You already know what day it is. And I ain’t talking about Pi Day, that shitty holiday you were forced to celebrate as a kid where your teacher brought in supermarket pie and made you memorize a bunch of numbers. I’m talking about the true meaning of March 14: Steak and BJ Day.
Unfortunately, if you’re like me and you won’t get that bank account refilled until midnight and you won’t have a woman until you get your shit together, Steak and BJ Day is really Arby’s and Masturbation Day. But a guy can still dream, right? That’s why I’ve compiled a gallery of perfect steaks and beautiful women to celebrate the special occasion.
So Happy Steak and BJ Day, Chivers! And remember, as is tradition, be sure to leave the gristle from your steak by the windowsill. Otherwise, Blowvine the Promiscuous Cow will bring you a bag of sour milk and curse you with a full year of toothy BJs.
