Sure, Pennywise the Clown in “It” is pretty scary to find in a sewer (way to stay current Nick!) but here in the real world, there’s another underground monster to tickle your nightmare bone in many, many more displeasing ways.
This one is a humungous wad of grease, paper towels, diapers and more, and it’s clogging up the pipes in East London. It’s no doubt making the British rethink all that greasy, bowel-binding Fish & Chips. And maybe the way they always wipe their mouths so daintily at tea.
The rock-solid chunk of *WRETCH* is as long as two football fields and weighs more than 28,000 pounds.
I don’t know about you, but definitely reminds me of my ex girlfriend.
I mean, not when I dated her.
Anyway, you’re probably wondering how London officials hope to remove this fucking thing. Well there’s obviously no plunger big enough for the job. London officials say the removal process involves an eight-man crew, a few high-powered jet hoses, and a massive sucking machine (another ex-girlfriend joke goes here).
Perhaps more interesting is that the dictionary calls this phenomenon a ‘fatberg.’
Even more interesting than that?
Scientists say we may be able to repurpose these unsightly monstrosities for biofuel in the future.
So, “kill it with fire” may actually be a practical application to this thing.
Just like my e—
You get the point.