There’ve been a lot of rumors flying around about “Who is Mac’s dad?” “Where did Mac come from?” and “Does Mac even have a dad? Or did he just randomly appear at theCHIVE one day and John didn’t want to deal with an eviction process?”
These are great questions, and deserve honest and direct answers. It’s truth time.
Every night before I scream myself to sleep, and every morning when I scream myself awake, I ask myself; who is my dad?
Let’s start with the top three theories. Try and keep up…
Top Theory #1:
Mac’s Dad was the original founder of hit a cappella group “Rockapella” from ‘Where in the World is Carmen San Diego.’
FALSE:
Mac’s dad had VERY little to do with hit a cappella group “Rockapella.”
Top Theory #2:
Mac’s dad created the 1987 Jazzercise fad “Jazzercise” soley to profit in a career as a spandex lobbyist.
FALSE:
Although Mac’s co-founders (his mom and dad) created Jazzercise, most of Mac’s fitness inheritance came from Lord of the Dance.
Pictured above: Possibly Dad feat. Not mom.
Theory #3:
Mac’s Dad is Hollywood superstar Mark Ruffalo.
Now here’s where what the Spanish call “Iñteresting.” A simple Bing search turns up some informanté del conflictionato.
Hold on to your avocados, this next guac costs extra…
If you remember my hit How To Get Out of a Business Meeting tutorial which was downvoted 1,386 times, you’d remember that I disguised myself as Hollywood superstar Mark Ruffalo.
Coincidencé?
Ha, por la noche! We just opened a whole can of worms at a worm farm. What’s that farms name?
Ruffalo Worms™. (Probably™)
Let’s dig deeper…
I had a dog, but he was really old and we had to put him down, and his name was BINGO!
After a quick millennial DNA test, my thoughts were confirmed. My dad/celeb-look-alike was across the board 100% Mark Ruffalo.
Further forensics with a basic FaceSwap app was more than I needed. The 18 likes on Facebook only further proved my theory.
So where was he? Well…
There’s this. A super personal and candid photo of Mark Ruffalo losing his mind when I showed him my report card on the set of Shutter Island.
Only dads would do that.
And icing on the birthday cake I never had, that time I plowed a jet ski into a boat that totally deserved it, who was it that tweeted me? Mark “You’re totally not my son” Rufallo.
And just for the haters that will say it’s fake, even “Hot Eats, Cool Treats” came in with a felony reply.
If there’s one way to prove something, it’s through social media, emojis, and updating Wikipedia from various accounts.
Case closed.*
*Or is it?
I’m not saying Mark Ruffalo is my dad, but it would be a crowning achievement if he was (he probably is). We may not all have fathers that are Hollywood superstars, but the most generous of dads deserve to be treated like royalty.
In honor of all the awesome dads out there, we want to treat one lucky dad to the ultimate Royal Chive Treatment.
We’ll fly you and your dad to Austin (not on Father’s day as that’s time that should be spent with family – not drinking with us!) where we’ll roll out the red carpet for you to receive the ultimate Royal Chive Treatment – a decadent father-son brunch, 18 holes of golf, a special event in your honor at Chive HQ with John, yours truly, and the Chive crew, and some special surprises to properly coronate your father.
To be entered to win, Chivers should go to Crown Royal’s Crown Your Father site to crown their fathers.
Create an awesome digital portrait of your dad – my personal favorite is the one with the lion.
Then click the social share buttons to share to Facebook or Twitter, or save the photo and share on Instagram. (make sure the post is public!)
Use the hashtags #ChiveDads & #CrownRoyal in the caption and tell us why your dad deserves to be treated like royalty for the day! We’ll then announce the winner on theCHIVE.com on June 15th, just in time for one lucky person to give their dad the Ultimate Father’s Day gift.
Crown your dad, and make him royalty for a day!
Contest Rules HERE.
The Royal Chive Treatment contest is being conducted by Resignation Media.
