Recently, I got a Facebook invite to the 15th anniversary of my high school graduation and I sincerely thought long and hard about whether or not I’d go. I thought about the good times, the bad times and the times that I thought I’d never live down.
As it turns out, there was a lot of stuff I regret, much like these guys on Reddit, so I opted not to go.
Instead, I changed my name, moved to a new place and started over. It’s better this way.
“Sent like five love confessions to a girl in high school over MySpace, then chickened out and deleted them.
Turns out deleting stuff from the sent box doesn’t unsend the message.” – Shishkahuben
“There was a brief time in middle School in which I would speak in the manner of Tony “Scarface” Montana. “Shot da fock up, you pile o cockaroches!” So embarrassing.” – YoungCosmo
“I was invited to the birthday party of someone I’d only met a couple times but we had a lot of mutual friends. I was sat in the lounge having a drink and the birthday-guy came in, leant over me with his arms outstretched…so I hugged him.
He was reaching for something behind me.” – Katniss_Granger
“When I was like 16, I had a huge crush on this girl. I also had a bad acne problem.
So one day, I guess I poped a pimple or something, but I had some blood on my face. I greeted her (we were close friends so we did that “cheek kiss” that is just actuall cheek to cheek contact) and…
I stained her face with my pimple blood.
Her friend started laughing hysterically.
Rip my self-esteem.” – AlchemyWolf
“I went to a Blue Jays game (I am from the states) when I was like 7. I thought the US hated Canada and started loudly booing the national anthem. My mom was not happy.” – Workyworkwork1
“I was really sick one day in high school, and my mother thought I was faking it and still made me go. I sneezed so hard I shit myself. It was everywhere. I called her to ask if she could pick me up from school or at least bring me a change of clothes, she still thought I was lying.
Luckily my gym teacher found me a pair of pants, but I had to deal with my shame for the rest of the school year. I got made fun of a lot for that.” – pizzaparty4-1
“I was out with my dad at some event. I was maybe 14 or 15. It was an off-roading club and it was his first event to go to. I was tired and we were getting ready to leave. I saw my dad talking to some people, he was like leaning on their car, looking into their window and talking to them. I came up and put my head on his shoulder/chest area and looked into the car for a couple seconds just to hang out and see who he was talking to. It wasn’t my dad. It just looked like him from behind. All conversation stopped and it didn’t hit me for like 20 seconds. Then I said nothing and walked away.” – reddituser1323
“My first source of porn was newgrounds with its Hentai ads. It led me to this hentai comic called Bondage Fairies. I printed it out at school without knowing it was 200 pages long and how to cancel a print. FUCK, the cringe destroys me even today.” – axiswar
“I was crawling across the floor of a store to go play with a girl on the other side of the store. (Crawling because my mom said I couldnt go play so I was very sneakily sneaking away) An old woman didn’t see me and tripped over me in the middle of the store.” – Unexpected_raccoon
“In middle school we had this mean cooking teacher that everyone hated, until our last year of being there, she seemed to lighten up a lot.
On our last day of school everyone was hugging her and saying goodbye in the front part of the school, and I decided “why the hell not, she’s pretty cool”. So as she was walking up the walkway towards me and i put out my arms to hug her, well she walked right past me, and I hear laughter from behind me, and its my crush and her friends dying of laughter.
Still kills me to this day.” – Hobotown
“When I was in middle school (6th grade) these older kids were making fun of me, so I turned and yelled at them “I can’t hear you I have a POTATO IN MY EAR” Like I was the smartest fucking person on earth.
They proceeded to continue making fun of me and my potato ear.” – dawrina
“During my alcohol phase I went on Facebook to search for and pore over pictures of my crush. When I woke up in the morning, I realised that I had actually created an event with her name as the title.
I believe the event was set as public. The name I put was a short version of her first name, but everyone knew. We’ve never spoken since, and the last time I saw her on the street I hid.” – subs_only
“My crush came to my house to do a high school project. It involved the Internet and while she sat next to me she tried to navigate to Google on my computer. Unfortunately, the address bar auto-filled and took her to my last Google search… page two of results for her name. Every link had been clicked. We both just sat in silence.” – CaptainOnBoard
“Last year on New Year’s Eve I was at a big bar in New York with friends and I got kind of drunk and went outside for a cigarette at one point. I must have actually been outside for the countdown, because when I came back in I looked at my phone and it was like 12:02 and I asked my friend why there wasn’t a countdown done by the DJ. I couldn’t really hear what he said, so I went up to the DJ and asked to use the mic and I did a second countdown. In front of the entire bar. With hundreds of people. Starting at “30”. And no one joined in.” – 240to180
“My coworker and I were taking the stairs to get to my office to be healthy. He mentioned my skirt was on crooked so I readjusted it as we stepped out…and a bunch of the bosses were there, staring at 2 people coming out of the emergency staircase all flushed and sweaty, and one of them readjusting her skirt. The raised eyebrows were bad enough, the smirk from this really pervy boss was the worst.” – eraser_dust
” I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend of mine that I had a crush on in middle school and my mom dropped me off at her driveway which was quite long. I walked into the house and everyone yelled surprise! They thought I was her. I was so embarrassed. I was a loner guy just trying to fit in. So everyone is upset at me and making fun of me and in walks the birthday girl. So I messed up her surprise. Later on, there is some music playing and people are dancing together and I finally get to dance with her and literally mid-dance she runs off to talk to her friend and left me. That whole night sends cringes up my spine.” – forever_cheesy
“I once referred to a friend as having “an electric personality”. At his funeral. 5 days after he had been electrocuted. The words kind of just hung in the air at the funeral home swirling around the group of 8 or 9 of us that were reminiscing. One of the guys looked at me and winced. A girl rolled her eyes and turned her back toward me. I swear it was innocent but I have never, before or since, so badly wanted to be swallowed by the floor.” – OhNoCosmo
“Waited in line at a gas station bathroom. I went in and took a gigantic shit, and clogged the toilet. I tried to plunge it, but nothing worked. So I walked out with about 3 guys staring at me waiting to go in. I quickly drove off, only to find out I left my phone in the bathroom. Had to turn around and ask for my phone while everyone just stared at me.” – tylerstockman144
“Oh middle school…Tried to date basically every girl in my grade without the slightest realization of self-awareness or the fact that girls talk to each other. I thought I had a solid chance with every single one of them. Cringe.” – hopelesslyspurs24
“I once wrote a letter in second grade to my best friend’s older sister that was in fourth grade, it was gushy and gooey and romantic.
He passed it on and I sort of forgot about it until one day several weeks later when I asked him ‘oh by the way what did she say?’ and he responded ‘she kind of just laughed’.
I still cringe when she brings it up and we’re now in our 20’s.” – yeahnahmate1
“Farted in karate class. I was like 8 but never went back after that.” – NarawynSeven
H/T Reddit
