The Terminator
“Had a threesome while dressed as a Terminator.”
Twitter Bird
“I went as the Twitter Bird. Blue wig, blue dress covered in feathers, Twitter T around my neck, bird beak on my nose. I was monster-mashing to “I Want Candy” when a guy dressed as Super Mario pointed to a door and said, “I’m going to go in there. Meet me in five minutes.” When I walked into the room I shouted, “It’s-a-meee, Mario!” because I’m erotic like that. We hooked up there. Feathers. Everywhere. Like an avian crime scene. When we were done, I zipped my J.Crew dress back up and took a cab home, so proud of myself for successfully repurposing a bridesmaid dress.”
Hansel & Gretel
“My good guy friend from my hometown and I were both blonde and petite, so we thought it’d be precious to dress up as two little rosy-cheeked German children, Hansel and Gretel. It was very fitting, since we had already convinced a ton of people that Freshman year at college that we were siblings.
Spirits were high after winning the UV Blue at the Halloween Party, so we took it to the dorms to celebrate. One shot of alcoholic mouthwash led to the next, and… remember that scene when Joe Dirt fucks his sister? Went down like that, costumes still on, of course.
It was the first and last time this little Hansel and Gretel duo got the goodies.”
Snap, Crackle, & Pop
“I was Pop of Snap, Crackle, and Pop. My hookup was Fred Flintstone. Fred’s roommate kept saying, “Hop on Pop, tap Snap, tackle Crackle,” but we didn’t all find hookups that night. Crackle peed her leggings on her way back to the dorm.”
Hamburglar
“Sometimes the real scare happens after Halloween. Dressed as the Hamburglar, I once made out with a vampire who later turned out to be a serious raver. JNCO jeans. Wallet chain. I spent several years running into him, always wearing giant candy necklaces and other nonsense. So this is my Halloween hookup PSA: Be careful whom you take home in costume, because you might get a surprise when you see them out of it.”
I dream of Genie (2 ladies)
“I am a dancer and I was crushing really hard on this girl I worked with who was also a dancer. I hadn’t told her because I was afraid she didn’t swing that way. We hung out all the time and I would flirt with her and such but she never really picked it up (I thought).
Anyhow, it was Halloween night and her and I and a few other friends had decided to dress up and head out to this little rockabilly style bar in the city. She showed up wearing a stripper/gangster/genie outfit complete with booty shorts, fishnets, a top hat and fake tommy gun. I was dressed as a stripper genie…all see-thru clothing with coins that hung off my bikini top and thong and around the waist of my pants and my face mask.
We all started drinking and it seemed after a while that she was flirting with me too, so I told her I wanted to kiss her (amazing how alcohol gives you the courage). She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the tiny bathroom of the upstairs bar and slammed me against the stall and began kissing me with crazy deep and wet kisses. She grabbed the waist of my pants and tore them off (they were Velcro so it worked out well) and before I knew it our costumes were all over the bathroom floor as she began to lick my p****. I couldn’t believe it.”
Alice in Wonderland
“This is short and sweet. I was at a Halloween party, dressed as Alice in Wonderland, and there was this guy dressed in the Scream costume. Keep in mind, I had no idea of what this guy looked like (he had the full robe and mask) and I casually said to him, “I bet you could make me scream.” He motioned for me to follow him, and he took me into a bedroom and locked the door. He started to take his mask off, and I told him I didn’t want him to speak, to leave his costume on.”
Librarian
“I met a boyfriend on Halloween last year. I was dressed as a librarian: cardigan, round glasses, long skirt, dowdy wig. I carried a dictionary around all night. He hit on me by asking me to look up the word adorable.”
The Queen
“I was dressed as a queen (royal, not drag) for Halloween and ended up making out with this guy at the bar. He told me he liked my ‘princess’ costume, and I got SO offended. I told him that I was actually a queen then proceeded to storm out of the bar.”
Tigger
“My sophomore year of college, back when I was a chain-smoking vegetarian and weighed 100 pounds, I bought a children’s Tigger costume at Walmart. I think it was supposed to be subversive, drinking and smoking while dressed as a children’s character. The kind of thing that feels transgressive when you’re 19. My boobs looked pretty big in that children’s-size top, though, and I won my ex back that night. He was dressed as a dinosaur, and somewhere in that blur of pot smoke he said he was still in love with me. I don’t remember how I got out of the tiny Tigger costume, but I don’t think I wore it during sex.”
Have any bizarre, or outrageous Halloween hookup stories of your own? Get the details off your chest in the comments!
