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“Couple of colleagues and I were searching a house for weapons after a guy had threatened his mum with a samurai sword. We were in his room, finding knives, swords, a crossbow… when one of my colleagues picks up a cylinder from the bed. I stared at him, gobsmacked, as he held it with his bare, ungloved hands, only to hear him ask ‘What the fuck is this?’
Between laughing my ass off and gasping for breath, I managed to tell him ‘It’s a fleshlight. He fucks it to get off.’ Colleague stared at his slimy, recently used prize for a split second before squealing like a pig and launching it across the room.”
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