• Yes mam

    #5 is so true

    • bigyawns

      I hear this shit every day with my girlfriends friends

    • Calvin

      Is this too blurry to read to anyone else?

      • TimberWolfOne

        ya its the text is way too small, anyone kno how to resize it?

  • YoMomma

    Seems legit…

  • Ponderous

    Well put

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #1
    Drives the wife shit house when I do it too.

    • FLChiver

      Reason right there to do it.

  • tv_paul

    #4 A wise man once said "The world is my toilet”.

    • Canucks_Rule

      i wish to learn more from him.

  • http://twitter.com/misterMRfresh @misterMRfresh

    1-20 True.

  • http://echogeo.wordpress.com/ echogeo

    #13
    Shut up, Chive! You just shut up about that.

    • CanadianChivette

      Going through one are ya?! They blow for both sexes, trust me!!

    • Reality

      I'm going through one too. After 8years is tough. Reality… Hang in there.

      • The_Dood

        There's hope. I got out of a seven year relationship about a year and a half ago; met a Swedish girl on the internet because of a shared love of Them Crooked Vultures about 9 months later. Since then, she's flown over here to the states and flown me there. And that never would've been possible if my ex hadn't left. It gets better, trust me. I can even remember myself saying after that break up, I'll never find a girl this awesome again… Boy was I wrong! There's plenty of awesome girls out there that will appreciate you. You just have to find them. Good luck, and stay strong.

        • Cpt Obvious

          You cheered me up

          • tazo

            yeh i got out of a 5 year one with my ex, he was my 'college sweetheart'. i thought he was the last golden egg available, and my life would neverrrr everrrrr shine again. WRONG! it took a while, like over a year, but i haven't been this happy since the first time i discovered w e e d 😀 you'll be more than fine. this is the best thing that has ever happened to you!

        • Derek

          Sometimes it gets better, sometimes it gets worse. Just saying, life ain't always fair.

    • BenNotKenobi

      Ditto…11 years. It blows but hey, shit happens. A very wise friend had these pearls of Wisdom : Take it in, let it pass, let it go. You`ll be on your feet in no time. KCCO to us all.

    • IrishJesus

      I'm going through one too. Four years, then it ended in a flash. There will be good days where you happily embrace your freedom, and there will be days you hate the sun for rising. Know that these will come to a balance and life will go on. KCCO.

  • TheBAMFinater

    Didn't find anything not true. 16 years of marriage, this is pretty accurate.

    • Snarky Snarkerson

      16 years here too and it is dead nuts on!

  • PB&J

    Absolutely…fucking brilliant!

  • Macro

    #20 The short people comment was hilarious

    • kenny

      and also very true.

      • asoidns

        and older than the internet…

        • RanXerox Lives!

          Maybe even from the Xerox humor days…

  • Iceman2509

    #16 I lol'd when I saw this one. It reminded me of my wedding day last May.
    The same thing happened.

  • Dylan

    #12 I gotta say I appreciate the effort though

    • Brandon

      It does require a lot of effort to put pants on – thanks.

  • DDD

    [youtube V0GcieGYfAo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0GcieGYfAo youtube]

    • upinya

      RIP

      • Territorial Pissings

        Last joke is what got him killed…

  • JohnnyT

    One of the best posts I have seen on the Chive. Not that others aren't great too.

  • Adam

    Ladies, keep doing what you're doing, even if it's made fun of here. You wouldn't be looking as good if you took most of this stuff to heart.

    • kikass

      I am a female, and none of this offends me. Its all a veryaccurate portayal of who we are. I loved this post so much, made me laugh my ass off!

      • videologic

        I'm male and i find it offensive towards people like me who don't want to be grouped in with the "men" depicted in this post

        • Ryan

          Pull your thong out of your ass and move along Nancy.

    • Coop

      GAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!

    • http://twitter.com/novajellyfish @novajellyfish

      Lawl! I may be a lady but I'm not the weepy, over-analytical type. I thought this post was awesome. It definitely shows hilarious depictions of the two sexes.

    • http://twitter.com/ortegaralph @ortegaralph

      Need some water there, buddy? You seem a little bit parched.

    • Men

      Friend Zone Level: Expert!

    • DOOFY ONE

      fag.

    • Tampax

      Somebody get this guy a tampon

  • Powshred

    #16 Made me Lol way too hard.

  • one nut

    Adam was sitting in the garden of eden looking really sad. God parts the cloud and says, "Adam, whats wrong, Eden is heaven. It's so beautiful, there's even a Unicorn". Adam replies,"God, it's beautiful, but I'm lonely, can you create another person that is beautiful and caring. Someone to share the good times that will make me laugh and feel loved. Someone that is soft and gentle enough to get me through the rough times." God say, "I can make that, but it will cost you and arm and a leg".

    Adam looks at his arms and legs and says, "Well shit, what can I get for a rib?"

    • Dydy

      HAHAHAHAHAHA Explains alot.

  • Stick

    If these are what men and women are like, I want no part in either.

    • StevieB

      Holy mackarel, are you the person the Forever Alone meme is based on?!

      • Jesse

        Are you a broom?

        • Beast

          ^I laughed so hard at this. Bravo.

  • Nanahater

    That awkward moment when you realize your basically a man trapped in a women's body…

    • Doc

      Sooooo….. You're a lesbian?

    • Kato

      But my body… my booooodddyyyy…. is telling me yeah!!!

  • huh?

    Wait, this exact post was on Cavemancircus.com yesterday?

    • no life

      who kows, but I do know I will be leaving work now to check the whole internet for repost…..

      • NEALZ!

        Better call in sick the rest of the week.

  • MylesofStyles

    #8 Am I the only one uses the wife's fancy shit on my balls? Probably, but they just come out so soft and silky.

    • Hrdwood

      And by fancy shit, do you mean NAIR?

      • MylesofStyles

        Fuck that. I use axle grease and a straight blade to shave them.

        • Ryan

          That's awfully ballsy of you…

          • MylesofStyles

            Well done. You're really on the ball today.

            • Ryan

              Well I like to joke around, but I have to be careful so I don't sacked for doing this at work.

        • Hrdwood

          Don't get testy… It just seems to me that you'd have to be off your nut to take a sharp object to that area.

          • jasgat66

            These comments are just plain nutty

          • WileEOne

            No kidding. You might accidently Lance something…

  • Charlie

    This describes some women, there are plenty of women who are lazy, i.e. like men 😛

  • Sean Hannan

    #12 is from a webcomic about two lesbians => Both of the people in that picture are women.

    • thom

      Works for hetero relationships even more so.

  • Browncoat

    #1 to be fair, we spend the whole vacation asking, "honey, did you remember to pack xyz". And she did.

    • the guy's side

      actually, after all that pre-planning it never fails that on the way to the airport my wife remembers something she forgot to pack and the vacation gets off to a bad start. I on the other hand, always seem to have everything I need…women! can't live with them and can't shoot them.

      • Dandude

        You have to tell them the flight leaves an hour earlier than it actually does

  • StopTheMidgets

    #20

    hey wife. Who are all the midgets running around? do they live here? I think I've seen one more than once..

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