“A suspicious person behind a business that had been burglarized a bunch of times in the past.
Me: what’s your name?
Suspect: Jonathan
Me: okay how do you spell it?
Suspect: … J-O-T-H-N-A-T-H-A-N -sighs- my name is Robert ____ and I have a warrant.” – HomerJSimpson3
“My brother was caught with a decent amount of marijuana in middle school. Told the officer “I wasn’t gonna smoke it I was just gonna sell it.”
That was now a distribution charge instead of simple possession. He was never actually charged with anything though, officer felt bad for him I think.
Edit: by “felt bad for him” I meant he didn’t want to charge a 12/13-year-old kid with marijuana charges (in addition to feeling bad about his stupidity). There are a lot of good officers out there and he is one of them.” – keltik055
“Not a cop, but my friend told me this………. pulled a guy over late one night. His car reeked of pot. My friend said it was no big deal he just wanted to make sure the guy was safe to drive. Here is where things get wierd. Guy has his hands on the steering wheel (aka in sight) and is very very polite, but forgot to turn down his music. My friend said it was like being in the front row at a concert. Told the guy to turn down his music and no shit the guy instead of turning down his music just changed it to the local college station. Turns out he was on shrooms (and smoking) and thought changing it to the ‘right station’ would ‘compensate for the lack of nocturnal noises’.” – iforgotmorethanuknow
“I knew a kid who was arrested after pointing a gun at the police after they stopped him because they got a call about car prowlers. When he tried to run away he slipped and fell, so they caught him. When the police officer was telling the other officers that the guy was trying to shoot at him, he said “I forgot to take the safety off”. He basically just admitted to attempted murder of a police officer and was sentenced to 13 years in prison at the ripe old age of 17.” – PenisPotato922
“When I was a teacher, I stood with Officer S, the school police officer, in the morning out near the bus lanes to greet students. One morning, a mom drove up to drop her child off, rolled down the passenger side window, and called out to Officer S, “If you get a call about a break-in on Smith Street, don’t worry about it, it was just me.” Then proceeded to roll up the window and try to drive away while he ran after her shouting “Excuse me, ma’am, I need to talk to you” and I laughed my ass off.” – bullhorn_bigass
“Pulled a guy over on suspicion of drink-driving. We didn’t have an ESD (breathalyzer) but he was so drunk he was adamant that my radio was a breathalyzer.
Anyway whilst we were waiting he started to get really agitated as he thought we were up to something. He was begging to “have a go” on the breathalyzer (radio), eventually, I let him blow into the radio antenna, told him it was faulty and we had to wait for another.
Unsurprisingly he failed and got arrested.” – matthotlips
“I pulled over a woman for speeding one night. 45ish MPH in a 30 MPH zone on a gorgeous spring night with pedestrians everywhere. When I asked her if she knew she was speeding she said that she did – she was having brake problems and was rushing to get the car to her friend’s shop.
The regret was obvious when I pointed out that if her brakes didn’t work correctly perhaps slower would have been the better option.” – Qui-Gon_Jim
“I had pulled over a guy for some minor traffic offense who I knew had a twin brother. He gave me his name, let’s say Jeff. I decided to check the other twin’s name as well, boom, warrant. I knew he was bullshitting me but I couldn’t prove it.
I chit chatted casually for a few minutes and then asked him “what’s Jeff up to these days?” He answered and started telling me and I said “but I thought you were Jeff?!” He didn’t even try to get out of it at that point. Admitted he wasn’t Jeff and went to jail.” – Niborator
“Driver is in tears begging me not to give him a speeding ticket since he was going to have his license suspended.
Me: tell you what, if you have any information about something more serious than this ticket, I’ll give you a warning.
Driver: a couple buddies and I broke into a bunch of cars by Main Street
Me: you’ve got to be shitting me.
Driver: I swear! All the stuff we took is at my friends house.
Turns out the driver was part of a group that was going through car’s that were unlocked. We ended up arresting 4 people, 2 adults (18yrs old) and 2 juveniles. They all went to jail for a few years, but I kept my promise and did not give the driver a ticket.” – HomerJSimpson3
“My friend apologized for not drinking after the cop asked her if she’d had anything that night.” – morrisonh0tel
“As I was handcuffing a guy after a felony car stop for a stolen car, he looks around sees all the cop cars and the helicopter. Says to me “All this for a gta?” Why thank you sir, now i don’t have to interview you.” – foxfire1992
“I’m the idiot in this situation. Being apologetic by nature; when I got pulled over for rolling through a stop sign I said “I’m so sorry officer, I do it all the time”.” – _timewasted
“My mother is a police officer.
She once stopped a woman who was on her phone while driving and doing something else as well, I don’t know what exactly, smoking a cigarette or something.
Well, the woman saw them, panicked and intended to throw out her cigarette and put the phone away. Did it the other way around, threw the phone out of the window.” – Mad_Maddin
h/t: AskReddit
