Parking is one of those things that can take years to master. The subtle art of staying between the lines being right up there with rocket science and heart surgery. However, in such grave times, these passive aggressive note writers are blazing a path of retribution and public shaming.
Shitty parkers, you’ve been warned!
“Dear Officer:
I have temp plated because someone keeps stealing my front plate. NOT because I am a drug dealer, but thanks for telling my little brother you suspect me of being one. Also, my FACTORY tints are legal and all 7 tickets you’ve written me for them have been dismissed. please find another vehicle to harrass [sic].
Thank You, Corrine
P.S. If I were a drug dealer, I could afford a garage.”
“Dear Potential Deviants:
I am aware that my car window is open. Please do not disturb the rest of the contents of my vehicle. I have taken all the belongings of value with me, except some reusable bags and a pack of baby wipes in my trunk. Thank you for your cooperation, it is greatly appreciated.
P.S. If you feel it necessary to steal any baby wipes, please limit it to 1 (one) per deviant.”
“Inconsiderate Driver,
You drive a piece of shit Chevy that doesn’t even deserve one spot, let alone TWO. It would be greatly appreciated if you only took up one spot, or simply bought a ford b/c Chevys suck. Thanks”
“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking to park further away, I can tell youI don’t have more space. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long life. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you pull up in your space, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But, if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will box you in.”
(Source)
