Timeshare presentation. I now know what hell is like. 8 hours of my life I’ll never get back. — CrushHazard
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Back in the days before soft contact lenses you were supposed to clean them with hydrogen peroxide and then use a special neutralizer tablet afterwards.
I forgot to use the neutralizer before I put my contacts in. Hydrogen peroxide in your eye HURTS! — samtravis
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Asking a woman when her baby is due.
Doesn’t really need a story. It went as imagined. — Miaoxin
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Bigger kid in class got cast as Santa Claus in a school play.
I walk to Biggest girl in class room and asks if she tried out for Mrs. Santa Claus.
She asks, “Why?”
Immediately say, “Cuz you’re fat…”
As the words left my mouth, so did my lunch, cuz she punched my square in the balls, which I rightfully deserved.
I’m sorry, Sandy. I was young, stupid, and didn’t have a filter. — sixesand7s
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I went down in the pantry of my grandma’s house and ate 45 year old peaches from a jar. did you know the human body is capable of shitting peaches in roughly the same consistency they were consumed? Me either. — Nkechinyerembi
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Elementary school age. During the 80s. My great uncle gave my dad a jug of homemade wine. He put it right next to the apple juice. I got lit up despite insisting that this apple juice tasted weird. Went off to school. I’m never drinking wine again. — Estadounidos
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Every man eventually learns the lesson that muscle rub should never be used to treat a groin pull or similarly place ailment. — jusjerm
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Cave exploring. The serious kind – with lights, helmets, and occasional crawling.
Fascinating while you’re doing it, but scary as hell in hindsight. Ample opportunities to get seriously injured or worse, in the last place in the world you’d want to be rescued from. — Scrappy_Larue
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Rode an Amtrak train from New Orleans to Washington DC. I thought I was a prodigy by choosing coach seating over a sleeper car or flying as I was saving some money by doing so.
Jump forward to 25 hours in the same seat, dude next to me pulling a Germany VS Poland invasion of the armrest, baby screaming all night in the back of the car and I couldn’t sleep. The Toilet situation had deteriorated onboarrd to the point where I would use elbows and my boots to open and close the door and flush the toilet as my fellow riders were baffled by the concept of flushing and utilizing a trash bin for paper towels.
I’ve been awake 25 hours by this point and it’s 3:45am. — alwaysawkward66
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What I wish was a “never again” story?
Masturbating after forgetting to wear gloves while making spicy salsa from scratch.
Current count: 3 times. I am an idiot. — hkataxa
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When I was six, I distinctly remember my mom saying “Don’t lick that grill Aaron, or it will really hurt” I licked it — fuzion129
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Once when I was little maybe 6th grade or so, I picked up a soda can thinking that it was mine from either. Turns out that was my dad’s spit can for when he used chewing tobacco. — hkd001
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Via Reddit
