“Dear Potential Deviants:
I am aware that my car window is open. Please do not disturb the rest of the contents of my vehicle. I have taken all the belongings of value with me, except some reusable bags and a pack of baby wipes in my trunk. Thank you for your cooperation, it is greatly appreciated.
P.S. If you feel it necessary to steal any baby wipes, please limit it to 1 (one) per deviant.”