15 Tragically Stupid Ways Employees Got Fired, As Told By Their Managers

Getting a job is hard enough sometimes, but for some, keeping it long enough can prove to be more of a challenge. More often than not, one’s own job status is completely out of his or her hands. Maybe the company isn’t doing too great and they have to downsize. Or maybe the position is getting automated thanks to robots/technology taking over. Either way, working hard sometimes isn’t enough to simply keep your role.

But then there’s those instances of people who got laid off because, to be quite frank, they’re fucking crazy. They’re akin to thrill-seekers, always looking for the next adrenaline rush and going beyond extreme measures to make it happen.

Here’s a list of ways that employees were basically asking to get fired. Like seriously, what were these people thinking when they tried these stunts? Maybe you can decide…

1. Racord360‘s story ended with police.

I had an employee lock another employee in a closet one time. The person that was trapped called the police from inside the closet. It was quite an HR nightmare.

2. MachineGunTeacher caught his employee lying.

New guy, around 20 yrs old or so, called in sick saying he thinks he had a stroke. Since he lived across the street from the store where we worked, we all then stood and watched through the store’s glass door as he packed up his truck with beach gear and drove off with his girlfriend. Fired the next day.

3. Bbatwork found out about employee’s problem in the newspaper.

Had to fire a girl for not showing up for several days in a row, saw in a newspaper the next week that she had been in jail the whole time because she had locked her kids in a closet while she was buying coke.

4. Zeke219 witnessed a food tasting gone wrong.

Had a server drink out of the customer’s Dr.Pepper and Coke to see which was which….in front of them…

5. MrHarmCity newly hired someone.

Offered a job to a candidate, but had to step out of the office to grab some paperwork. Came back and a bus pass that was on the desk was missing. Newly hired employee stole it. I asked him to return it because a previous candidate dropped it and he said he needed it more than they did and walked out.

6. Kuuzie caught him stealing.

First day, he made it to lunch. Was caught taking toilet paper rolls from the bathroom out to his car on his lunch break because he was out at home. :/ Come on man!

7. NoNeedForAlias witnessed it on camera.

I fired an employee for being seen on camera throwing silverware and plates into the dumpster instead of washing them in the automatic dishwasher. She was… wait for it… hired to wash dishes.

8. Blankgazez‘s employee was boozing on the job.

Brought a sparks (alcoholic energy drink) to work DRIVING CARS. His argument was it has less alcohol then a bud light (it didn’t 1st of all, 3nd of all… wut!?! )

9. Aaronsweber exmplained she went above and beyond to get high.

Not me, but a friend of mine had to fire a sales clerk because she stole computer duster from the office and left the sales floor during her shift to hide in the supply closet and get high with it.

Don’t do inhalants, kids.

10. Starwestsky dealt with a really awkward situation.

Had an employee (male around 22 years old), blatantly and apparently with some force, grab and “jiggle” the breasts of a 16 year old female employee. He did not speak English and used fairly obscene hand gestures to convey his “defense.” His reason for fondling a teenager? “Her breast were very large and he couldn’t believe it.”

11. 11181514 had a screaming drunk.

Shouting “I’M DRUNK AS FUCK RIGHT NOW” across the sales floor

12. Knotclever1‘s employee was a dick to a customer.

I had a server tell a customer he was “a pussy” for ordering white Zinfandel.

13. Lassy06‘s story had to do with weapons.

Guy brought a gun to work. Bragged to all the employees that he’d “accidentally” forgot to leave it in his car.

He was escorted off property by security.

14. Kt20871936 said it all had to do with one bagel.

Boss had to fire a lady in our office because she lost her “marbles” when someone ate her bagel from the fridge. She literally had a tantrum, like a toddler. Also, the girl who ate it, ate it by mistake. She thought it was a bagel from the office breakfast we had earlier that same morning (it was in the same packaging as the office stuff). Now, I absolutely hate it when people eat my lunch, but the girl who ate the bagel profusely apologized. Even stated she would go and buy her a new one right on the spot. But tantrum lady couldn’t let it go. So, that ended up being her last night.

15. Lestermason warned his employees.

Every year during the holiday season, I’d warn the new hires, “listen, no matter how tempting it is, don’t steal a customer’s gift card. We can track it, I will track it and if I catch you, you will get fired. Every year people try it, every year people get fired. Don’t do it.” They do it anyway.

This post first appeared on Berry.

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