armstrong

      "Oh cool story bro and Imma let you finish but I remember this one time when I WALKED ON THE FUCKIN MOON"

      • Buzz

        Thumbs down?? Im pretty sure he wasnt directing that comment at "Humankind". I got your back as always good buddy

      • thedude325

        Am I the only one who thinks it would be badass if he were buried on the moon?

    • Rusty Trombone

      Amazing man. Walks on the moon then comes back and wins the Tour de France 7 times!

  • thelogicbox

    #6, I feel like there should be more tongue, but KCCO.

  • Ben

    #6 Sluts, sluts are awesome.

  • http://anchoratlanticband.com Mike Litoris

    #16 Nookie Monster.

    • Guest

      Doesn't this girl have evil powers that come out at the Prom?

  • thelogicbox

    #14, You better not be wearing shoes. I'll have that sammich to go.

    • Anon

      Wouldnt you rather stay?

  • thelogicbox

    #24 Turning Radius: infinity

    • Dr_StrangePants

      Actually, how the hell ARE you supposed to turn it around?

    • Beev

      Obvious Photoshop is obvious

    • Gusto

      Of course I am obligated by internet law to link to the Top Gear limo challenge now.

    • Turrebo

      Why is Russia so big?
      Have you seen the turning radius of a Lada?

  • Jason Walter

    <img src="http://www.goldstoressite.com/shop/listz/ns.jpg"&gt; #14 Woww, Really hope that my servant can be so sexy<img src="http://www.goldstoressite.com/shop/listz/sn2.jpg"&gt;

  • Just Wondering...

    #14 Experiment: Thumbs up if you have a woman who does this for you. Thumbs down if you have a woman who would never do this.

    • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

      Thumbs left if you have a man that does this for you.

      Hugs,
      Paula
      – I thumb …

      • Mac Donald

        I usually hate Paula but that was clever. SHUTUP AND TAKE MY THUMBS UP.

    • Anon

      Cook for you in general? Or cook almost in the nude?

    • Wisti

      What if we currently have NO woman? 😦

  • LaLakers2408

    #40 LMFAO!

    • guy

      you can't escape centripetal force….

  • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

    Wow, no "the hippo is Paula' jokes yet?

    Hugs,
    Paula
    – I can tell you're not dealing with it yet; there's too much disturbance in the Force

    • simon

      For realsies? Cmon meow Paula.. "Spoiler alert" Paula killed John in the season finale of True Blood

      • https://thechive.com/ Paula_

        Argh, I haven't even seen last weeks episode yet…

        Hugs,
        Paula
        – you guys are not going to deal with it, aren't you?

    • Dr_StrangePants

      #37 Remarkably, our photographer's managed to snap a picture of Paula's genitalia.

      Easily identifiable by its distinctive presence of rotting teeth as well as being wide enough not only to accommodate the throwing of a Hot-Dog…but perhaps a whole Thanksgiving Turkey

      • guy

        I've heard that hippos, I mean "Paula's genitalia," are highly aggressive. Be careful with that stick of yours dr. strangepants.

  • craig

    #24 you can afford the limo, but not a hub cap? Come on, really?

    • Jen

      thats called hood rich.

  • PhiladelphiaCollins

    Paula, i fart in your general direction

    • Dirty Burger

      What are ya lookin at ma gut fer

      • ialsoenjoythatshow

        greatest video on youtube

  • Peter

    #36 , pure money. Nothing like some light hearted humor to start your work week off with. Thanks for always putting a smile on my face The Chive!

    • He!...he...heeeeee

      The original painting was crap paited by Elias Garcia Martinez, on the 19th century when people like Pablo Picasso were busy reinventing art (I don't like Picasso). It was never a masterpiece just some artist homework.

      • http://twitter.com/Anakrusix @Anakrusix

        Thanks for clearing that up. I was wondering where it originally came from.

        And thanks to the name, here's the link ( in case anybody was curious) http://atlantablackstar.com/2012/08/27/good-deed-

        • Matt

          Thanks for the link!! I've been trying to figure out where this came from for a week now lol

  • MattKL

    #33 We lost a true American hero. KCCO in the great beyond, Neil.

    • Tiber_Septim

      I couldn't agree more, one of the bravest men to ever live!

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