Motherfucking poached eggs. Let me tell you a story. It’s Sunday, you went HARD last night. So did everyone else on your crew, you’re all running on four hours of sleep on the sixth day of your shift because Monday is the day the restaurant is closed. Last month the owner decided BRUNCH WAS A GOOD IDEA. So that that fat bastard and his friends could come in and drink mimosas all day. You put on two pots of water and add just the right amount of vinegar to them keeping one just warm and the other in front of it just under boiling. You know two isn’t enough for service, but you don’t have space for anymore. It’s like seeing that your car doesn’t have any brakes but driving towards a cliff anyways, but what can you do? It’s service time! ORDERING: 3 benny, 4 frittata, 2 lobster grits, 1 fruit platter, 10 muesli. The day begins, the water of pot one starts getting cloudy from the first six eggs dropped for the benedicts. Two hours pass, pot one is now only half full, looks like milk with bits in it, you can smell the vinegar in it searing on the sides of the pot. That’s one down, you run it to dish, put a rush on it but you know the dishwasher is backed up, one pot left. Three more hours pass, as the poached egg orders keep coming and the water gets worse you start adding in extra eggs to compensate for the ones you break trying to get them out. It’s eleven thirty, ORDER: 8 benny – SOS 4, Hardpoach 2. That’s the moment. THAT’S THE MOTHERFUCKING MOMENT THE WATER SHITS THE BED. The mass of eggwhite on the bottom and the opacity of the water makes putting in 16 eggs impossible, let alone the 18-20 you’d need to actually get the order done. The first pot doesn’t even have water in it. Your head is still fucking throbbing and why the fuck do you even have to deal with this shit on a SUNDAY HOLY SHIT WE STILL HAVE DINNER SERVICE FUCKING KILL ME JOSE JUST SLIT MY FUCKING THROAT NOW JOSE I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT. This ladies and gentlemen is why I hate making poached eggs.
When I worked at Panera everyone hated making the roasted turkey avocado BLT. It was on the smallest bread and would always fall apart.
A sandwich with 6 different types of bacon, a maple bacon glaze and bacon aioli. It is an absolute mess and the glaze burns on the trays super easy once it’s put in the salamander